Newsgroups: alt.sex.bondage,alt.sex.stories

From: an129811@anon.penet.fi

Subject: Story: Damage Inspired

	

Collected by: wodan@drakar.stack.urc.tue.nl        

	

	I've submitted to Rage for five months now and had thought I was

accustomed to the feelings of submission I have with him.  The tell-tale

aversion of the eyes and the little girl voice signals to us both when I

start to fall into sub-space.  I've never been very 'into' pain but I learned

not to pull away from Rage if I can help it, even if I was screaming.  There

have been times when I've felt very far down-- like the time he roped me

to the bed and I had to beg permission for him to walk me to the bathroom

in the morning on a leash after *proving* to him that I had to urinate by

wetting the crotch of my panties.  Last night, however, we reached a 

new space entirely. . .somewhere I've never been.  Rage has asked me to 

write it out so we can share it with others if he decides to.

	Rage and I had been visiting his parents house and we rented

the movie "Damage."  Perhaps it was the sexy scenes in the movie, or

perhaps it was just lying on the floor next to my master, but halfway through

the movie I could feel myself slipping into such an intense state of love

and submission.  I was breathless.  Rage was behind me on the floor, under

an afghan.  I felt him blowing in my ear, kissing my face, and sliding his

hand under my shirt in a sort of aimless way.  I can only explain the 

feelings I was having as a sort of undertow.  Rage's slow motions against 

my backside and the warm air he was caressing my cheek with felt like

an overwhelming current of warm water.  I wanted to make love to him, no--

to be a part of him.  Somehow this impulse came out in terms of possession.

I looked behind me; our eyes locked; I alarmed myself with the thought,

"Please take me home and hurt me."

	I didn't say this, of course.  I don't normally have an impulse 

coward pain.  I'm not really convinced that it *was* an impulse toward pain

so much as a need to have him make me utterly his.  Pain just seemed, at 

the time, to be the most efficient way of doing this.  When the movie was 

over, I could not take my eyes away from his.  Even while saying goodbye

to his family, there was such a stare between us that the pull was tangible.

We walked out onto the lawn towards the car.  As we rounded the tree I 

grabbed him and kissed him in all animal heat and stares.  He asked, "What's

this?"  I couldn't answer and he said, "You want me."  I nodded and we walked

to the car.  

	At first we drove in silence out of mutual understanding I think.  

Eventually, the way he was driving (aggressively, fast, with total 

concentration) seemed to enforce the quiet.  Rage tells me he was only

driving 75 miles an hour but it felt like 120.  I think it felt faster to

me because my heart was racing.  After twenty minutes of silence I was

afraid to speak at all.  Eventually I managed to squeak out, "May I 

speak?"  He said yes.  "I belong to you," I said in the most sultry deep

voice I've ever had.  No little girl voice this time.  I was confused by

this.  I felt more submissive than I ever had, and yet not soft and small.

I felt kind of. . .wild.  That's the only word that really fits.  

	Rage responded, "I know."  But I didn't think he did.  I tried 

again to explain the very serious feelings I was having.  

	"At this time, I can't think of anything I wouldn't do if you 

asked," I said.

	Rage again answered, "I know."  That sunk me back into silence

for another twenty minutes.  "Take off your bra," he said finally.  

Without even a moment's hesitation I began unbuttoning my blouse.  Cars passed

as I took it off.  If they could see me naked from the waist up I couldn't

have cared less.  I took the bra off and folded it, setting it on the

dashboard.  Rage reached over while he drove and pinched my nipples.  I

was already in such a state that I began to pant almost instantly.  

Every sensation was heightened.  I became more and more aroused.  Rage

had me put my blouse back on but not button it.  

	I remember that I didn't recognize the way he was taking me home

and I was half sure that he was going to pull over into the woods and 

take me in the dark and wild (my emotions at the time would have made

that an appropriate place to be sure).  Rage pulled and pinched at my

nipples, making me squirm all over the seat.  Eventually I realized

that I was having some very odd sensations.  My face was completely

numb, my eyesight dimming.  Those are usually the sensations I have 

before I'm about to faint.  I think I told him that I was going to 

faint then.  I'm not sure.

	Luckily, I didn't faint -- but I did fall so deep into sub-space

that when Rage reached over to pinch my nipple I didn't make a sound. 

He pinched harder, I didn't flinch.  He confessed later that this scared

him (he thought perhaps I was only half-concious since I have *always* been

a wimp about pain).  He then pinched so hard that under any normal

circumstance I would have screamed my head off.  I fully recognized how much

it hurt (it *really* hurt), but I had surrendered to him so completely at that point that I

swallowed the sensation noiselessly.  I just stared at him. . .and the road.

Then I said, in that same husky voice, "I'm an extension of you."  Those

were the only words I could think of to express how I felt.  

	He had me button my blouse as we pulled into the parking lot.

Then he asked me to gather my things and get out of the car.  I followed

behind him as he bounded toward the house.  He took the stairs more than

one at a time.  This frightened me on some level.  When he held the door

open for me, I was convinced that as soon as I walked in, he would knock

me to the ground.  I stood still in the middle of the living room. . .pliant. 

He had me put my things down and closed the door quietly.  We started to

kiss-- my hands at my sides.  I behaved as a rag doll. . .frightened that 

this would turn him off, but terrified to do anything but submit to his

every gesture.

	

*** To Be Continued ***