Absolute Possession- part 1 "I want to give myself to you, to use for your pleasure. To embrace my pain." He smiled, that lopsided smirk that dimpled his right cheek, a smile that I had grown to love over only 24 hours. "You've already possessed my soul. If it pleases you, you may possess my body as well." I held my breath, looking deeply into his aqua eyes, searching for the flicker of distrust, the glint of sarcasm. I found only honesty. It was so pure it made him blink away tears. This would be no guise of a relationship. The joking references to whips and chains and leather didn't belong there. This would be a liberation of past pain and hurt. My sweet friend, who had come to the lakeside seeking solitude and solace, was now offering his pride as a sacrifice. He believed that by enduring physical pain, he could release the emotional agony in which he had spent the past year as the functioning dead. He hinted that it would do the same for me. I cloaked myself with my virginity. It had proven to be valuable in keeping men at arms' length. But lately I have wrestled with whether it is my shield or my safety net. I looked out over the water, its slate blue melding into gray at the horizon. It appeared as infinite as the ocean, but I knew that there was land on the far side. I just couldn't see it. "Sleep," I said softly. "Be back at one." **** Nervousness usually overcomes me before I play. Not that night. I lit the candles with a steady hand. A soft glow embraced the room, shadows flickering across the items I had gathered. Since I had also planned on a weekend of solitude, I hadn't arrived with my collection. For several years I had acquired individual pieces to enhance the time I spent with pets… a leather riding crop, grooved clamps, velvet-lined handcuffs. But alone at the beach house, I had to use my imagination. The knock at the door wasn't timid, just soft, respectful of the late hour. I smoothed the wrinkles from my white linen shirt as I walked to the door. My breath caught in my chest. If he had been wrapped with a red bow, he wouldn't have been a more beautiful gift. He stood with his hands behind his back, the denim shirt molding to his broad shoulders. His stance gave away his prowess as an athlete, while his near silver hair gleamed under the porch light, betraying his age. Without a word, I stepped back, ushering him inside. As he stepped over the threshold, I remembered with a start how much taller he was than me. Being nearly 5'11, I wasn't used to looking up into someone's eyes. Slightly annoyed, I said, "Follow me." I led him into the bedroom and swiveled on my heel. The candlelight reflected in his eyes. I caught his scent and a fire burned in my belly; the mixture of soap and fresh clothes and musk intoxicated me. "Remove your clothes." Without hesitating, he began unbuttoning his shirt, his eyes steady on mine. With someone else, this would have been rude and cause for punishment. But pet's eyes were only showing his willingness to be there, his desire to please me. I held his gaze, purposely ignoring the rest of his body as he bent over to slip his pants off. He straightened and stood completely still for several minutes, his face flushing. I finally dropped my eyes and began to rake my glance across his body. Slowly, I followed his shoulders, across his chest. His left pectoral muscle clenched and released, twitching with restlessness. Across his stomach, to the slight bulge of fat along his waist. He shifted on his feet, uncomfortable. He'd said he hated his love handles, something that no amount of exercise or diet could eliminate. I stared at them a while longer. Skipping over his groin, I followed the muscles of his thighs to his knees, then slowly worked up again. He met my eyes, but now a spark of want illuminated them. Realizing that I was looking up at him again made me irritated. "Kneel down." He dropped to the floor, sitting on his heels, his knees pressed firmly together. His hands were clutched together on his lap, his arms creating a large circle around his erect, bobbing cock. I hissed between my teeth. "No, not like that. Like this." I pressed his knees firmly apart. "And when you sit back, have one heel on each cheek." This spread his ass apart, making him more open and available for my leisure. I knelt before him, my skirt riding up over the tops of my thigh-high stockings, the black lace dotted with peeks at my ivory skin. For once, he didn't meet my eyes. "pet." He looked up with surprise, as if I had called him Harry or Dean… anything but his true name. "pet?" "Yes, is there a problem?" "No. It's just…" He smiled, that damn dimple melting the iciness of my demeanor. "I had expected something different." "Different? Like what?" "Slave. Sub. Shit." He chuckled. "No, that is not what this is about. There may be times when you feel like a slave or a sub. Or a shit." I laughed. "But that isn't who you are to me." I leaned over, my honey blonde hair swinging forward. He inhaled sharply and held his breath. With deliberate care, I licked the edge of his lower lip, my tongue rasping against the slight whiskers just below the center of his lip. Then, I pressed my lips against his, softly, remaining perfectly still even though I ached to open my mouth to him and plunge my tongue in to meet his. His moan was a whisper, and he grabbed the back of my head and pulled me closer. Like a cat, he lapped at me, grazing my tongue before retreating. I immediately pulled away, but my lips still burned. I stood, my hem falling below the lace. His eyes registered the change and I liked seeing that he was disappointed. "What should I call you?" he asked, his voice husky. I kept my back to him, silent, letting the weight of his words hang. Measuring my arsenal with a glance, I chose carefully. After spending nearly a full day in deep conversation with this man, I knew exactly how to peel back the layers so that he would open his soul to me. I slowly walked behind him, my heels clicking on the wood floor. His knees would be aching by now, but he hadn't shifted his position. A small detail, but magnified in my mind. I knew now that he was completely serious. He was mine. The chenille scarf slid through my fingers, brushing against his back. A ripple of goosebumps trailed its path. I wound the scarf around his head and settled it over his eyes, then tied the tails in a firm knot. His breathing quickened. I slid my hand down his back, feeling the tension knots in his muscles, and gently caressed between his ass cheeks. My fingers brushed near his balls, skipped with butterfly touches over his perineum, and barely caressed his anus. I withdrew and he visibly relaxed. I stood in front of him. "Do you want me to call you Mistress?" he asked. "I think we have already determined that I'm your Mistress," I replied, nudging his knee wider. "You may call me Honey." He grinned, knowing my other identity. "Yes, Honey." "Now, pet, there are a few things I want to be clear. First, and most importantly, if you are ever feeling unsafe, you must tell me by saying, 'Mud.' I will stop immediately, but know that will be the end. You will dress, you will leave. Understand?" "Yes, Honey." "Also, you must obey my every wish. I do not enjoy punishment, but if you must be disciplined, then I will do it. It's for your own good." I kicked off my high heels and stroked his inner thigh with my foot. "I would much rather reward you for pushing your limits tonight." He shivered. "I understand." With the blindfold across his eyes and his strong arms limp at his sides, pet appeared safe and vulnerable. I began to undress, unbuttoning my blouse, unzipping my skirt, unlatching my bra. I slid my black satin panties past my hips and let them slip to my feet. I kicked them off. He sensed them and reached out, grabbing them then lifting the softness to his face. His slow movements mesmerized me and I forgot to object. He inhaled deeply, and then exhaled with a sigh. I watched as he turned them around, searching… searching… then he stopped and as a soft "Mmmm" escaped him, he licked the satin, his first taste of me. My pussy lips throbbed with a sudden heat. I snatched the panties from him. "No!" He lowered his head. "I'm sorry, Honey." I waited silently. I wanted my desire to fade so he couldn't hear it in my voice. After a minute, I asked, "Are you sure this is what you want?" "Yes! What makes you think that I don't – " "You are becoming very bold. I'm not sure that you understand." "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that, not without talking to you about it. I… I just…" "Shh. Stand up." He obeyed, slowly rising to maintain his balance. I walked to the bedside table. "I'm so disappointed in you," I said, picking up two office binder clips. "You are only thinking of yourself… of your wants… of your needs. It's all about you, isn't it?" His shoulders sagged. The full lips tightened into a slash. I shook the clips in my hand and they jingled. "You are the most selfish man I've ever met." The muscle in his jaw twitched methodically and his hands curled into fists. I stood directly in front of him, only a few inches away. "You know you're no good. A no good husband, a no good father. Even your business is failing. But all you think about is yourself." His breath came in ragged gasps. "Is all of that true?" I asked softly. He swallowed. "No." But his voice broke. "No matter what I do tonight, it will never hurt as much as you have been torturing yourself." I took one binder clip and opened its jaws. "Do you want to stop hurting?" His chest was filmed with sweat. "Yes. Oh, please, Honey. Yes." The jaws shut, clamping pet's nipple tightly. He gritted his teeth against a moan. I placed the last clamp on his other nipple. "Let it go," I whispered. "Let go of control." Swiftly, I knelt before him. With the tip of my tongue, I licked away the small pool of pre-cum. He gasped with surprise and instinctively arched his back, urging me to take more of him. Instead, I ran my tongue along the underside of his cock. A dark purple vein pulsed and I traced it with my fingertip, then kissed it. His sensitive tip attracted my attention and I tongued the slit, first gently, which made him squirm, then more quickly with a flicking motion. He groaned and ran his fingers through my hair, gripping my head. I pulled away in silence. By the drop of his head, I knew that he recognized his mistake. "Honey," he began. I shushed him. "Put your hands behind your back." He immediately obeyed, crossing his wrists. I reached for the twine I had found in the trunk of my car and began winding it around his wrists. Tighter and tighter, until I had wrapped the entire roll. I slipped a finger between the twine and his skin and pulled back, forcing him to flex his shoulder blades. Letting go, I moved in front of him again. The movement of his shoulders had caused the binder clips to slip a little and only the very tips of his nipples were in the tight jaws. His chest rose rapidly with his breathing. "Are you learning, pet? Are you ready to finally let go?" He nodded, then licked his lips. I pinched the clips more tightly and watched him grit his teeth. Removing the clips, I tossed them aside and softly stroked one nipple while I lapped at the other, soothing away all of the pain. I trailed kisses down over his stomach, lightly nibbling at his waistline, then slid my cheek against my favorite part of a man's body… the silky skin between his hipbone and his cock. As I nuzzled him, I brought my finger to my mouth and wet it, then shifted my body more directly in front of him. My right hand gripped the base of his cock while my left reached through his legs, and with a cacophony of sensation I plunged him deep into my throat at the same time that my finger entered his tight hole. He bucked as if electrified, his face turned to the ceiling, his back arched. I raised my head then thrust again and again, my finger rubbing smooth circles. He began to move his hips and I allowed him to set the rhythm, trusting his pace. His cock pressed against the back of my throat and I felt his shaft contracting against my tongue. I pulled away. "Not yet," I whispered. I stood and reached around him, my breasts pressed against his chest. Carefully, I untied the scarf, letting it drop to the floor. His eyes were slightly swollen, but his gaze seared my soul. "You are mine now," I said, and inwardly winced at how emotion had made my voice husky. The heat of his stare intensified, raw truth glinting in his pupils. "I am yours." His mouth lowered to mine. Our tongues met in lazy circles as we tasted and tested each other's mouths. After several minutes, I pulled away, resting my cheek against his chest. His words rumbled against my ear. "Make me yours." I laughed. "I already have." "No," he said, and the seriousness in his voice made me pull away to look at him. "Claim me. As yours." I stared at him, measuring. He didn't blink. I nodded solemnly. Turning away, I walked to my bedside table. His gaze rested heavily on my back and backside. I circled him, admiring the tautness of his muscles before using the knife to slice through the twists of twine. It fell to the floor and he flexed his hands. He didn't try to stretch forward to counteract the muscle tightness. Again, I admired him. As I passed him, I let my breast brush against his arm. Goosebumps broke out along his bicep, my own nipple becoming achingly hard. "Hold out your hand." I waited to see which hand he would choose. Slowly, he stretched out his right hand, palm upward. His strong hand. His writing hand. I brought the knife against his palm, blunt edge down, and looked up. Twin flames burned in his eyes, a muscle twitched in his cheek, but his hand remained steady. "Are you ready?" I asked. His shut his eyes for a moment, then opened them and nodded. His cock had begun to flag, uncertain. I shifted the knife to my left hand and reached for him. "We agreed that you would nothing that you didn't truly want," I purred, running my fingertips up his shaft. "You only have to say the safe word." His cock stirred under my attention. He licked his lips. "I want this," he whispered. "I want to look down and know that I belong to you. I want to see this years from now and remember tonight." I closed my hand around the base of his cock and slowly pulled it upward, sliding across the silkiness of his skin, then sank down again, brushing his balls with my fingernails. "Breathe deeply. There will only be three cuts." I stroked upward again and he moaned. "You must watch, so that you may remember it fully." I pulled my hand away and his eyes widened. Holding the knife in my right hand, I cradled his palm in my left. The tip pricked the pad of flesh below his thumb. "Breathe in," I commanded, and slid the knife downward. A swell of blood raised from the line. "And again." Another line, parallel to the first. pet exhaled with a hiss. "Good. Now one last time." Blood puddled in his hand and I reached for the rag, a torn piece of silk from an old nightgown. I handed it to him and said, "Wrap your hand." Using the tattered end, he blotted it, then smiled. On the base of his right thumb was a perfect "H". He wound the rag around his hand while I used both of mine to stroke his throbbing cock. "Now, I'm truly yours," he breathed, and pressed his face into my hair. I waited a few minutes, enjoying the feel of him between my hands before pulling away. I told him to sit. He promptly sank to his knees, properly kneeling with thighs spread apart, his hands folded, the faded piece of red silk between them. "What are you thinking, pet?" I asked, sitting on the bed and leaning back on my elbows. By the heat of his stare, I could easily guess, but I wanted him to say it and put words to his thoughts and feelings. For inspiration, I spread my legs a little wider apart. His eyes dropped from mine briefly as he stared at my pussy. "I'm thinking about a lot of things." "Such as…?" "I've never seen someone shaved before. I mean, not in real life." He bowed his head, lowering his eyes and looked up at me through his lashes. "May I… look closer?" I paused to think about it. "You've behaved very well, my pet. You deserve a little reward." I pressed my knees wider until they met the mattress. As he scooted closer, he grunted a little, and the exhalation of air against my wet lips nearly made me jump. Watching him, my heart began to beat harder and faster. I had never had a man so close to my pussy before, and a sudden flood of erotic images broke through my thoughts. Oh… to feel the slight scruff on his cheek against my inner thigh or the pressure of his tongue against my clit. These things I had only imagined before, never letting any other pet close enough. My thighs twitched, instinctively wanting to close. He raised his head and his gaze was so intense it felt as if an invisible hand was holding my head, forcing me to stare back. "Please," he whispered, the breath teasing my moist skin. I couldn't speak and just nodded. His tongue slowly stretched from his mouth and met the heat of my center. I gasped, and with deliberate care, he licked up my lips, flicking my clit on the final upstroke. My nipples tightened into hard points and heat flushed my face. My head became too heavy to keep propped up and I fell back on the bed, panting. Soft touches caressed my bare outer lips… his lips? His fingers? He nuzzled me, carefully avoiding my clit and inner lips, the roughness of his cheek an exquisite contrast to the softness of his mouth against me. A small touch would graze near my clit, then fade as he licked my inner thigh, his fingertips barely brushing my hips. A fiery urge was gripping me… I wanted… needed him to do more. Just then, he slid his hands under my ass and pulled me toward him, his tongue hot and hungry on my pussy, sliding in slightly then licking up. He teased my clit, lapping at it like a cat, then as the orgasm built he switched rhythms, circling it slowly, holding off the intense wave as it crested before flicking me once with his tongue, sending me completely over the edge. My legs trembled and my hands gripped at the sheets as I bucked against his mouth, breathless. As I came down, twitching at every sensation, he softly kissed my belly, lightly scraping his teeth against my hipbone. The fire still burned inside me and I felt frustrated. Empty. I reached down and lifted his chin, smiling. "I want you inside of me. Now." His eyes widened. "Are you sure?" "Are you questioning me?" Despite the harsh words, the steel had left my voice. I was sure and I trusted him, more than I had trusted anyone. But I was still afraid. He lowered his head, staring at my belly button. "I only wish to please you, Honey." "So you would do it as a martyr, is that it?" Control made me feel stronger. I glared down at him. "No, not at all. What I mean is that nothing would give me greater pleasure than pleasing you."