Letting Go (Suki and Baku, bdsm, ds, mf) Letting Go She tried to relax in the hot bath, trying to relieve the tensions of this particularly hectic day. She came back so angry and stressed that she stomped right to the tub, gaining little pleasures by slamming each door she passed on the way. Her boss was breathing down her neck again, and as usual, the phones were buzzing off the hook with unhappy customers. On top of this, the lunch date she had planned with a good friend was broken, due to some work emergency. She kind of expected it by now, since he worked a good hour away across the city from her, and lived even further away. They've often exchanged e-mail, but somehow that wasn't enough to fill the empty void that seemed to consume her at the moment. His last message to her was the cancellation; she received it this morning right after her company got the computer up again, but before it went down again after lunch. Her thoughts, while soaking in the warm tub, drifted back even warmer thoughts, to her last message to him. She had written him a fantasy of her, and was anxious to know what he thought of it. She had planned to hint around it at lunch, trying to "feel" him out without directly asking. It had been daring of her, more daring than she usually wrote. 'Intimate' was the word that came to mind.... She struggled against her restraints futilely, knowing full well he had made sure she was stuck. Her wrists were carefully tied with a set of red, fuzzy restraints to the bike hooks on either side of the door way at the top. This forced her to stand on tiptoe, just barely touching the floor. The muscles in her legs tensed with strain, as she pulled against the spreader-bar betwen her ankles. Her body glistened with sweat, and she moaned softly through the gag, wishing that the blazing lights around the room were not quite as bright, or as warm. The cause of the her sweat and strain was obvious, for two vibrators were buried in her body. They were all the way inside of her, only the exposed caps and a quiet hum gave them away. They were held in place by a thin leather strap, which connected the front and back of her leather belt and spread her cheeks vulnerably wide. She wiggled more, trying to get satisfaction from the vibrators, in her over-sensitized body. She had been there for only 15 minutes, but she could not tell. She had no clock to judge by, and no idea when he'd be back. They never seemed to have a chance to get together anymore, she lamented. So to offset the lonely nights between weekends, they've exchanged fantasies. Lately they've become more open and wild with each other. This time, however, guilty thoughts kept plagueing her. "Was I too open?" she thought, "Did I scare you away?" There was a saying once, that a true friend is someone who knew everything about you but loved you anyway. She'd gotten close to other guys before, but sometimes she tried to get too close too fast, and they ended up running away. Tension turned to depression as she decided to spend a mindless evening tonight by drowning herself in a trashy romance novel. As she got out of the tub, she shivered in the cold air, and quickly toweled dry. Then, rehanging the towel, she walked back into her bedroom, nude and oblivious to her surroundings. "Freeze!" came a sharp command from the bedroom door. Instinctivly she stopped, and then slowly turned toward the door. He stood there, a menacing grin on his face. He gestured toward the clothing. "Messy, messy my dear, that's going to cost you. And you call that not moving? Another point." She looked at him for a moment as a smile slowly transformed her face. She didn't bother cleaning up this morning, since she was rushing to work in anticipation of meeting him for lunch, and now here he is chastizing her. "Well, in that case, I'll just have to pay it later, won't I?" she said teasingly. To drive in her point, she turned back towards the mirror, slowly and seductively, to comb her hair. Before she finished, he was behind her; before she noticed him in the mirror, he pinned her hands behind her head. She gasped, surprised by his quick movement, and instantly starteds to struggle. "I was thinking more of paying it now, my dear" he growled through clenched teeth. "I finally got away and came all the way here just for you. Down!" She squeeled, as he tightened his grip on her wrists and forced her down on her knees. She knew what he wanted, of course, but she awkwardly turned her head around to look at him questioningly over her arms. "With your teeth of coures, my dear," he said sinisterly. He held both her wrists tightly in one fist behind her neck as he used his other hand to make her clumbsily turn around, on her knees. She struggled with the buttons, but finally managed to undo them. His jeans were tight, and the zipper handle was small, so it took a lot of work for her to get that down. After a bit of work, she finally loosened the zipper enough for his jeans to drop down to his ankles, exposing his underwear. His briefs clung to him so she had to tug at the elastic to get them down to his knees. "This will be the last time I help you," he said as helped her with the hooks he formed with his thumb. "Continue!" he barked, the arduous task completed. He was not yet completely hard, which made it easier for her to deep throat him. Enjoying the feeling, she wrapped her lips around his shaft. Her tongue swirled around his hardness, reaching almost into his pubic hair. He pushed with his fist around her wrists against the back of her head to take him in completely. As his manhood swelled and hardened, he reached up with his free hand to his epaullettes on his shoulder to pull out a cord he had brought specifically for this purpose. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the cords he pulled out. 'Distraction' she thought wickedly, and proceded to work harder with her skillful mouth. With satifaction she felt him hesitate and waver, but only for a moment, as he, almost fumbling, tied her hands together. With her hands bound and easier to control, he dropped her hands and grabbed her hair, twisting his fingers in it to guide her head. He let her lose contact for a while as her hands dropped below her chin. Her fingers reached to help her mouth, one curling around his balls, the other gripping his shaft to slide with her mouth. She began to moan softly. The vibrations of her moans and the movement of her hands and mouth got to him as he came, spurting deeply into her throat. She swallowed, surpressing her gag reflex, and continued to stroke him until he pulled away. "Very goood my dear," he whispered, almost woozy, "for that maybe I will forget about some of those points." Then, recovering, he snapped in a louder voice "Then again, maybe I won't!" while pulling his pants back up. She sat there, kneeling, her hands and head hanging limply before her. He grabbed her arms, then lead her, stumbling, by her bonds on her wrists, to the door. There, he secured her bound wrists over her head to a ring in the corner of the doorframe. Her heels could barely touch the floor, though she could tiptoe a little higher if she wanted. Almost teasingly, he drew out another cord and threaded it between her legs, pulling each end up, the bottom of the loop embedding itself cruelly in the crevice of her bottom and between her labia. Pitilessly, he slowly pulled up on the cord in front as he kept the tension behind her. He watched her close her eyes and moan in staccato as he did this. The smooth nylon running roughly across her anus and through her lubrication made her legs twitch and wiggle passionately. When his right fist holding the back cord reached the top of her crevice, he slowly started pulling up in back while keeping the tension in front. As her excitement grew and her orgasm built, he stopped. He looped the cord twice around her waist and tied it tightly. Then he ran a cord down between her legs and up to the cords behind her, looping around the waist bonds, and back down between her legs and up the front, tying it taut. She looked into his eyes through her arms, pleadingly, in desparate need. He knew what she wanted, but he knew how she hated voicing her needs. It even went deeper than that, he realized, from her messages to him. She was almost incapable of explaining. That is why he deliberately took this time to ask her "What do you want?" "I..." she trailed off. "Yes? Her face was crimson, and tears threatened out of the corners of her eyes. "I cannot say" she whispered, barely audible. "You cannot say, but you can write it, is that it?" he questioned, forcefully. "Yes," she sighed, somewhat relieved. "My letters and posts. It is easier to write. I cannot talk about it. Not specifically." "That's not enough!" He roared. "You will talk. You will explain what you want!" "Please..." She was almost whimpering now. He stopped her protest by slapping her cruelly on her breast. Though they were stretched tight into flat pads against her chest with her hands stretched above her, they still jiggled from the force of the impact. "Please WHAT? Stimulate you? Relieve you?" She winced at the bluntness of the language that he used, the words cut right into her soul. He hooked a finger through the front of her crotch rope and pulled, making her arch away from the doorway, on tip-toes. "You feel this? It's indestructible. It'll keep you on your toes. But as long as it's there blocking you, you won't get off." He let his finger go, letting her swing back, hitting the door frame. "And it won't come off until you tell me what you want!" A few seconds passed. It seemed like an eternity as she looked at him, lower lip quivering. "Well?" Another eternity passed as contending thoughts flooded her mind. "I'll make it worse for you... Tell me!" Still nothing. If anything, the look on her face was defiant now. "OK, you asked for it!" He took another cord and tied her ankles together. Then, with another cord, he tied one end of it to the ring in the opposite upper corner of the doorframe. Then he threaded the other end around one of the crotch ropes, pulling tight. As he pulled, and that one crotch rope tightened, the other one dug into her soft flesh, tightening the ropes around her waist at the same time. She gasped in agony as he kept pulling, until she started arching away from the doorframe again. He kept pulling until she was supporting herself only on tiptoes again, and then tied it off. "Yell if you change your mind. I'll be in the living room, reading today's paper." * * * * * * * * After finishing the paper, he came back. "Still won't talk, eh?" She was grimacing, as her eyes were filled with tears by now, and the balls of her feet could touch the ground. She was alternatingly stepping with one toe and lifting the other, they were so sore. "OK." He took out two wooden clothepins, each one with a washer hanging from a piece of thread through the hole of the hinge. He placed the clothespins on the nubs of her nipples, and cruelly twisted them around a bit, letting the washers hang down her sides. Then he flicked the washers a bit, letting them swing around. "Be seeing ya. I'm going to go read a book. Maybe the encyclopedia set you have in the living room. I'll start with volume 1." "Oh..n-no, please, I-I'll talk. I'll talk." she whispered. "What? I can't hear you." "I'll talk. Please, sir, let me down." she said, a little louder. After removing the clothespins and letting her down, keeping her hands tied and the crotch rope in place. "Well?" he demanded, rubbing her over the crotch rope, "What do you want me to do?" His voice seemed harsh on her ears, but she did not want to be hung up again so she answered. "I want a chance to live out my fantasies," she explained honestly, "I want to have full sexual freedom and not feel weird or strangled." She gulped at the words, trying to force them out, words she had wanted to say for a long time. Almost trance-like now, she continued, "I want to be dominated, completely, and give myself to you. I want you to test me, push me, and fulfill my desires." "Oh, so this is about what YOU want, is it?" "No..." she hesitated. "No WHAT?" he thundered. "No sir," she replied, her tongue seeming to catch on the roof of her mouth. Nervously she licked her lips as his eyes scanned her body. "How far do you want to go?" he continued. "I don't know. I have never explored my limits before. I know I do not like blood or water sports. Other than that I hesitate to say that I am sure I do not like anything because I haven't tried it. I am not sure I would be able to handle whipping. I don't really like anything that leaves a mark." He raised an eyebrow at her. She flushed. "No marks. That's somewhat limiting." She remained silent, her head bowed. She seemed unwilling to meet his eyes. Reaching over, he lifted her chin with his hand, forcing her to look at him. She stared, searching his eyes for something, and then lowered her eyes again. "Go on," He commanded. "I wish someone would really take control of me, of my life, of everything. That's really impractical, I know. And I probably wouldn't be able to handle it for any length of time, but the idea intrigues me." "Someone like me?" he asked, still stroking her around the rope. She paused, gathering up her courage. "Yes," she whispered. "Yes, someone like you." She seemed to breath easier after those words. She wiggled a bit against her bonds, trying to make them more comfortable, while his hands still played absentmindedly between her legs. For a moment, the light of the room conflicted with the darkness of the doorway, and her shadow projected onto the wall in the hallway. He was silent. "I could imagine," she continued, "you would be completely dominant. No apparent give or take. You would be flexible, but it would not show. When you were around I would exist only to do your bidding." "What would you do?" "Whatever you wanted, I guess. I can imagine you walking into a room and ordering me down on my knees. I would go down quickly, with my hands behind my back, and my eyes lowered. If it was not quick enough, you would threaten punishment." "What sorts of punishments?" "Oh, spanking, nipple clips, teasing...." she paused, as he stroked her nipples with his fingers. Pinching them harder and harder. A soft moan escaped her lips as he did this. She continued. "You would tie me up. I've always wanted to be tied up standing, spread-eagle, while you did whatever you wished with my body." "What would I do?" She barely heard the question from the trance-like state she had put herself into. The fingers of one hand still pinched and teasing her nipples, while the other hand danced lightly over her clit. And then harder. "What would I do?" The question repeated. "What? Oh...you would tease me with toys, or with yourself, withdrawing when I wanted it the most. You would have me begging. Sometimes you would blindfold me, or even gag me so that I was totally helpless in your grasp. In some of my fantasies you would blindfold me and then bring in someone else, man or woman, to help you tease me. And in return I would try to fulfill you, or them, as the case may be." She stopped talking, concentrating on herself. Her voice faded to moans as he brought her over the edge. It was a satisfactory orgasm, but not complete. Somehow, in the light of her fantasies, it paled in comparison... * * * * * * * * She could not see, due to the blindfold over her eyes. Nor could she move, as her wrists were attached to the corners of the doorframe, held there by strong, soft restraints. Her ankles, too, were tied separately to the same rings, though they were hung so that her toes just barely touched the floor. Her mouth was filled by a large, rubber ball- gag, allowing her only the slightest of sounds. And her ears were covered by headphones which played soft jazz continually. She could do nothing, yet she felt everything. Every touch, every breeze, magnified on her naked body by the loss of her other senses. She hung in the center of the doorframe, tense, the muscles in every part of her body tightening in anticipation. The tention built, and she could feel her nerves getting frayed with the wait. Finally, a touch. light finger brushing her breast. Her gasp, as the fingers tightened painfully over the nipple, muffled into the gag. The fingers vanish, and then she hung--again waiting. Suddenly a crash, feeling like a paddle against her bottom. She is uncertain as that she can neither hear or see it. Again the paddle strikes. The pain grows and spreads through her body as she attempts to avoid it. It comes down across her buttocs again and again, until she is crying freely into the blindfold. Then it stops, and gentle hands untie her. Smoothly, she is carried to the bed and held like a child. The gag and headphones are removed and soothing hands stroke her hair and body. Her cries turn to gasps, and a fierce arrousal comes out in her. Repeatedly, she is brought to the edge of orgasm and then held back. Finally, the hands bring her to cresendo, her world swirling violently around her as she cries out her relief. In that moment, everything is gone, the pain, the discomfort, everything. She looses herself to the sensations as the dizziness of ecstacy overtakes her. Content, she relaxes, reaching out to stroke her unseen lover in greatfull appreciation.