Marcia fixed us both some lunch, a light salad. Ordinarily she would have offered me more, I realised as I was eating. We began to chat about the dinner Marcia was planning to cook for some friends next Friday evening while her parents were away. Most of the kids at school would have just had a big, raucous party, but Marcia had decided she wanted to do something elegant, so she was holding a dinner party for her three best girlfriends from school and they were each inviting a boy. I had kind of hoped when she mentioned she was doing it that she might have asked me, but of course she was going to ask Mike, the captain of the football team who Marcia was quietly keen on. As we talked, Marcia kept joking with me about how wonderful I looked, about how I looked much better than I did as a boy. At first it was kind of subtle, but then it started to get under my skin. Dammit, I was a boy, and I mightn't have been some muscle-clad jock like her brother but I wasn't a total failure at it. Things would change in a year or two, I knew they would. My hormones just hadn't got into action properly yet. "So, come here often?", she asked jokingly. "No, I'm the shy and retiring type", I said. "Yeah, right", said Marcia. "The way you look, you'd be a big hit anywhere". I wondered about that last comment. She wasn't thinking I was going outside like this, was she? That wasn't part of the deal. "When are your parents due home?", I asked, suddenly conscious of the time. "Oh, not until at least five", Marcia said. "Unless Dad gets impulsive and buys something sooner". I must have looked perturbed because she immediately added "but you know him, he researches everything to within an inch of its life" "Well, I should get changed anyway", I said, standing up and taking our plates across to the dishwasher. "Not so fast", said Marcia. As I turned around she was holding a camera. She opened the cover, aimed it at me, and squeezed the button. The flash dazzled me, then dazzled me again. As she took photo after photo I began striking poses. I did a particularly vampy look by the doorway to the living room, then Marcia had me lie on the rug near the fireplace and try to look sexy. "You do know how to look sexy, don't you?", she said, laughing. I grabbed the camera from her and took a snap of her as she laughed, and then she grabbed it back from me and we began to wrestle to see who could get control of it. We were laughing and rolling on the floor when I suddenly became aware that someone had just walked through the room. Marcia sensed it, too, because she stopped attacking me and called out "Hello?". Rob stuck his head back around through the door he'd just left through. "Hey Sis, you looked like you were busy so I didn't interrupt" He was being sarcastic. I always thought Rob acted like a jerk toward Marcia, but I guess she gave as good as she got. "I thought you were out with Tania" "She had a headache. Can you believe it?", said Rob. Marcia exchanged glances with me, like "of course she had a headache, wouldn't you?". I didn't respond, I was rigid with fear as I realised that Rob was going to have this little adventure of Marcia's and mine all over school by lunchtime Monday. Actually, make that tomorrow, he'd make a point of ringing everyone he knew just to tell them. But Rob was still hanging in the doorway, looking at the two of us. Finally he said to Marcia "Well?" "Well what", she said. "Aren't you gonna introduce me to your friend?" "I thought you were too busy to stop and say hi", Marcia shot back quickly. "But you're right. This is Jenny. Jenny, my adorable brother Rob." I couldn't believe it. He didn't recognise me? This was too much. Sure, we didn't see a lot of one another, but I lived next door! I looked different, but how different? "Nice to meet you, Jenny" said Rob. All of a sudden I became aware of the way he was looking at me. I'd never been looked at that way before, and I wasn't sure I liked it. "Uh, yeah. Hi" I said, in what must have sounded a very flat voice. Rob looked momentarily disappointed, and then disappeared from the doorway again. Marcia and I heard him going up the stairs, and then finally could hold it no longer and burst out laughing. If he heard us he must have assumed we were laughing at something to do with him, because he didn't come back. "That was great!' said Marcia "That was weird!" I said. "Really. How dumb is your brother?" Marcia kept laughing. "Chris, this has made my year." "Speaking of which", I said, "What's with this name 'Jenny"?" "It was just the first name that popped into my head. I don't know. I suppose it was a better choice than your real name". We both laughed again. "He has to figure it out", I said. Nobody can be that stupid". "No, it makes sense", said Marcia. "His brain wasn't working. His first response when he saw you properly was to think sex". I swallowed, not wanting to think about that. "So he didn't figure that he knew you, he invented a whole new space for you in his head". She paused, then laughed again and added "The one marked 'babes'". "I'm thinking this is getting a bit too strange", I said, suddenly anxious again. "I need to get changed, Marcia. Now". "Well, I don't think you can do it here, with Rob in the house" said Marcia. She had a point. But I didn't want to hang around and give Rob a choice to see more of me. I said so to Marcia, and she agreed that he'd probably figure it out eventually if he had a chance to talk to me. "We could go out", said Marcia. "No way", I retorted. "Besides, he'll still be here when we come back". "Well, if we stay here he's going to figure it out for sure, eventually. I mean, you look really different, but you still talk like Chris, and you move like a boy" "So what do we do?" "I think we should call Becky and see if you can change at her place". I wasn't sure about that. Becky was a friend of Marcia's from school. She always seemed nice the few times I'd met her, but I really didn't know her too well and wasn't sure this was a way I wanted to present myself to her. But Marcia was up and at the phone. "It's busy", she said. "Well, at least that means she's home. Come on, let's get out of here" Marcia went upstairs and returned with my clothes stuffed into a shopping bag, then ushered me out the door. "I told Rob we were headed to Becky's". "So how are we getting there?" "It's not so far, I figured we could walk. That's how I usually get there." Walking. I started to feel strange the minute we stepped out the door. Rob might be dumb, but I was sure everyone else was going to see straight through me and see a guy in a skirt. What if a cop car cruised past as we were walking? I didn't want to spend a night in jail. As we walked down the path to the street I was feeling like I was going to throw up, I was so nervous. Fortunately we turned left to go to Becky's so we didn't have to walk past the front of my house - I don't think I could have done that under any circumstances. I was starting to get kind of mad with Marcia. Whenever I let her talk me into a bit of "fun" things always went slightly wrong. This was just one more example, I guess. Here I was, in broad daylight, wearing a skirt down the street I lived in. After about ten minutes of walking we turned into the main street. Santa Rosita is mostly an old town, and there's been a community effort to maintain the old buildings. So although there's a mall on the outskirts of town there's still a lot of stores and traffic in the centre of town too. Cars were cruising past us slowly as we walked, but the occasional shopper paid us no attention as we passed. Still, after a few moments Marcia looked across at me and made me stop walking. "You've got to learn to walk differently", she said. She explained that I was still moving like a guy, that women moved differently. I more or less knew what she was saying, I just hadn't thought about it. I was gonna argue with her that I was only gonna be dressed as a girl for a few more minutes, but I felt very self-conscious of myself out there on the street, so I did what she told me and we walked on, me swinging my arms a little more and standing a bit straighter. "That's much better", she said. It did feel better, actually. Then Marcia stopped at the door to a little antique store. "What's up?", I said. "Let's go". But Marcia was looking at an old pair of earrings in a cabinet just inside the store. "Quiet" she said, "or people will notice". I was agitated, but I did as she asked. As we walked on, she said "Chris, if you're gonna talk you have to make your voice a little musical, like girls do." "Musical?" "Yeah, less of a monotone". She demonstrated a sentence the way she would say it, then tried to imitate me, which cracked me up. "That's better, you're smiling again", Marcia said. "You haven't done that since we left the house". She made me try saying some things more 'musically' as we walked, corrected me when I got too sing-song, and eventually pronounced "that's better - still not exactly right, but much better". I started to feel a little more confident. We'd walked past lots of Saturday afternoon shoppers, and none of them had stared at us. I'd had a couple of glances from a few guys, like the kind that Rob had given me, but it seemed they actually thought I was a girl. So I stopped panicking about everything, and as Marcia and I walked on and we began talking about the new Aaron Spelling show that had started the week before I began to forget that what I was doing was kind of freaky. "I think you've got the voice thing down," Marcia said. That's when the car stopped next to us. Driving it was Mike, the guy Marcia was keen on. There was another guy in the passenger seat. I thought I'd seen him at school, but I wasn't sure. "Hey, Marcia", Mike called. We stopped walking. Marcia went over to the car, and I followed a few steps behind. "What's happening?" Mike asked. Marcia explained that we were just on our way over to Becky's place, and Mike suggested that they could drive us. I was trying to smile and shake my head 'no' at the same time, but Marcia wasn't paying too much attention to me anyway. She agreed, and opened the back door to the car. I hesitated before getting in - I didn't know these guys, but I guess Marcia knew Mike well enough. I got in, trying to smooth my skirt under me as I sat down, to see Mike twisting around in the driver's seat to say hello. I could see him sizing me up in that same way I'd already experienced with the other men who'd looked at me. "Uh, Mike, Paul, this is Jenny", said Marcia. She was still going along with it. That made sense, I guess. I knew she trusted Mike, but who knows how this Paul would have reacted to finding a boy in a skirt in the back of the car. I couldn't really see him properly, just the back of his head. He half twisted around and he and Mike said "Hi Jenny" almost in unison. "Nice to meet you", I said, trying to keep my voice "musical" as Marcia had suggested. I had to admit it sounded better than the time I spoke to Rob. Marcia gave me a smile and a little nod of approval. We drove off, and Mike and Marcia did all the talking, about the two parties that were on tonight and which one was the better to go to. Very soon we were at Becky's, and as we thanked the boys and were climbing out of the car Mike said to Marcia, "so, tonight at 7.30?". Then Paul turned to me and said "How about you, Jenny? There's a few of us going to this party. Want to come along?" I was about to say no when Marcia said "Cool. Why don't you pick us both up from my place?" I was stunned. The boys pulled out of the drive and roared away as Marcia and I walked to the front door. "What was that about?", I demanded. "It was easier than making excuses. You don't have to come, I can say you had a headache or something. Anyway, it's not like it's a date or anything, it's just a bunch of us going to a party". Marcia rang the doorbell. "Hey, do me a favor and wing it with Becky, okay? Then you can get changed". I was still trying to work out why Marcia had included me in the evening's plans. There was no way that I'd be invited, or welcome, as Chris. Everyone at the party would be older than me, and they'd be part of the inner circle that surrounded the football team and the girls that dated them. Anyone who was geeky, like me, would definitely not be invited. I'd never been to one of those kind of parties. Still, there was no way I was going to go as Jenny. That would be just way too strange. Becky opened the door, and Marcia introduced me and said we were passing and thought we'd see how she was doing, but we couldn't get her on the 'phone. Becky invited us in, apologising 'cause she'd been on the 'phone to another friend. And she just hated call waiting, she thought it was so rude to interrupt someone just because there was another call. I was amazed once again. Clearly she didn't get it, either. She chattered on to Marcia for a minute, then turned to me and said "I haven't seen you around town before, Jenny. What brings you to Santa Rosita?" Marcia, always quicker than me, jumped in. "She's just visiting. Her family's thinking of moving here, and they came to check the place out". Where did she get this stuff from? "Well, hope you like it," Becky smiled. "We think it's a bit of a snooze, but mostly it's okay". I looked across at Marcia. We had come here for a purpose, and she'd had her fun with Becky, now was the time to put an end to this. I tried to catch her eye, but she and Becky were babbling on about someone I didn't catch, so I sat back and waited for Marcia to get the hint. In a few minutes I was drawn into the conversation, too. They were, of course, talking about boys, and Becky asked me what I thought of Paul, the guy who'd been in the car with Mike. I replied that I didn't really know him yet, and Becky looked at me kind of strangely and said, "No, I meant the way he looks" "Oh", I said, trying to recover. I hadn't given that any thought at all. Good, I supposed, if you liked a lot of muscle. "Great. Maybe a little on the heavy side." "Jenny likes the scrawny ones", said Marcia, laughing. I scowled. We talked on. Apparently Marcia now had no intention of telling Becky. I tried to give her a few signals, but mostly I just enjoyed sitting and talking. I liked Becky, she was funny, kind of in a sarcastic way which made me think of how she could cut someone down with a few words if she wanted to, but I could sense she was a good person inside, she liked to laugh at so many things. She wasn't exactly pretty, at least not in a conventional sense, because she affected something of a Goth look, kind of 'Goth-lite' as Marcia called it. But she sure was striking with her dark hair and pale skin and full red lips. And she had a great figure. Finally I could sense that Marcia was going to tell Becky, and all this would be over. It was pretty late now, after 5.30, and I had had enough. Well, actually I really enjoyed the conversation, and the chance to hang out with Becky, and apart from the sheer terror of being out in public I'd had more fun with Marcia than I'd had in ages. I wasn't really having to think about the way I talked and walked and moved and stuff, but a little part of me was exhausted from all the tension and I needed to stop. Eventually Marcia said to Becky "So, have you noticed anything weird today" "Apart from Denise Convey inviting me to her party tonight, you mean? No." Marcia was just beginning to speak when we heard the front door open, and Becky's parents entered. Great. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry as I was introduced to both of them. Becky then said "wow, look at the time". It was almost 6.00 Marcia stood up. "Time for us to move ourselves on, Jenny. Mind if I use the bathroom, Becky?" "Knock yourself out, but hurry. I gotta get ready, Brad's taking me for a bite to eat before the party", Becky said, as Marcia went off to the bathroom. "Do you girls need a lift home?", Becky's Dad asked me. "Oh, don't worry Mr Connor", I started to say, but he maintained it was no trouble and in a few minutes Marcia and I were in his Lexus and headed down Main Street back the way we'd come earlier in the day. When we pulled up outside Marcia's place we thanked him and began to walk up the drive toward her house as he pulled away. "Geez, well that was a really productive trip to Becky's", I said sarcastically. Marcia looked slightly wounded. "Well, after we got there and got to talking, I don't know, I just seemed to forget about it for a while. You make a terrific girl, you know that? I had a great time, and so did Becky. I almost wish you were always a girl, it's fun". I honestly didn't know what to say to that. Did she mean she didn't like me as a guy? She must have noticed my expression, because she continued "not that I don't have a great time with you as Chris. But today's been fun, hasn't it? And you are very good at being a girl, you have to admit that". I sighed. I had enjoyed it. But now I was still trapped. "Maybe I can jump the fence and climb through a window", I said, looking across at my house, but I knew there was little chance of that. Mom had gone through a security phase after dad left and installed extra locks on the windows. "Let's just tough it out", I finally said to Marcia. "I know Rob is gonna spread it right through the school when he finds out, but I don't see what else we can do. I mean, I can't just go home like this, my mother would freak completely." We walked in to Marcia's house through the kitchen door. Her father was getting ice from the refrigerator for some drinks. "Hi Dad", said Marcia. "Hi Hon", her father said. "How was your day. This must be Jenny" Both of us looked at him blankly. "Rob mentioned you were together," he said. "It is Jenny, isn't it?" "Um, yes", I squeaked. "We have to get ready for the party tonight", said Marcia, leading me by the hand through the kitchen. "Nice to meet you, Mr Wilson", I said in what I hoped sounded like a sweet voice as Jenny pulled me into the living room. Mrs Wilson was sitting with her back to us, reading a magazine. "Hi Mom", Marcia said as she half-dragged me through the room. "we're just going upstairs to change for the party". Marcia's Mom twisted in the chair to look at us, but only caught a glimpse as we left through the door to the hallway and the stairs. "That's nice", she called vaguely. We got to the top of the stairs, to see Rob coming out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. I had to admit I was impressed by his body, he obviously worked out a lot to keep it in that shape. He looked me up and down again and said "Hi Sis, hi Jenny. How you doin'." "Fine," said Marcia, trying to lead me past him on the landing. "You going to the Convey party tonight", he asked Marcia. "Yes. Mike's taking me." Marcia said. "You're not, are you?" "Well, I haven't got an invite, but since Tania's sick tonight I thought maybe me and the boys might head up there later on" Yeah, I'm sure all the seniors are just gonna love that", said Marcia sarcastically as we reached her room and went inside. Once again we collapsed with laughter. "This is great", said Marcia. "Jenny, I can't believe how wild this is". She'd called me Jenny when we were alone. I let it pass. I was laughing, too. I couldn't figure it out. Were these people really stupid, or what? But then I saw myself in Marcia's mirror again I stopped laughing. It was true. I did look like someone different. I wasn't sure how I'd ever get to look like the old me. Was I going to have to shave my head, or what? We sat on Marcia's bed, trying to work out what I was going to do that night. Clearly I couldn't change and leave as Chris, because the Wilson's were expecting to see Jenny leave. Then I realised. The clothes! "Where are the clothes?". "What clothes?" "My clothes" We'd had them in a shopping bag when we left Marcia's house. "Uh, did you take them out of the car when we got to Becky's?" They were still in Mike's car. God only knew what he'd think when he found them there. I lay down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling, trying to work out how this had gone so totally out of control. I couldn't change back if I wanted to. Now I had to go home like this. For a few minutes neither of us spoke. Then Marcia lay back on the bed beside me, and began stroking my arm. "I'm sorry", she said. "I kind of got you into this". "There's not too much 'kind of' about it" I said, and then regretted it. It wasn't really Marcia's fault. I'd gone along with everything. I'd even had fun. "I guess if I stay out late I can go home when Mom's already asleep and she won't notice". "So, what are you going to do until then?" "I could stay here". "No, my parents would think that was strange. I think you better come to the party with me". "Unh unh. No way. I'm not cut out for going to those kind of parties as a guy, I definitely couldn't handle it as a girl " "Actually, I think you could handle it much better". Marcia's voice had gotten low, and she moved from stroking my arm to touching my neck. It felt very soothing as I lay there. She raised herself on the bed a little and leant over me. "Jenny, don't take this the wrong way, but I think this was really good, what we did today. Don't you?" "I enjoyed it", I admitted without thinking. Oh God! What was I saying! I tried to roll over away from her, but her hand on my shoulder stopped me. She kissed me lightly on the forehead and laid me back down. "It's okay, I knew you would", Marcia said. She was right. She'd known this would feel good for me. Had she planned it? No, that wasn't so important. The bigger question was, why did it feel right? "Oh, God. Marcia, am I weird?" "No hon, I think everybody needs to do some exploring some time." She was back to stroking my throat. "Think of it that way, it's just a bit of exploring." And then she kissed me on the lips. I'd never been kissed on the lips before. Ever. I mean, I've never been able to attract girls, so there's never been any opportunity. Marcia's kiss was gentle and sweet, not too long but warm and soft, and it kind of did something to me. I just lay there and let her do it. She lifted her head a little and smiled at me. "I've never kissed a girl before", she said. "Neither have I", I said without thinking. I was going to have to watch what I said more. "I mean, I'm not a girl" "You look like one", Marcia said. "But maybe that's why I did it, 'cause you look like one but you're not". I reached up to her, but she pulled her head back further. She continued stroking my neck. "You're a good friend", she said softly. "Maybe my best friend. Let's not complicate this too much". I was disappointed. She had started this. But she was right. I didn't want to complicate things with Marcia, of all people. She wasn't just my best friend, she was one of my only friends. "Okay" I said. Then I got up off the bed. "May as well make the best of the rest of the evening". "Say what?" "Well, if I'm stuck in these clothes, and can't go home 'til late, let's do something. I can't very well walk the streets waiting until my Mom goes to sleep, can I? I'll have to stay with you." "So you'll come to the party?", Marcia said, getting up from the bed and holding my hands. "I guess so. Nobody will know me there anyway. I may as well take this as far as it can go", I said. A little voice inside me told me I was making an enormous mistake. Marcia hugged me tight, and tried to jump us both up and down. "Yippee", she squealed. "This is gonna be lots of fun. You won't regret it." She went over to her wardrobe and began to sort through her clothes, looking for something. "I'm gonna make you look great", she said. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?", I asked. "it seems to have worked pretty well so far". "No, this is a party. You want something ... exciting", said Marcia.