Jan V. - Dear Diary (Ff) - 2nd try February, 16th Dear Diary Here I am alone in this big house with nothing to do and waiting for my rich Dad to come home. Jarvis will take care of me, no doubt, but what a thirteen-year-old can do with a white haired sixty-five year-old man with and an embarrassing stutter? I have no friends, because I hate everybody. They are always after my money, or so my "precious" Daddy tells me. Yes, you may think I am a bitch, but I don't give a fuck about what you may think of me. I am a spoiled, stupid brat and I am behaving the way Dad and his stupid friends expect. ---------------- February, 17th Dear Diary Today I really messed up my dad's party... and broke all the kitchenware there was to break. Jarvis ratted on me, and I was confined to my room the whole day, which suited me fine. I don't want to see anyone, anyway. Lisa called and we talked for hours. She says her father and brother are abusing her, but I know she likes to shock people. She's a bit like me... rich, young, and without much to do. She says she's got a boyfriend, but I know better... her boyfriend is her right hand. ---------------- February, 18th Dear Diary I am really bored, and so I went out. This time I went to the mall, and using Dad's credit card I bought five new dresses and two pairs of leather boots. When I wear sunglasses and the dresses of my late mom, everybody thinks that I am sixteen, at least. Would you want a better proof of how stupid people are? I tried out my new dresses. Most of them are high-hemmed, because I like to show off my legs. Sometimes I masturbate in front of the mirror, because I like my own body and my own figure. I love the way I look, my long blond hair, and my big blue eyes... Maybe I am just crazy by writing this down... but maybe I just miss my mom. I hate her, I hate her, I hate her... because she's dead, dead and buried... She let herself killed in a car accident on her way back from her lover's house. Dad knew it and didn't care about it... Sometimes I wonder if I am really his daughter. ----------------- February, 19th Dear Diary Today Dad told me something extraordinary. My mother's sister is going to pay us a visit. I told him I didn't know that mom had a sister. Dad laughed mysteriously and just went out of the room without saying a word. I went after him, but he just laughed even harder. What the hell is happening to him? Maybe he just went crazy... After all, they say that madness runs in the family. ------------------ February, 20th Dear Diary Against my will I went with Jarvis and Dad to the airport. I begged to be left alone but my stupid father made me get dressed and wait for my aunt at the airport. We waited for an eternity, it seemed. My father screamed at me and told me to shut up, because I didn't stop saying, "I hate aunts, I hate aunts, I hate AUNTS!!!!!" Jarvis sent me a dirty look, but I just shrugged and wheeled away from the gate where my aunt was supposed to come through. I went to the airport cafeteria and bought myself a strawberry ice cream. I licked it slowly and noticed that an old guy was looking at me. I feigned surprise and looked at him questioningly. At first he seemed embarrassed but then he chickened out and looked away. Why are men such cowards? I returned to where Jarvis and Dad were and a pretty young thing was talking to them. I thought that it was one of Dad's girlfriends, but that pretty young thing was Sofia, my aunt, Mom's sister. She looked a lot like my mom. Jesus, she really looked a lot like me!!!!!!!!!!!! --------------------- February, 21st Dear Diary I really hate Aunt Sofia! I bet she's trying to seduce my dad and become my mother. I don't need a second mom, I just need to be left alone. Dad is always around Sofia, as if he's in love with her! Jiiikeessss!!!!! I hate him when he's like that. My father is the most irresponsible person I know. He only thinks with his dick and one day he will regret it. --------------------- February, 22nd Dear Diary Sofia came to my room today because I was feeling kind of sick. She sat on my bed and looked down at me and smiled. It was a pretty smile... and I had to look away and hold back the tears. She reminded me of my mom. I hate her for it. I felt her delicate hand on my forehead and could smell Eau de Rose, my mother's favorite fragrance. She took my temperature - in spite of my protests - and with a calm voice let me know that I had some fever but didn't seem anything serious. I asked, "How do you know?" She looked at me with surprise, and as if something remarkable had happened she arched up her almost invisible blond brows. She said, "Oh, you talk. That's a progress." -------------------- February, 23rd Dear Diary Last night Sofia read me out loud the book she was reading. It was called "The Nightingale". It was a story of a nightingale who lived in a golden cage. He was not a happy bird, and so he could not sing. His master, the Chinese emperor, asked his most respected advisor what he should do. The advisor said, "Your Highness, set him free, and he will sing." The emperor told him, "But if I free him he will die. He cannot find food for himself." Then the advisor said, "Your Highness, foolish are the men who imprisoned this bird. They should have known that only happy birds can sing..." Sofia's head rose from the book and asked, "Are you a happy bird?" I smiled but couldn't say a word. I was wrong about Sofia. She had rebuffed all my father's advances and instead she seemed to prefer my company to his. I asked her if she had a boyfriend and, surprisingly, she shook her head. "No, no boyfriends," she said. Then I said, "Why not? You are too beautiful for not having a boyfriend." She laughed and turned to me, "Oh really? I didn't know that." She looked serious, but I knew she wasn't. I could recognize my mom's kind of humor, so we both laughed, Sofia and I. -------------------- February, 24th Dear Diary I start to think that my aunt's coming was not such a bad idea after all. She's really fun to be with. I guess I hadn't this much fun since my mother died. Even old Jarvis seems in love with her. He blushed like a teenager when I confronted him with it before Sofia and Dad. Sofia seemed amused, but not Precious Daddy. --------------------- February, 25th Dear Diary Sofia and I went for a long walk in the park that surrounds our house. I showed her the horses and the sheep. She asked me if I rode and I told her I was too afraid of those stupid beasts. She asked me why. I told her about the bad fall when I was eight. My Dad wanted to show off his little daughter to his friends, but the horse, sensing my own nervousness, threw me down without any remorse... the bastard. (I mean Dad, not the horse!) ------------------- February, 26th Dear Diary Sofia told us she might leave us for a while but she would be back next week. I couldn't believe she was such a bitch! Now she's leaving, precisely when I having the most fun. I begged her to take me with her, but for a moment she hesitated, then said, "Do you really want to come with me?" "Yes, yes, more than anything," I replied. She smiled and looked at Dad. "And you, brother... do you trust me with your precious daughter?" With a smirk, he said, "Are you sure you want to bring along the little devil?" His hands slid around her slender waist, but laughing she removed his hands and said, "Little devils are what I do for a living, remember?" ------------------- February, 27th Dear Diary I am so happy that I am going with Sofia and away from dad's depressing house. I always found this house too somber, too big for me. I felt lost inside it, and I am glad I am leaving it all behind, including old Jarvis' ranting. Sofia explained she's an intern in a major hospital in the country and when she grows older she wants to become a pediatrician and begin her own practice. I asked her how come she was so young, her being my aunt and all. She said that her parents hadn't planned her. She was an "accident", they told her, but she didn't seem very happy when she spoke those words. ------------------- February, 28th Dear Diary We finally left the house and flew over to Chicago. The streets are paved with snow and the cold makes the tip of my fingers and nose numb. But I don't care, because Sofia makes me forget all that. I enjoy being with her because I don't seem like I am burden to her. The way I am makes her laugh and she tells me that I remind her of her sister. She grew very quiet and serious. I noticed she began to cry, so I came close and threw my arms around her. She wiped the tears away and gave me a hug back, laughing her sadness away, in spite of herself. She gave me a kiss on the forehead and, without thinking, I kissed her on the lips. She smiled weakly and whispered, "Thank you." ------------------ March, 1st Dear Diary I didn't know what came over me to kiss her like that, but for the first time in my life I feel that someone really loves me... She is so patient with me, even if I scream at her and behave the way I used to with my dad and his friends. She never raises her voice, she only pleads for me to stop. She makes this sad expression when I become the little devil that my dad knows so well, and then I lose all my will to make her life miserable. ------------------- March, 2nd Dear Diary Today I learned the reason why Sofia hasn't got a boyfriend... Sofia has a girlfriend! She's a goddamned lesbo! That makes me sick. Now I understand why she was never introduced to me... They were afraid that she was going to corrupt me... Ah! Maybe *I* am the one who's going to corrupt *her*. Mom, it was her who kept her own sister away from Dad and me, I'm sure of it. Gloria, Sofia's girlfriend, is ugly like hell, although she thinks herself very pretty, the bitch. She is also an intern at the hospital where Sofia works. Gloria likes to tease me and asked me if I knew what the word "lesbian" meant. I told her to fuck off and leave us alone. ------------------- March, 3rd Dear Diary I really I am mad at Sofia and her stupid girlfriend. Since Gloria is with her Sofia has changed. She treats me like a child now, and I am almost an adult. I devised a little scheme to make Gloria go away, but the stupid bitch found out and hit me across the face. I, in turn, scratched her face with my fingernails and the end result was not a pretty one. Gloria left crying and told Sofia to get rid of me, or she wouldn't be coming back. Sofia was really pissed, but I just shrugged the whole thing off. I said that Gloria was the one to blame - she shouldn't have hit me. Then Sofia said, "Now I understand your father when he says that you are a little devil. I have seen many kids in my own life, but never have I seen a kid like you." Innocently as could be, I said, "Is that good or bad?" She huffed and stormed out of her apartment, while I spread myself on her comfortable couch and began to masturbate. When I do that, I usually think about the BSB guys or a band like that... but not today... today I daydreamed about Sofia and how she would make love to me, to my body, my nipples and my cunt. I like to rub my pussy hard when I am this excited and I come in no time. I felt the pleasure oozing out of me as if I was in paradise. Today I really felt good about myself. -------------------- March, 4th Dear Diary Last night Sofia and I had a long talk until I apologized and she hugged me. We remained like that for a while. When she asked me what I did when she was away, I told her the truth... that I had played with myself and had fantasized about her. "What?" she said. She seemed shocked with the idea of her niece having sexual thoughts about her. I lowered my voice and whispered into her ear, "You make me hot." Sofia jumped out of my bed. She tried to speak but no words came out of her mouth. She just left my room in a seemingly great state of shock. Today, I haven't seen her. She left her apartment very early to do stuff and hasn't returned. What's wrong with her, anyway? Can't she take it? I thought she was tougher than she really is. -------------------- March, 5th Dear Diary Sofia only returned late last night. She looked less nervous, somewhat tired, I'd say. I asked her if she'd been with Gloria, but she was not in the mood to talk about it. She dismissed me and went to her room. I followed her and knocked, and because she didn't reply I opened the door and came in. She told me to leave but I refused. She screamed at me and I yelled back. Realizing that I was dead serious, she just let herself fall on her bed spread-eagled. I sat next to her and saw that she was crying. Then she told me that Gloria had broken up with her. Silently, I spread myself on top of her and asked her to hold me. We remained like that for I don't know how many hours. The only thing I know is that I liked to be lying on her like that, feeling her body and breathing in the sweet way she smells. And again I looked at her and she looked at me, then I kissed her, slowly, on her lips. Because she didn't fight me, I began to kiss her more vigorously. When my lips went to her neck, she made me stop and asked, "Where did you learn all that?" "What?" I said. "I mean, to make love like that," she said. Then she continued, "You're a thirteen year old... When I was your age, and that hasn't been that long a time, I didn't swear or knew how to kiss like that and touch the breasts of another woman like you did." I smiled and said, "Dad's got cable... you don't know how much you can learn when you watch cable." ---------------------- March, 6th Dear Diary Sofia and I are pals again. She took me to the mall and went to a shopping spree. She bought me new clothes and a pajama. When we came back to her apartment and she closed the door, I threw my hands around her neck and kissed her sweet mouth. Once again she let me do it, my tongue playing with hers. I was thirsty for her kisses, so I made her set down her bags. After some insistence, we went to her couch and I kissed her more intently. I knew she had some doubts about what we're doing, my being her niece and all, but the power of my sexuality seemed to take over. She closed her eyes and little by little she let herself go. I kissed her neck and my hand felt her breasts, full and inviting. I opened her blouse, not without some protesting, and slid my fingers under her bra. She began to writhe a little, which was a good sign. I kissed her in between her boobs and breathed in deeply, my sense of smell heightened by all this intoxicating experience. I kissed her again, and she moaned and whispered my name, "Maria", over and over again. I got rid of her and my own clothes and we slid under the sheets. I never felt this powerful with anyone. Making love to her, to a grown up woman... to my aunt. This was unreal. I loved her slender body and nipples, while she contorted as if she was being tortured. She moaned like hell when my tongue went down her body, going for her pussy. My fingers began to fuck her, like I had seen in some porno movies, and then she went wild. She begged me for more and more. She came silently, unlike those movies I'd seen, where the women moan each other's ears out. She just hugged me tighter when the wave of pleasure washed over her. We lay on each other's arms for a while, then she gave me a soul kiss. She promised me she would show me a few tricks tonight, so I really can't wait for when tonight comes.