Hear

I could believe that it was happening since it was written up in more than one
article and featured on various TV reports: college women embracing
bisexuality--using their time away at college as an opportunity to experiment or
to develop relationships to keep them safely satisfied.  Not that I'd seen signs
of it: my campus wouldn't be in the forefront of such trends, and most of all,
people tend to keep things like that from me.

It's not just that I'm a straight-arrow: I seem to send out straight-arrow
signals to everyone I come in contact with. Somehow they look at me and just

*know* I'm not a person with which to engage in questionable practices.  And it's
ironic: yes I grew up in a conservative household, but inside, I'm not that
conservative at all.

And the idea of bisexuality intrigued me.  The idea that some of the women I
lived with were quietly pairing off.  Trying something new and different. And
most of all, I must admit, I did feel some attraction to women.  I'd discovered
my attraction while watching some sexier scenes in movies (no, not X-rated
movies; just noticing the women in some of your plain-old R-rated heterosexual
love scenes).  Once discovered, I'd realized some fashion models held that kind
of fascination for me, and eventually I admitted to myself that women I'd seen
and knew could affect me.  Not that I'm not basically heterosexual, but I *did*
start thinking, and from all I heard, college is the time to give it a try.

What an idea!  I mean, for me!  I *am* a straight-arrow in many ways: never been
with a man if you know what I mean; date very little.  Not really outgoing.  And
here I was, contemplating the idea of actually finding and forming a relationship
with a woman! How would I do it?  Ask someone I knew?

I couldn't imagine it.  Go to some obviously-Lesbian gathering? Like a bar?

That wasn't what I was looking for.  This was going to be hard. One way or
another, I was going to have to overcome my natural reserve, at some point. I
thought about all the women I knew.  I thought about what sort of person I was
interested in.  It would be nice if I found someone exactly like myself: a woman
who wasn't outgoing and didn't go out much, but on the inside, wasn't as
conservative as she appeared.  Someone who I could share the experience with, in
confidence.

And the problem was, how would two such less-than-outgoing people find each
other?  Was I going to start finding quiet women and bring up the subject of a
Lesbian relationship?  And though I *know* there must be other women similar to
myself, since I don't talk to that many people, I'd be unlikely to discover them,
and even if I did, how would I make friends with someone as reserved as me?

I finally decided that finding and approaching another reserved woman just wasn't
practical. I needed someone who would take the lead.  Or someone to help me.  Set
me up?  Or at least someone sympathetic that I could talk about it to.  Someone
nice, who was engaging in such a relationship.

I thought about the women I knew again.  Who was most likely to be in such a
relationship?  And again, with enough thought, I had my answer: Leslie Brown.

She was definitely outgoing.  I'd once noticed her with a woman and wondered
about the two of them, but more than that, she had the right kind of personality
for this.  She had that combination that I needed: someone who I could feel
comfortable talking to and someone who certainly would know what was going on.

All I needed was some unobtrusive way to bring up the subject with Leslie.  After
more thought, I settled on trying to casually ask her if some other pair of women
were engaging in something.  I started spending more time with her, actually
hanging on her a little, and eventually one day as we were walking back from
supper, I managed to comment on two women I'd seen together a bit.

"Rebecca and Janet?" she responded.  She looked at me for a couple of seconds as
we walked, not saying anything more.

Finally I had to fill the silence.  "I just wondered."

I glanced at her.  She was eyeing me sidelong as we walked and she was smiling. 
At me?  It seemed like a knowing smile.  I suddenly felt a lump in my throat.  "I
know why you brought that up," she finally said.

I fought panic for a split second, but then managed to relax.  No she didn't.

"Never mind," I said, afraid I was going to lose my voice or something.

"You're thinking about doing it yourself, aren't you?"

"No!" I sort of squeaked.

"Yes you are: you've wondered what it would be like but you're too shy to
approach anyone.  Right?"

I was silent.  Stunned, actually.  This wasn't going as I'd planned at all!  She
giggled.  "You *are* pretty transparent, you know."  I hoped not everyone saw
through me so easily!  "I'll tell you who you should talk to."

"Listen, I didn't mean..."

"Yes you did.  You should talk to Sherry Davis."  Sherry Davis. My mind raced. 
Sherry was not a reserved person at all.  I suppose I might have chosen to try to
bring it up with *her* but she wasn't nearly so approachable as Leslie.  Sherry
tended to make me feel more nervous.

*Why Sherry?*  I should have asked that question of Leslie right then, but I was
very nervous and when I'm nervous, I get quiet. And I wasn't about to confirm
Leslie's suspicions.  Ha!  As if going mute was going to hide anything.

Was Sherry interested in women?  *I'd* certainly had no inkling- -she certainly 
*was* interested in men, and didn't lack a social life.  Me approach Sherry about
this?  No way!

I *didn't* approach Sherry.  "Claire," she said the next day as I passed her dorm
room.

"Yes?"  Sherry never talked to me much, but even so, I wasn't suspicious about
anything yet.

"Come here a second."  I came in and she closed the door behind me.  We were
alone.  Then suddenly my mind was fantasizing a conversation about me between her
and Leslie.  I was ready to die.

She smiled at me.  "Leslie tells me you're interested in trying it with a woman."

I kept myself in control.  Sometimes I can act.  I badly didn't want to stand
there like an idiot.  "She's one to jump to conclusions," I said, with what I
hoped was the right combination of amusement and confidence.

"Correct ones, for the most part," answered Sherry without batting an eye.  "She
knows I've tried it."

I wasn't going to bluff my way out.  I stared at Sherry, paralyzed.  And I
couldn't help it.  Was Sherry interested in me? Was I interested in her?  Yes,
she was attractive.  She wasn't... well, she *was* friendly in a way, but still
somehow she frightened me.  I couldn't imagine being *comfortable* around her.
"But she *doesn't* know..." she continued, "that I'm already *in* a such a
relationship."  By this time, I'm almost sure my mouth was hanging open.  She
smiled at me: a little friendlier smile than when I'd first entered, and I felt a
little more comfortable. And evidently she *wasn't* going to make a pass at me.

This was the first woman I'd known who had *told* me she'd done it.  Before this,
other than some women who were definitely Lesbian, I'd had a couple of
suspicions, but never had been *sure* that the women were doing anything!  I
couldn't help myself.  I was curious beyond belief.  "You'd like to know who,
wouldn't you?" she said.  When, once again, I couldn't voice my assent for fear
of looking nosey as well as being embarrassed, she went on: "Donna Strickland."

Donna Strickland.  Sherry was carrying on with Donna Stickland?  I didn't know
Donna too well--on thinking of it, I realized she was probably a bit shy like me.
 It was *really* hard to believe that Donna would be involved with anyone.
Especially Sherry:  Donna was a senior!  "You don't believe me, do you," said
Sherry.  "Are you going to say something?" she added.

"I... Donna?"

"Yes.  Listen: look at this."  She went to her dresser and looked through the
drawer.  "You can't tell *anyone* about this: especially *Donna*."  She brought
over a snapshot.  I stared at it.  It was Donna, lying on a bed.  Sherry's bed, I
realized: it was her bedspread.  Donna was up on her elbows, smiling at the
camera.  And she wasn't wearing anything but underpants!

"You didn't believe me, did you?" she went on.  "She's really something: a real
wildcat once you get underneath that reserved exterior.  I wonder if *you're*
like that?"  She paused.  "I'll bet you are.  If I weren't involved with Donna,
well we didn't really promise each other anything, she's actually straight and
some guy'll find out what she's *really* like some day and..."

She didn't finish, but finally started again.  "But I'd feel funny having *two*
relationships with women at the same time, and I'm sure she'd, well, not feel
good about it..."

I was still staring at the snapshot.  Donna, lying there like that.  Donna was
*doing* what I only *thought about*.  With Sherry who was two years younger than
her!  Sherry had stopped talking and I glanced up at her.  She was watching me. 
She smiled when I looked at her.  "Can't believe she'd pose like that, can you?"
she finally said.  "You're really interested in this, aren't you?"

"I'm sorry..." I started.  I felt so nosey.

She got a far-away look on her face.  "You'd be good, I *know* it." she finally
said, looking back at me.  "You know, we could, maybe, just one time..."  She
started approaching me.  I *knew*. She looked calm, first a fleeting smile, then
just a concerned look on her face.  I was sitting on her bed and she sat down
next to me and took the snapshot out of my hands. I knew what was coming.  I
certainly hadn't expected things to go like *this*. Me and Sherry?  She smiled. 
She hadn't touched me yet.  "Relax," she said, "I'll just massage your
shoulders."  She was behind me, quickly, but smoothly and her hands were on the
side of my neck. She was actually touching me!  With sexual intent!  I'm sure I
was as stiff as a statue.  She giggled a little.  "Don't worry, we won't get into
the whips and chains *this* time."

I *knew* she was joking.  I *must* have known.  "You didn't *believe* me, did
you?" she finally said, laughing.  "But listen, we *have* tried *this*."  She'd
hopped up and was in her drawer again.  She held up a pair of handcuffs! I
stared.  Donna Strickland playing with handcuffs with Sherry!  What did they do?
Did Sherry handcuff her?  In a moment, she was sitting behind me again, once
again working on my neck.  "Wondering about pretty little Donna?" she finally
said.  "You'd be surprised..."

"Listen, I don't know about this..." I finally said, finding my voice.

"I said, *relax*," she returned.  She didn't stop.  "*You* wanted to try it, and
you *know* that nervous as you are, you'll be just as nervous another time."  She
was good with my neck.  And my shoulders.  Then her hands were holding my
shoulders, gently but firmly and she kissed the back of my neck.  No one had ever
kissed me there before.  For some reason, I thought about her kissing Donna like
that.  Seducing Donna like that their first time.

And that was the beginning of it.  Last night, I sat leaning against the wall at
the head of Sherry's bed.  Between my legs sat Donna, leaning back against me,
her back against my body.  We were both completely naked and I had my hands
around her, holding her around the waist.  No, not on her breasts.  I felt a
momentary shaking of her body with nervousness and anticipation.  She held he
breath.  It was so amazing to be holding Donna like that.  Our bodies pressed
together.  Sherry stood in front of us, wearing just her bra and underpants.  She
smiled at us.  She was holding the handcuffs.  She climbed onto the bed, right in
front of Donna, who watched her approach.  Donna's body trembled.