Archive-name: Humour/doit.txt Archive-author: Archive-title: How They Do It's CANONICAL LIST OF 'HOW THEY DO IT's A king does it with his official seal. AI hackers do it with rules. AI hackers do it breast first. AI hackers make a big production out of it. AI hackers do it with robots. AI hackers do it robotically. AI hackers do it artificially. AI hackers do it depth first. AI hackers do it with robots APL programmers do it with stile APL programmers are functional. APL programmers do it backwards. APL programmers do it backwards. Accountants do it with double entry. Accountants do it with balance. Accountants are good with figures. Acrophobes get down. Actors do it on stage. Actors do it on cue. Actors play around Ada programmers do it by committee. Ada programmers do it in packages. Advertisers use the "new, improved" method. Advertising majors do it with style. Aerobics instructors do it until it hurts. Aerospace Engineers do it with lift and trust. Agents do it undercover. Air Traffic Controllers do it in the dark. Air Traffic Controllers tell pilots how to do it. Air traffic controllers do it by radar. Airlifters penetrate further, linger longer, and drop a bigger load Alpinists do it higher. Ambulance drivers come quicker. Analog hackers do it continuously. Anglers do it with worms. Animators do it 24 times a second Ansi does it in the standard way. Archeologists like it old. Architects have great plans. Arsonist do it with fire. Artillerymen do it with a burst. Artists do it by design. Artists are exhibitionists. Artists do it with emotion Artists do it with creativity. Assassins do it from behind. Assembler programmers do it one-to-one. Assembly line workers do it over and over. Astronauts do it in orbit. Astronomers do it while gazing at Uranus. Astronomers can't do it with the lights on Astronomers do it with Uranus. Astronomers (astrophysicists) do it with a Big Bang. Astronomers do it under the stars. Astronomers do it with thier Telescopes (Refraction periods?) Astronomers do it in the dark. Astronomers do it with stars. Astronomers only do it at Night Attorneys make better motions. Auditors like to examine figures. Authors do it by rote. Auto makers do it with standard equipment (or optional equipment). B&Ders do it with their hands tied behind their backs! BASIC programmers GOTO it. Babysitters charge by the hour. Backstrokers do it face up Bailiffs always come to order. Bakers knead it daily. Bankers do it with interest. (However, there is a penalty for early withdrawal) Banker - Past performance is no guarantee of future potential... Bananas do it in bunches. Band members do it in front of 100,000 people. Band members do it in a parade. Band members do it in sectionals. Band members do it all night. Band members do it on the football field. Band members do it in public. Barbarians do it with anything. (As do orcs.) Barbers do it with shear pleasure. Bartenders do it on the rocks. Baseball Players (Sports people) Do it for alot of Money Baseball players make it to first base. Baseball players hit more home runs. Baseball players have leather-covered balls. Basic programmers do it all over the place. Basic programmers do it all over the place. Basketball players have big rubber balls. Basketball players dribble before they shoot Basketball players score more often. Beekeepers like to eat their honey. Beer brewers do it with more hops. Beer drinkers get more head. Beta Testers do it looking for mistakes. Bicyclists do it in 10 speeds. Biochemists make better lovers...want us to make *you* one? Bio - Does that mean your offering to make a better lover than the one I alrea dy have, or to improve ME?!?? Biologists do it with clones. Bo Jackson knows doing it. Boardheads do it with stiff masts. Body-builders do it with muscle Bookkeepers do it with double entry Bosses delegate the task to others. Bowlers have bigger balls. Breaststrokers touch with both hands Bricklayers lay all day. Bridge players try to get a rubber. Bridge players do it with finesse. Broadcast/Cable Majors do it on film. Broadcast/Cable Majors do it to epic proportions Building inspectors do it under the table. Bus drivers come early and pull out on time. Butchers have better meat. Butchers do it with dead meat. C programmers continue it. C programmers do it with lint. C programmers SWITCH often. C programmers SWITCH and then BREAK it. C programmers SWITCH and then BREAK it. C programmers continue it. C'Bers do it on the air. C++ programmers do it with their friends, in private. CIA operatives do it with a security blanket. COBOL hackers do it by committee. COBOL programmers do it very slow. COBOL programmers do it very slow. CS111 students do it with interspersed comments. CS111 students do it in binary. CS111 students do it with ORGs. Californians do it laid back. Campers do it in a tent. Cardiologists do it lightheartedly. Cardiologists do it halfheartedly. Carpenters hammer it harder. Carpet layers do it on the floor. Cartoonists do it with just a few good strokes. Cavaliers do it mounted. Cheerleaders do it with more enthusiasm. Cheerleaders do it enthusiastically. Chefs do it in the kitchen. Chefs do it for dessert. Chemical engineers do it in packed beds. Chemists do it reactively. Chemists do it periodically on table Chemists do it in an excited state. Chemisty majors do it experimentally. Chess Masters mate in two Chess players do it with knights/kings/queens/bishops/mates. Chessplayers check their mates. Chiropractors do it by manipulation. Civil Engineers do it by reinforcing it. Civil engineers do it with an erection. Civil engineers do it in the dirt. Clerics do it with their gods. Clock makers do it mechanically Clowns do it for laughs. Cobol programmers do it with bugs Cocktail waitresses serve highballs. Comedians do it for a laugh. Commodities traders do it in the pits. Communications majors do it with their mouths. Communists do it without class. Computer Scientists do it byte by byte Computer game players just can't stop. Computer operators get the most out of their software. Computer scientists simulate doing it. Computer scientists automate it. Conenl Sanders does it, and then licks his fingers. Congressmen do it in the house. Construction workers lay a better foundation. Consultants tell other how to do it. Cooks do it with oil. Cops do it with nightsticks Cops do it by the book. Cops have bigger guns Cops do it in leather. Cowboys handle anything horny. Cowboys make it on horse Cowgirls like to ride bareback. Crane operators have swinging balls. Credit managers always collect. Crosscountry runners do it in open fields Cryonicists Stay Stiff Longer! Csh does it with its children. D.M.s do it behind a screen. Dan Quayle does it in the dark. Dan Quayle does it in the dark. Dancers do it in leaps and bounds. Dancers do it with grace Data Processors do it in batches. Deadheads do it with Jerry. Debaters do it in pairs Debaters do it inin front of a judge. Debaters do it in standing up Debaters do it in orally Debaters do it in for eight minutes at a time Deep-sea divers do it under extreme pressure. Deer hunters will do anything for a buck. Dental hygenists do it till it hurts. Dentists do it in your mouth. Dentists do it with filling. Detectives do it under cover. Dieticians eat better. Digital hackers do it off and on. Direct mailers get it in the sack. Dispatchers do it with frequency. Distance swimmers keep it up longer Divers do it deeper. Divers do it for a score. Divers go deep. Divers do it deeper. Doctors do it with patience. Doctors take two aspirins and do it in the morning Doctors do it in the OR. Doctors take two aspirin and do it in the morning. Drivers do it with their cars. Druggists fill your prescription. Druids do it in the bushes. Druids do it with animals. Druids leave no trace. Drummers do it louder. Drummers do it in 4/4 time. Drummers do it with both hands and feet. Drummers beat it. Drummers do it with rhythm. Drummers do it longer. Drummers pound it Drywallers are better bangers. Dungeon Masters have better encounters. Dungeon Masters do it to you REAL GOOD. EE's do it on an impulse. Economists do it at bliss point. Economists do it cyclically. Economists do it with a dual. Economists do it in an Edgeworth Box. Economists do it with an atomistic competitor. Economists do it with interest. Education majrs make you do it again and again until you get it right. Electrical Engineers do it with large capacities. Electrical Engineers do it with super position Electrical Engineers do it on an Impulse. Electrical Engineers do it with faster rise time Electrical engineers are shocked when they do it. Electricians do it with 'NO SHORTS'. Electricians do it with spark. Electricians do it in their shorts. Electricians check your shorts. Electrochemists have greater potential Elevator men do it up and down. Elves do it in fairy rings. Engineers charge by the hour. Engineers do it with precision. Engineers do it to a first order approximation. Engineers do it in practice. Engineers do it any way they can. English do it with an accent. English majors do it with style. Entymologists do it with bugs. Evangalists do it with him watching Evangelists do it with Him watching. Executives have large staffs. Existentialists do it alone. F. B. I. does it under cover. FORTH programmers do it from behind. FORTRAN programmers just DO it. FORTRAN programmers do it with SOAP. FORTRAN programmers do it with SOAP. FORTRAN programmers just DO it. Farmers spread it around. Fencers " " " " " " metal. Fencers always extend before the lunge. Fencers always make good advances. Fencers are always concerned with safety. Fencers are never foiled. Fencers are trained to use their swords. Fencers do it with three feet of sword. Fencers do it in a full lunge. Fencers go for the point. Fencers go one on one. Fencers have better point control. Fencers keep their swords up. Fencers know when to engage. Fencers know how to thrust. Fencers know how to cross swords. Fencers know how to extend. Fencers know where they are aiming. Fencers know how to saber the moment. Fencers play with their swords. Fencers play the touching game. Fetuses do it in-vitro. Firemen are always in heat. Firemen do it with a big hose. Firemen do it wearing rubber. Fishermen do it for reel. Fishermen are proud of their rods. Flagpole sitters do it in the air. Football players are measured by the yard. Football players do it offensively/defensively. Football players have oval balls. Four-wheelers eat more bush. Frustrated hackers use self-modifying infinite perversion. Furriers appreciate good beaver. Fuzzy theorists (and Zen Monks) both do it and don't do it. Gamblers do it with a kidde (kitty) Gamblers do it on a hunch. Garbagemen come once a week. Gardeners have 50 foot hoses. Gas station attendants pump all day. Geographers do it globally.....:-) Geologists are great explorers. Geologists do it to get their rocks off. Geologists know how to make the bedrock Geometers do it constructively. Gerald Ford does it on his face. Gerald Ford does it on his face. Gnomes are too short to do it. GNU programmers do it for free. And they don't give a damn about look & feel. Golf players have dimpled balls. Golfers do it in 18 holes. Gravediggers die to do it. Gymnasts do it with grace. Gymnists mount and dismount well. Hacker just need a tight PUSHJ, a loose pair of UUOs, and a shi ft. Hackers do it without you even knowing it. Hackers do it without proof of termination. Hackers do it in libraries. Hackers do it digitally. Hackers do it relocatably. Hackers do it during PM. Hackers get off on tight loops. Hackers do it immediately. Hackers appreciate virtual dresses. Hackers do it with their fingers. Hackers do it locally (or globally). Hackers do it in loops. Hackers know all the right MOVs. Hackers do it in two states. Hackers do it randomly. Hackers take big bytes. Hackers do it during downtime. Hackers do it with key strokes. Hackers do it with side effects. Hackers do it in a HRRI. Hackers stay up longer. Hackers do it in batches. Hackers do it recursively. Hackers do it all night. Hackers do it absolutely. Hackers do it with computers. Hackers do it without arguments. Hackers do it with fewer instructions. Hackers do it concurrently. Hackers have faster access routines. Hackers do it automatically. Hackers do it with recursive descent. Hackers do it in the microcode. Hackers do it at link time. Hackers do it without detaching. Hackers do it with words. Hackers do it with quick sorts. Hackers know what to diddle. Hackers do it conditionally. Hackers do it with insertion sorts. Hackers have high bod rates. Hackers do it without protection. Hackers do it with DDT. Hackers do it detached. Hackers do it iteratively. Hackers do it with phantoms. Hackers do it in O(n log n). Hackers do it with bugs. Hackers do it with simultaneous access. Hackers do it with editors. Hackers do it with slaves. Hackers do it sequentially. Hackers stay logged in longer. Hackers do it with high priority. Hackers make it quick. Hackers have good hardware. Hackers do it in SEXTRAN. Hackers have it where it counts. Hackers do it with demons. Hackers do it with interrupts. Hackers do it by the numbers. Hackers do it in dumps. Hackers do it all night long. Hackers are I/O experts. Hackers do it without a net. Hackers do it reentrantly. Hackers do it attached. Hackers discover the powers of two. Hackers do it synchronously. Hackers do it discretely. Hackers do it indirectly. Hackers do it in stacks. Hackers have high bawd rates. Hackers do it graphically. Hackers do it in trees. Hackers multiply with stars. Hackers have fast response time. Hackers do it efficiently. Hackers get overlaid. Hackers don't do it--they're hacking all the time. Hackers have better software tools. Hackers do it in less space. Hackers do it in the software. Hackers do it interactively. Hackers do it bug-free. Hackers do it faster. Hackers do it loaded. Hackers avoid deadly embrace. Hackers do it in parallel. Hackers do it with all sorts of characters Hairdressers give the best blow jobs. Hams do it with frequency. Handball players have little solid rubber balls. Handymen like good screws. Hardware hackers do it with connections. Hardware hackers do it intermittently. Hardware hackers do it electrically. Hardware hackers do it with uncommon emitters into open collectors. Hardware hackers do it over a wide temperature range. Hardware hackers do it with transceivers. Hardware hackers do it with resistance. Hardware hackers do it with bus drivers. Hardware hackers do it with male connectors. Hardware hackers do it with maximum ratings. Hardware hackers are a charge. Hardware hackers do it with power. Hardware hackers do it with emitter-coupled logic. Hardware hackers have sensitive probes. Hardware hackers do it with AC and DC. Hardware hackers have faster rise times. Hardware hackers do it closely coupled. Hardware hackers do it with female banana plugs. Hardware hackers do it with charge. Hardware hackers do it on a bus. Hardware hackers do it noisily. Hawaiians do it volcanicly. Helicopter Pilots do it with autorotation. Helicopter Pilots do it while hovering. Hewlett packard does it with precision Hikers do it naturaly. Historians do it for prosperity Hobbits do it only if it isn't dangerous. (Well, MOST hobbits, anyway.) Horn players do it French style. Horseback riders stay in the saddle longer. Hunters do it with a bang. Hunters do it in the bush. Hunters go deeper into the bush. Hunters eat what they shoot. Hurdlers do it every 10 meters. I.M.ers [Individual Medley] know all the strokes I/O Hackers have to condition their device first I/O Hackers do it without interrupt IRS does it everywhere Illusionists only LOOK like they're doing it. Illusionists fake it. Indiscreet mathematicians do it in uncountable ways. Infantrymen do it in the trench. Insurance salesmen are premium lovers. Interior decorators do it all over the house. Introverts do it alone. Introverts do it with themselves. Inventors find a way to do it. Janitors clean up afterwards. Jean d'Arc makes it french Jedi Knights do it FORCEfully? Jewelers mount real gems. Jockeys do it at the gate. Jockeys do it with their horses. Joggers do it on the run. Judges do it in chambers. Kamikazes do it once. Kayakers do it, roll over, and do it again. Knowledge engineers do it with expertise. Korfball players do it with the other sex. (Korfball is the mixed team sport in the world. Mixed rugby etc doesn't count.) LISP hackers are thweet. LISP hackers do it with rplacd LISP hackers do it in lambda functions. LOTS hackers do it sloooooooowwwwwwwwllllllllyyyyyyyy. Landlords do it every month. Landscapers plant it deeper. Laser printers do it without making an impression. Lawyers do it in their briefs. Lawyers do it in briefs. Lawyers do it to you. Lawyers do it with clause. Librarians do it quietly. Librarians do it by the book. Locksmiths can get into anything. Logicians do it or they do not do it. Long distance runners last longer. Long jumpers do it with a running start. Long-distance runners do it on a predetermined route. Louisianans do it differently. ("Big Easy" -- Dennis Quaid) Machine Coders do it in bytes. Machine language programmers do it very fast. Machine language programmers do it very fast. Machinests make the best screws. Macintosh programmers do it in windows Mages do it with their familiars. Magic Users have crystal balls. Magic-users do it with their hands. Magicians are quicker than the eye. Magicians do it with mirrors. Magicians Do it with mirrors. Maintenance men sweep 'em off their feet. Malingerers do it as long as they can't get out of it. Managers supervise others. Managers make others do it. Managers do it by delegation. Marketing reps do it on comission. Married people do it with frozen access. Martial Artists do it with technique. Math majors do it discreetly and continuously... Math majors do it with accurately. Mathematicians do it with Nobel's wife. Mathematicians do it commutatively. Mathematicians work it out with a pencil Mathematicians do it transcendentally. Mathematicians do it over an open unmeasurable interval. Mathematicians prove they did it. Mathematicians do it functionally. Mathematicians do it associatively. Mathematicians do it with relations. Mathematicians do it with their real parts. Mathematicians have to prove they did it. Mathematicians do it with imaginary parts. Mathematicians do it with a Minkowski sausage. Mathematicians do it with linear pairs. Mathematicians do it homologically. Mathematicians do it in grops, rings and fields. Mathematicians do it with odd functions. Mathematicians do it on smooth contours. Mathematicians do it symmetrically. Mathematicians do it totally. Mathematicians do it in theory. Mathematicians do it transitively. Mathematicians do it variably. Mathematicians do it with prime roots. Mathematicians do it partially. Mathematicians do it discretely, but continuously. :) Mathematicians do it reflexively. Mechanical engineers do it automatically. Mechanics do it from underneath. Mechanics do it on their backs. Mechanics do it with tools. Medical researchers make mice do it first. Medical researchers make mice do it first. Mermaids CAN'T do it. Metallurgists do it in the street. Meteorologists do it unpredictably. Milkmen deliver twice a week Millionaires pay to have it done. Milton Berle does it in his BVDs. Milton Berle does it in his BVDs. Mimes do it without a sound. Miners do it deeper than divers. Miners sink deeper shafts. Miners do it in a dark hole. Miners do it with the shaft. Ministers do it on Sundays. Missile engineers do it in stages. Missilemen have better thrust. Models do it beautifully. Models do it in any position. Modem manufacturers do it with all sorts of characters. Molecular biologists do it with hot probes. Monks do it by hand. Mothers do it with their children. MotoXers do it in the dirt. Motorcyclists like something hot between their legs. Motorcyclists do it with spread legs. Mountain climbers do it with rope. Movers do it in the van. Movie stars do it on film. Music hackers do it in concert. Music hackers do it audibly. Music hackers do it with their organs. Music hackers do it at 3 am. Music hackers do it with more movements. Music hackers want to do it in realtime. Music hackers do it in scores. Musicians do it with rhythm Musicians duet in pairs. Native Americans do it with reservations. Network hackers know how to communicate. New users do it after receiving advice. New users do it after reading the helpfile Non-smokers do it without huffing and puffing. Novices do it with instructions. Number theorists do it "69." Nuns do it by habit. Nurses call the shots. Nurses do it painless Nurses do it with care. Nurses do it with Tender Loving Care. OPERATOR does it in the CTY. OPERATOR does it automatically. Oarsmen stroke till it hurts! Oceanographers do it down under. Operators do it person-to-person. Operators really know how to mount it. Optometrists do it face-to-face. Optometrists do it eyeball-to-eyeball, since they always see eye-to-e ye. Organists do it with both hands and both feet PASCAL programmers REPEAT it. PASCAL programmers REPEAT it. PASCAL users do it with runtime support. Pacific Northwest hackers do it with n loggin' sorts. Painters do it with longer strokes. Paladins don't do it. Paladins do it good or not at all. Pantomimists do it silently. Paramedics can revive anything. Perfectionists do it better. Perverted hackers do it with POPs. Pessimists can't do it. Pharmacologists do it by prescription. Pharmacologists do it with affinity. Philosophers think they do it. Philosophers go deep. Philosophers do it for pure reasons. Philosophers wonder why they did it. Photographers do it with a flash. Physicists do it particularly Physicists do it strangely Physicists do it in waves Physicists do it magnetically Physicists do it with Tensors. Physicists get a big bang. Physicists do it in black holes Physicists do it energetically Physicists do it with black bodies Physicists do it on accelerated frames Physicists do it with their vectors Physicists do it wit rigid bodies and simple harmonic motion. Physicists do it repulsively Physicists do it with uniform harmonic motion. Physicists do it attractively Physics majors do it at the speed of light. Pilots do it with flare. (airplanes are flared on landing) Pilots do it in the cockpit. Pilots keep it up longer. Pilots stay up longer. Pilots do it on the wing. Ping-Pong players have light plastic balls. Plumbers do it with plumber's helpers. Plumbers do it under the sink. Plumbers do it with pipe wrenches. Polaroid does it in seconds. Polaroid does it in one step. Policemen like big busts. Politians do it on a hill. Politicians do it for 4 years then have to get re-erected. Politicians do it to everybody. Polymer chemists do it in chains. Postmen come slower. Presidents make it on the hot line Printers reproduce the fastest. Printers do it without wrinkling the sheets Probate lawyers do it willingly. Procrastinators do it later. Proctologists do it in the end. Professors do it by the book. Programmers do it a bit at a time. Programmers repeat it until done. Programmers do it top down. Programmers do it nybble by nybble. Programmers do it in software Programmers CYCLE forever, until you make them EXIT. Programmers do it bottom-up. Programmers do it in higher levels. Programmers do it on command. Programmers do it by pushing and popping. Prolog programmers are a cut above the rest. Promiscuous hackers share resources. Prostitutes do it at illegal addresses. Prostitutes do it for profit. Psychiatrists do it on the couch. Psychologists do it unconsciously Psychologists think they do it. Pyrotechnics experts do it with a blinding flash. Quantum Physicists do it with flavr and charm. RICS designers do it with fewer instructions. Racers like to come in first. Racquetball players do it off the wall. Racquetball players have hollow rubber balls. Radio Engineers do it till it MegaHertz. Radio and TV Announcers broadcast it. Radiologists do it with high frequency. Rally drivers do it sideways. Rangers do it in the woods. Real estate people know all the prime spots. Recyclers use it again. Reporters do it daily. Reporters do it for a story. Researchers are still looking for it. Retailers move their merchandise. Rhetoricians do it persuasively Robots do it with artificial intelligence. Roofers do it on top. Runners get into more pants. Runners do it with vigor Runners keep it up longer SAIL hackers follow the procedure. SAIL hackers have high service levels. SAIL hackers do it with [Control]. SONAR TECHS DO IT AURALLY Sailors do it after cruising the seven seas. Sailors like to be blown. Sailors get blown off shore. Salespeople have a way with their tongues. Scientists discovered it. Scientists do it with plenty of research. Secretaries do it from 9 to 5. Seismologists make the earth move! Semanticists do it with meaning. Senators do it on the floor. Sergeants do it privately. Set theorists do it with cardinals. Simulation hackers do it with models. Skiers do it with poles. Skiers do it spread eagled. Skiers go down fast. Sky divers do it in the air. Sky divers NEVER do it without a chute. Skydivers go in harder. Skydivers are good till the last drop. Skydivers do it at great heights. Skydivers go down faster. Soap manufacturers do it with Zest. Soccer players do it for kicks. Soccer players have leather balls. Soccer players have spotted balls. Software designers do it with system. Software engineers do it top-down . . . and bottom up. Software reliablity specialists keep it up longer. Speech pathologists are oral specialists. Spellcasters do it with their rods/staves/wands. Spelunkers do it underground. Sportscasters like an instant replay. Sprinters do it after years of conditioning. Stagehands do it on cue. Statisticians probably do it. Statisticians do it when it counts. Statisticians do it with 95% confidence. Statisticians do it with only a 5% chance of being rejected. Statisticians do it with two-tail T tests. Statisticians do it with large numbers. Statisticians do it continuously but discretely. After all, it's only normal. Stewardesses do it in the air. Structured programmers DO it OD. Students use their heads. Stunt Kite fliers do it with =both= hands.. Stwardess' just: say place this over your nose and mouth and breath normally! Submariners dive deeper and stay longer. Supercomputer users do it in parallel. Surfers do it in waves. Surgeons are smooth operators. Swashbucklers do it with three feet of steel. Swimmers do it with a breast stroke Swimmers do it in the water. Swimmers do it with better strokes. Swimmers do it with the coach timing Swinging hackers Move Swapped. SysOps do it with their computers. System hackers know where to poke. System hackers swap on demand. System hackers get it up quicker. System hackers keep it up longer. System hackers are always ready. Systems go down on their hackers. Systems have black boxes. Tailors make it fit. Taxi drivers do it all over town. Taxidermists mount anything. Teacher Assistants do it with class. Teachers do it with class. Techies do it behind the scenes. (as in stage hands) Techies do it on cue. Techies do it in the dark. Technicians do it with greater frequency. Tennis players have fuzzy yellow balls. Thieves do it when you're not looking. Thieves do it in leather. Thieves do it with tools. Tribological Engineers do it by using lubricants. Trombone players do it in seven positions. Unix users do it with pipes. VM'ers do it virtually all the time. Veritech pilots do it three ways. Volleyball players bump their balls. Water polo players have slick yellow balls. Whimps make it under cover Workers make it with drill Writers do it creatively; they plot to bring their subjects to a climax Writers do it with style. [Butter]flyers have better rhythm accountants do it with double entry. aerobics instructors do it until it hurts. anglers do it with worms. archaelolgists do it in the dirt. astronauts do it in orbit. astronomers do it under the stars. astronomers do it with their telescopes. astronomers do it only at night. astronomers can't do it with the lights on. astrophysicists do it with a big bang. bananas do it in bunches. baseball players do it for a lot of money. beta testers do it looking for mistakes. calligraphers do it at various angles chemists do it in an excited state. civil engineers do it by reenforcing it. data processors do it in batches. debators do it in their briefs. deep-sea divers do it under extreme pressure. dentists do it in the chair. divers do it for a score. divers do it deeper. dm's do it whether you like it or not. dm's do it in ways contrary to the laws of physics. dm's do it any way they feel like. dm's do it anywhere they damn well please! dm's do it to you real good. dm's do it with dice. dm's have better encounters. druids do it au naturel. electrochemists have greater potential. entymologists do it with bugs. fantasy roleplayers do it all weekend. fantasy roleplayers do it in a group. fantasy roleplayers do it all night. fantasy roleplayers do it in a dungeon. geologists know how to make the bedrock. hackers do it all night. hackers do it with their fingers. hurdlers do it every ten meters. librarians do it quietly. long jumpers do it with a running start. long-distance runners do it on a predetermined route. machine coders do it in bytes. magicians do it with mirrors. malingerers do it as long as they can't get out of it. mechanics do it on their backs. mimes do it without a sound. mimes don't do it. everyone hates a mime. molecular biologists do it with hot probes. mountaineers do it with ropes. musicians duet in triplets necrophiliacs do it cryptically. necrophiliacs do it CRYPTically necrophiliacs do it until they are dead tired. non-smokers do it without puffing! operators really know how to mount it. organists do it with both hands and both feet. pediatricians do it with children. philosophers do it with their minds. photographers do it in the dark. piano students learn on their techers' instruments. podiatrists do it with someone else's feet. pole vaulters do it with long flexible instruments. printers do it without wrinkling the sheets. procrastinators will do it tomorrow. proctologists do it with a finger up where the sun don't shine. programmers do it in higher levels. psychiatrists do it for at least fifty dollars per session. public speakers do it orally. radio operators do it with frequency. republicans do it to poor people. scuba divers go deeper. shoppers do it in the mall. skeet shooters do it 25 times in 9 different positions. spectroscopists do it with frequency and intensity. sprinters do it after years of conditioning. sprinters do it in less than 10 seconds. tap dancers do it with their feet. the FBI does it under cover. theater majors do it with an audience. theater techies do it in the dark, on cue. trampoline acrobats do it swinging from bars. trampoline acrobats do it under the big top. trampoline acrobats do it over a net. trampoline acrobats do it in the air. tribiological engineers do it by using lubricants. urologists do it in a bottle. vegetatians don't do it with meat. veterinarians do it with animals. zippy does it on his lunch break. --