Archive-name: Humour/lookbf.txt Archive-author: Archive-title: Looking for boyfriend A bunch of us wrote the following after reading a joke recently received re: "Looking for a girl friend." We thought that there should be a sequal to this entitled: "Looking for a boy friend." I must confess that I am on a number of listservers and may have missed a joke re: "Looking for a boy friend", but I can't recall seeing one. Could you please consider this for nutworks. *** Looking for a boy-friend *** Following are some of the requirements. * Make and Model : Human/Male * Year : 1950 - 1958 * Mileage : Low mileage * Engine : Eight Cylinder (V-1 position) EFI** Manual overdrive Cam shaft in excellent condition Well lubed Triple exhaust (all three functional) Very low noise Quick acceleration (Zero to Sixty Nine in <8 sec.) A lot of horse power (must feel it) Repeating pistons Built in fuel injection No exhaust fumes or smoke * Transmission : Manual * Stick Shift : 5 on the floor; Fun in 1st, sensual in 2nd, titillating in 3rd, fabulous in 4th, and fucking good in 5th. Revs in reverse and performs in Park Over-drive required Ease of use of the stick shift is a plus * Shocks : Smooth ride and heavy duty suspension * Brakes : Front - Disk, Rear - Cylinder (no leaks in the system and enough fluids) * Steering : Power steering Easy to handle Endurance tested Cruise control * Radiator : No boiling Quick warm up and cool down and good for long trips * Body : Extremely hard glossy finish Well constructed Power locks Long body Good breather Safety inspected No Dents/Excellent Condition (well kept) Colour - any Detailing - as needed but not over-done Blinking lights - any colour Weight - 140 - 210 lbs Pleasant Grill Easily Convertible - Removable cover at will Comfortable Driver Seat Front and Back Double Soft-Cushion(tm) suspension Slim but adequate tires Absolutely no rust (must be checked/certified by me) Clean engine (should be able to eat it) * Driving : Has a good hard drive Evokes a great deal of pleasure * Cost : Less than the Bill of rights ** EFI =Easy Front Interface (copy sent to the network) --