Archive-name: Humour/sexdict.txt
Archive-author: Hustler
Archive-title: Sex Dictionary

			Frem HUSTLER magazine.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Aphrodisiac -- Any substance that decreases a bitch's resistance to 
		       the carnal advances of a horny scumbag.  Common 
    		       "aphrodisiacs" include large dicks, costly powders, 
 		       fast cars, Visa gold cards and money in all of its
		       higher denominations.

	AC/DC -- An indiscriminate plug that will stick into any available
  		 socket.

	Anal Retention -- Anal retention is a phose in the Freudian stages
		   	  of personality development.  Anal retention is also
			  what a homosexual does when he does not want to get
			  sperm on the upholstery.

	Ass Belch -- Fart.  Bad news if a bitch ass belches while getting her 
		     fudge packed.

	Asshole -- We've all got one.  Some of us are one.

	Asshole Buddy -- Afriend with whom a scumbag can be himself.  As in
			 "Jeff Moses is my asshole buddy.  I can ass belch at
			 the dinner table, and he keeps scarfing his burrito."

	Ballbuster -- A penis-envying bitch who's obsessed with inflicting
		      castration complexes. Synonyms: Career woman, girlfriend.

	Bimbo -- Something a bitch calls another bitch who's scored a scumbag
		 she wanted for herself.

	Blowjob -- The best method the scumbags have yet devised to quiet a
		   bitch.

	Bone -- Has nothing to do with dinosaur skeletons on display at the
		Museum of Natural History.  As a noun, a bone is a blood-
		engorged biological organ with a high concentration of 
		pleasure sensors in its tissue.  As a verb, to bone is to do
		anything a consenting adult wants to do with his bone.

	Butt Cherry -- A succulent fruit that retains its savory sweetness
		       even after a bitch has lost her ass virginity.  Synonyms:
		       Brown-eye, bun nugget, pucker bud, executive vice 
		       president.

	Butt Plug -- A torture divice inserted sadistically into a slave's
		     rectum and left there well beyond the statute of merciful
		     limitations.  Most commonly worn by the American tax-
		     paying public.

	Callipygian -- An incredibly effete and refined way of saying "has a
		       nice ass".  Usage: She was a callipygian bitch; so I
		       packed her fudge.

	Choad -- The male erotic essence, as it springs from between his loins
		 and as it spurts from his spring.  Usage: The bitch's face
		 was smeared in choad.

	Clitoris -- A nub of throbbing gristle situated at the apex of a 
		    bitch's pussy.  She is very interested in a scumbag knowing
		    where her clitoris is and will reward him for making its
		    discovery.  Synonyms: Joy buzzer, love button, pearl.

	Coprophilia --	The art of eating shit and saying it tastes great, an
			essential skill for a successful career in the advert-
			ising, entertainment or politics industries.

	Cream Puffer -- A pud-huffing bitch who's sucked her mouth full of
			milky discharge; yet continues to blow.

	Cum -- Spurts of viscous liquid that verify true lust, cum looks like
	       anything from mayonnaise to tapioca pudding.  Synonyms: Jizz,
	       load, manchowder, wad.

	Cum Sponge -- Either a crude birth-control device or a bitch who has a
		      hearty appetite for anything from mayonnaise to topioca
		      pudding.  Synonyms: Scum dump, spuzz receptacle, wad sop.

	Cunt -- The good news is that she has one.  The bad news is that she
		may be one.

	Dick -- The male animal.  Synonyms: Prick, scumbag, line of credit.

	Dick Ornament -- A particularly eye-pleasing bitch.

	Dildo -- Penis substitue that comes in several different varieties, 
		 including double-dong, strap-on and Republican.

	Doggy-Style -- The ability of a scumbag to have sex by putting one
		       leg behind his neck, leaning forward and licking his
		       balls.  Synonym: Ron Jeremy mode.

	Douchebag -- Asack of vinegar and disinfectant; any bitch who's old
		     enough to be a scumbag's mother, and yet still tries to
		     bust his balls.

	Enema -- A good way for a tight ass to clear his mind.

			MORE to CUM.......


--