"The Bandit 4b"( MF cons )

"You waited?  Oh, you didn't have to do that!"  Conan looked up from his magazine
and smiled as Cricket came out of the Trauma Ward, a compress held up to her eye.
 He stood up and shrugged on his coat, and helped her ease into hers.

"That's okay," he said.  "I had to talk to the police when they came by, and I
didn't want you walking home alone."  He opened the door for her into the night,
and they hustled out into the cold wind, heading for the North Habitat.

"I appreciate your helping me," Cricket said after a few moments of silence.  "I
really thought he was gonna kill me."

"What were you doing with a creep like that anyway, Cricket? You seem like too
smart a person to go getting mixed up with someone who'd jump you like that...."

"Huh!  So speaks the walking beefcake magazine!"  Cricket's voice held a trace of
a sneer.  "What the fuck do you know about getting trapped into doing shit you
don't want to do, big man? Huh?"

For a brief, horribly clear instant, Conan thought of Twink.  "Too damn much," he
whispered.  "Sorry.  Shouldn't have said it."

"Damn right," Cricket continued angrily.  "I've seen you working out in the gym,
all pumped up and nowhere to go.  All the girls looking at you and talking about
you...."

"No shit, really?"  Conan grinned widely.  Now THAT was an interesting
revelation!

"Yeah, really!  And d'you know what they're saying?"  Cricket paused for
emphasis.  "They're LAUGHING at you, you stupid motherfucker!"

"What!"  He looked down at her in shock.  "WHY?"

"Because you're so fucking narcissistic it's enough to make them puke, that's
why!  It's so obvious, watching you pose in the mirror.  The love affair between
Conan and Conan will go down in history!"  She shook her head and fell silent. 
Conan looked supremely uncomfortable in the silence that followed.

"I wish they could've seen you tonight, though," Cricket whispered.

"Oh, shit, that wasn't anything," Conan said with a shrug.  "He couldn't have
hurt me if he'd tried."

"Yes he could've," Cricket said tartly.  "It doesn't take a big man to carry a
gun of a knife, Conan.  You could've been killed!  You didn't know what you were
charging into-- you just did what you thought was right, without hesitation.  He
would've broken my nose if you'd hesitated before coming in after him.  Or
worse."  She smiled up at him.  "You know what your problem is?"

"Yeah," Conan muttered.  "I'm a narcissistic scumbag."

"No, besides that," Cricket chided with a smile.

Conan stopped and looked at her for a moment, unsmiling.  "No, I don't know what
my problem is," he said.  "Why don't you tell me?"

Cricket reached up and gently touched Conan on the tip of the nose. "Your
problem," she said softly, "Is that you don't really know where your strengths
and weaknesses are.  You're not impressing anyone when you squat a quarter ton or
whatever, but you can bet that you'll get a lot more respect from the women in
the aerobics class when they hear how you saved my ass tonight!  You're no mean,
macho hunk.  You're just a decent human being."

"Oh, really," he said with a wry look.

"Yeah, really," she replied, starting to walk again.  The doors to the North
Habitat loomed out of the darkness before them, and Cricket fumbled in her pocket
for her security card with one hand while trying to hold her compress in place
with the other.  "Oh, damn it!"

"Here, lemme help you," Conan said quickly, gently placing a hand over hers on
the compress.  She looked up at him with her good eye for a long moment before
drawing her hand out from under his and fumbling for her card.  She got it out,
and got the door open by feel as he held the compress steady.

"Thanks."  She pocketed her card and put her warm little hand over his, taking
the compress from him.  She smiled up at him in the doorway. "For everything."

"No problem," Conan grinned.  He shivered in the wind, and said, "Well, I guess I
better be getting back.  It was nice meeting you, Cricket."

"Wanna come in and warm up for a while?"

He looked at her long and hard, then shook his head.  "I better not."

"Oh, stop looking like a kicked dog and get in here, you moron!" Cricket grabbed
him with her free hand and dragged him inside.  The door shut with a clang behind
him, and the night was still once more.

The Bandit awoke with a start, half sitting up in the darkness.  His eyes were
utterly unaccustomed to the gloom, but he could feel rather than see the warm
presence in his bed.  There was a quiet whisper in the dark.

"Oh, I'm sorry, love, I didn't mean to wake you...."

"That's okay, that's okay."  The Bandit settled back down onto the bed and ran
his hands down the amazing curve of Twink's broad back.  She hummed in delight
and burrowed closer to him, warm in the cold night.

"This is really wonderful," she breathed.  "It's so cozy."

"Yeah," the Bandit said.  "Cozy."  He suddenly realized what had awakened him:
her hand on his penis, warm and soft, gently stroking him closer and closer to
orgasm.  He was almost ready to pop.  "Y'know, if you keep playing with me like
you are, I'm gonna come all over you," he whispered.

"Oh, really?"  Her giggle was low and almost liquid in the night.  "Is that so
bad? I like to make you feel good...."  Her inexpert hand stroked him more
roughly and insistently now, and she crawled up until her lips were level with
his, kissing him as she squeezed his penis and pumped it in her fist.

"You like?"  Her mock Spanish accent was somehow fairly effective, he noted in a
haze of mixed sleepiness and horniness.

"Si, I like," he replied, and she giggled again.  "But there are other things I
like, too, and if you're not going to let me sleep we may as well enjoy them...."

"Oh!  Well, what did you have in mind?"

He grinned in the darkness.  "Ever been eaten out before?"

"Uh, I don't think so," she said uncertainly.  "What is it, exactly?"

"What, being eaten out?"  The Bandit paused, at a loss.  "It's when I, well,
uh....Tell you what.  Let go of me and I'll demonstrate, okay?"

"Okay."  Her fist released his penis, and he immediately rolled her over onto her
back and began kissing his way down her body, pausing for a few luxuriant sucks
at her huge nipples before making his way down lower. "Ohhhh," she moaned as he
squeezed her breasts, "That feels so GOOD!"

"If you like that," the Bandit said, "You'll love what comes next!" His tongue
flicked out and began to touch and probe beneath her pubic hair, and she gasped
in surprise.

"Ooh!  Careful, that tickles!  Bandit, you can't really want to lick down THERE,
I mean isn't it sort of--" Her breath caught in her throat. She took a deep
breath and tried again.  "It's not too--" Her voice died again.  When she finally
spoke, it was in a different tone altogether.

"Oh, please don't stop...."

"Mmmmmmm," the Bandit replied, his tongue teasing her rapidly-swelling clitoris
gently.  There was no question but that she was primed and ready for his
attentions;  her pussy lips, neat and symmetric, were oozing moisture, and her
clit was stiff and turgid.  He licked and sucked on it, and drove his tongue
between her outer lips to caress the entrance to her cunt.  Back and forth, back
and forth between them, listening all the while to her nonstop commentary.

"Oh!  Oh!  That feels heavenly!  Don't stop, PLEASE don't stop!  It feels like
I'm burning up, I'm hot and cold, I'm shaking all over, Oh gentle Jesus, OH!  OH!
 What is that you're licking? More!  More, oh, yes, oh, God, I--Bandit!  BANDIT! 
I FEEL FUNNY!  I FEEL, I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA--EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

Her body arched off the bed from heels to head and he rode her like a cowboy
rides a bucking bronco, his tongue never leaving her sopping vulva. She moaned,
shrieked, and gasped, her clutching hands buried in his mop of long dark hair,
holding him in place as she spent and spent.

Finally, he let go of her, and she collapsed sobbing onto the bed, her body
soaked in a thick film of sweat.  "Oh, God, oh, God, I love you, oh, Bandit, that
was so, so BEAUTIFUL!"  He crawled back up to join her and hugged her hard, and
she buried her face in his hair and cried.

"Sweetheart, don't cry, it's okay.  Shhhh, don't cry," the Bandit soothed her,
stroking her long hair.  "Please don't cry...."

"Can't, hic, I cuh-cuh-can't HELP it," Twink sobbed gustily.  "It was so,
suh-suh-so BEAUTIFUL, I cuh-c-c-can't help crying, uh, oh, I LOVE you!" She cried
even harder, and the Bandit didn't know what else to do but to hold her close and
rock her gently until her sobs gradually died away and she relaxed against him,
kissing his neck.  "Oh thank you, thank you...."

"Uh, you're welcome," the Bandit said uncomfortably.  "Are you sure you're all
right? I mean, I've never had anyone start crying on me before."

"Oh, I'm feeling wonderful," Twink sighed, grabbing a fistful of toilet paper
from the roll the Bandit kept by the bed and blowing her nose with a honk.  "I
couldn't help it, it felt so good I just had to cry.  Was, was that an orgasm?"

"Uh, I think so," the Bandit said soothingly, smiling despite himself. "If it
wasn't, when you finally have one it'll probably kill you!"

"Mmmmm, but what a way to die!"  Twink laughed and ran her hand back down his
chest to his penis, which was just as stiff as ever.  "My turn to make you feel
good, now," she breathed, sliding down his body and kissing his chest as he'd
kissed hers.

The Bandit suddenly recalled what she'd said about Conan.  "Uh, Twink, are you
sure you want to do that? There are other ways...."

"Mmmmm, shut up, Bandit," came her voice from somewhere under the covers.  "I
love you, and I want to make you feel as good as I do...."  The Bandit's whole
body tensed as a long, wet tongue licked its way down the underside of his penis
and gently kissed his balls, then travelled back up to the head.  "You like?"

"Uh, uh-huh," he managed.

"Oh, good," she replied, "Because I don't feel like stopping!  It tastes so
gooommmmbbllmmmmph......"  The Bandit began thrusting his hips up off the bed as
her moist, warm mouth enveloped him and gently sucked him in.  She teased him
with tiny nips and rolled her tongue obscenely over the head of his penis as if
trying to lick a lollipop to death in under three minutes.  As excited as he was,
it was no time at all before the Bandit was feeling himself tense up under an
impending orgasm.

Twink, feeling him tense, stopped her labors for a moment.  "Are you all right?
Am I hurting you?"

"Oh, God, DON'T STOP NOW, I'M COMING!"

"Oops!  Sorry!  Glmmmmm....MMMM!  MMMM!  MMMMMM!  Mmmmmmmmmmm...."

"UH!  UNGH!  UH!  UH!  OH!  UH!  Uhhhhhhhhhhh...."

Twink swallowed and swallowed again, downing every drop of hot, thick semen he
gave her.  She got up on her hands and knees and looked up at him, licking the
last bits of sticky come from her lips.  "How was that?"

"Oh, god," the Bandit moaned.  "I'm dying...."

Twink laughed lightly and snuggled up next to him, kissing him deeply. The
mixture of sweat, pussy juice and semen in the kiss was indescribable. The Bandit
broke the kiss, and muttered, "So much for a night without doing anything...."

"I don't mind a bit," Twink said, yawning.  "I'm so sleepy all of a sudden...."

"S'okay, me too," the Bandit mumbled.  "Sleep well."

"Mm-hmmm...."

"Shhh," Zero whispered as he opened the door to his room slightly.  "I just need
to get fresh clothes, and I don't want to wake anyone up."

"Okay," Diva said softly, tiptoeing into the living room with him. The door to
Conan and the Wiz's room was ajar, and Conan was stretched out on his bed under
the covers, snoring like a steam engine.

"Him, we won't waken," Zero laughed, shutting the door.  "But the Bandit's a
light sleeper, so...."

He eased the door to the bedroom he shared with the Bandit, and both he and Diva
simultaneously smelled the familiar odor of sex.  Zero peeked inside.  The first
thing he saw was the rumpled blue nightgown on the floor.  Diva gasped;  the
first thing she saw was Twink's gorgeous back, half uncovered by the blankets.

Zero looked at Diva.  Diva looked at Zero.  Their astonishment was comical. 
Quickly Zero reached into his closet and grabbed fresh clothes, and they backed
out of the room and shut the door.

"That was TWINK in there with him, wasn't it?"

"Hard to say, I've never seen Twink naked before."

"Oh, come on, I'm serious!  The BANDIT, and TWINK?"

"Hey, she's been gunning for him for months, and I have to admit that what I saw
didn't look too bad...."

"That's enough of that, mister," Diva said sharply.  "You're spoken for already."

"No problem," Zero said amiably.  "Just commenting, that's all."

The outer door closed, cutting off their voices.  The Bandit smiled, his eyes
still shut, and drifted back to sleep.

The breakfast table was abuzz with conversation when the Bandit came out of the
hot food line with his tray in his hand.  He'd sent Twink off to shower and dress
with a kiss, and had promised to meet her at the breakfast table, but she wasn't
there yet.  Zero, Diva, Conan, Bone, Thud, Plaids, and a young blonde girl he'd
never seen before were sitting at the table. When they saw the Bandit, there was
an uncomfortable pause, conversation dying down as the Bandit set his tray down.

"What's everyone looking at me for," he asked pleasantly.

Conan looked at him with a big grin, and waggled a finger at him. "Na, na ne NA
na!  Na, na ne NA na!"  Pretty soon the whole table was doing it, and the Bandit
just sat down, shaking his head and grinning.

"So how was she?"

"Getting a bit desperate, are we?"

"Any port in a storm, I guess...."

"Yes, but is she 'port'?"

"All right, ALL RIGHT!"  The Bandit waved them all to silence.  "I have only this
to say.  It was not an act of desperation.  Okay?"

The laughter redoubled at that.  "Prove it," Thud said mildly.

"Okay, I will," the Bandit said with a smile.  Keep your promise, Twink, he
thought to himself.  Don't wimp out on me, please? It's a stupid thing to have to
do, but it'll make my life so much easier....

"How?"  Bone challenged.

"Well, it's easy enough, when--Ah, hello, sweetheart!"  The Bandit stood up and
pulled up a chair beside him for Twink as she entered the room.  Conversation
died.

Thud's eyebrows went north for the winter.  Conan's jaw hit his tray, and Cricket
elbowed him in the ribs.  Bone's eyes nearly popped out of his head, and Plaids
nervously took off his glasses and began to polish them furiously.  Twink had
told the Bandit that she'd owned one set of clothes that he'd probably consider
"sexy," and had agreed to his request that she wear them to breakfast.  And sexy
she was, in a clinging silk jumpsuit that was unzipped halfway to her waist. 
She'd foregone the bra for the meal, too.

"Good morning, love," she said huskily, slipping into the Bandit's arms and doing
her best Diva-kissing-Zero imitation.  She then sat down beside him, and said
with a bright smile, "Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!"

"Uh, Twink, that's, uh, that's quite an outfit you've got there," Conan ventured.
 Cricket looked over at him, one eyebrow raised.

The Bandit had coached Twink on that eventuality, though;  she didn't even look
up.  "Eat your heart out, thumbdick," she said, opening her napkin.

Cricket almost spat up her milk laughing.  "You, I like," she said with a grin. 
"I'm Cricket.  You must be Twink!"

"The one and only," Twink replied.  "What happened to your eye?"

"Well, I--"

"HEY!  HEY, EVERYONE!  LISTEN!"

All heads turned about as Lanky came running in, obviously in a panic. The Bandit
stood up and made shushing motions with both hands.  "Take it easy, Lank.  What's
the matter?"

"It's Livewire."  Lanky's face was ashen.  "The police came and took him away
last night.  It looked like they'd beaten him half to death."