The Dragonlily [m/f, cons] The sad trees hung over the street, blocking out the sunlight and casting dark shadows at my feet. I felt the heavy strain of emotions in my heart. My footsteps fell slowly on the sidewalk as I gazed at the surroundings. When I looked down at the sidewalk, I couldn't see my own shadow, and when I looked up at the sky I couldn't see any trace of sunlight. I saw the church ahead of me, and sighed. I took another deep drag off of my cigarette and contemplated the burnt-out butt between my fingers, wondering why I needed them so badly before tossing it into the gutter with a frown. * * * My eyes watered with the sting of the smoky air as I tried to relax back against the lumpy cushions of the couch. My fingers tapped the slow rhythm of the local band on the glass surface of the beer bottle as I glanced around the room. The crowd was split up into twos and threes, with a few couples bouncing around the dance floor to the beat. Suddenly, I glimpsed a beautiful woman out of the corner of my eye-- she was lingering in the doorway, leaning against the jamb. My gaze followed her appreciatively, admiring her smooth, sleek silhouette. She was slim, but had curves in all the alluring places--her breasts rose and fell as she laughed and talked with her girlfriend. She turned slightly to the side, and I watched her rounded hip move side to side teasingly through her silky, fluid dress. It almost looked as if she was showing off to me--using her body to lure me over to where she was, in the manner that a flame lures a moth. She moved seductively, and I wondered for a moment if maybe she was easy. Probably not-she was probably just out for a good time tonight. Though I tried to fight off the feeling, at that exact moment, I wished that I could have her more than anything. "Who you looking at?" The words were spoken in a slight drunken slur, blasting unpleasantly into my left ear. I shrugged and indicated with my finger the woman I'd been admiring. The guy I was in attendance with looked her way, and whistled softly. "You don't stand a chance, man, not a chance." "Man, I'm just looking," I said, failing to hide the note of bitterness. He laughed in my ear. "You couldn't even get that blonde bimbo slut to go with you last week. What makes you think you're gonna get a hot chick like that, huh, man?" I looked at him icily, not wanting to admit to him what I'd just said to myself. I knew I didn't stand a chance, I'd never stood a chance against women in previous attempts. I was a shiftless virgin who'd never even had a girlfriend. My life was uneventful, short of a single kiss at a party when I was 14, and I knew it was-- "Dude, man, if you can get in THAT, man I'm gonna ... man ..." I'd had enough of his drunken mumbling and muttered an excuse about having to go check the time. I got up off the couch, striding towards the woman without a second thought. "Hello." I spoke the words too softly, and she glanced at me out of the corner of her eye before she turned her head again and laughed with her girlfriend. I shifted uneasily, trying to swallow the panic that was rising in my throat. "Hello!" She turned and gave me a warm smile, tilting her body in my direction. I gestured towards the dance floor, and she looked quizzically at her friend, questioning with her eyes whether she could have the dance with me. Her friend waved her off and laughed loudly as she poured the contents of a shot glass down her throat. The woman took my arm as we walked into the dancing throng, her breast pressing gently against my shoulder. In the pale, dark light, the lady looked angelic. Her hair was indeed red--a soft shade of crimson, almost. It framed her face gently in soft wisps, giving her face an oval look. She smiled at me as she wrapped her arms around me, and I knew my heart was lost right then. Her lips were softly curved in a cupid's bow, light pink in contrast with her red hair. As she pressed her firm body against me, my heart skipped a beat at the unfamiliar feel of breasts cushioning my chest. I breathed in her soft scent, trying to ignore the urgency of my erection pressing against my pants. * * * I had picked my clothes out carefully that morning--it was the least I could do for my Julie. I got a tux that I hadn't worn for years. It was black in color, and double breasted, over a white shirt and plaid tie. It looked satisfactory to me, and since I was still in the prime of my life, it fit without much protest. However, my belly did strain against it with the weight of the beer and liquor that I had acquired a taste for in recent months. I tucked a lock of mousy brown hair behind my ear, slicking it down with a greenish gel. I ran my hands over it quickly. I arranged my hair fastidiously as I'd only done once before, during a special night for my Julie. And this, I knew, would be the last time it'd be this immaculately prepared. I leaned close to the mirror, observing the slight pink of my eyes and the yellowness of my skin. My complexion was clear, yet sallow and pale with the burden of my feelings and of late evenings spent pondering and speculating over a drink. Not satisfied with my appearance, I turned on the faucet and slapped my cheeks lightly with the cold water. * * * I tilted my head back against the pillow in pure ecstasy. She started to slip off into the throes of her own orgasm as my hot, slippery cock thrust in and out of her with a frenzy that I could not control. Our bodies rocked together in a rhythm as my hands tightened on her ass. I groaned and begged her to keep going, harder, faster, to entreat me to such sensations that I'd never experienced before. She controlled my orgasm as it approached me, my body enveloped in a slow-burning fire. I lost control as she rode atop me frantically, making me writhe with pure sensation as her hot, tight pussy drew every bit of strength out of me. The grip of her hands on my shoulders tightened as her legs worked up and down, surrounding my waist as she kept her body pumping above me frantically. "Oh, ohh ... It's so big ... ohh ..." I let out a loud groan and squeezed my eyes shut, seeing stars as the sensations around my cock intensified. The pure sensation of my cock pushing against her tight, wet insides caused me to cry louder as I convulsed underneath her again and again, writhing helplessly in pleasure. Finally, my orgasm died away and her hot, sweaty body relaxed as she sank down to my arms. I lay on my back with my face in her sweet honey-scented hair, holding her body close to mine. * * * The church was in sight now. I could hear excited voices chattering and soft music spilling out from the inside. The lot had almost a hundred cars in it, colorful balloons adorned the church, and numerous guests were standing around outside in good clothes. The men wore mostly suits and tuxes, a few with white flowers tucked into their breast pockets--members of the wedding party, no doubt. The women were dressed stylishly for the most part, in long, draping gowns that showed off their figures (weather it was to their advantage or not.) Gifts, cigarettes, wine goblets, pictures and more--they were all in the hands of the guests. The sound of the people's chatter and laughter was carried over to me by the wind. I heard a joking shriek pierce through the air as I walked closer to the chapel. I pushed my hands into the pockets of my tux before withdrawing my wet palms out again. Ah, the love of my Julie. What a vibrant, wonderful woman she is. She could make any man alive utter promises that he would truly keep--of forever being by her bedside when she woke in the morning. Of holding her hand through thick and thin, if it only meant being loved by her. She could make any man wish with all his heart and a sidelong glance at his suddenly vain and pretentious wife that Julie was his. She was a perfect blend, a perfect combination of all the things you wanted in a woman. She was, just simply, the most amazing woman I'd met. The only amazing woman I'd met. Her body. It was heaven, the folds of her soft, moist pussy lips wrapped around my cock, gripping my entire length. The way she gazed at me as she'd slipped up and down my shaft, the way she stretched her body out against mine when she tried feel my entire body in contrast with hers. The way she'd parted her legs over mine, letting me feel the moistness of her pussy against the bare skin of my thigh as she teasingly licked my cock, the way she'd rub against me subtly, knowing the sensations of her pussy against my leg were driving me far crazier than the sensations of her hot tongue exploring my every inch. * * * My fingers pressed against her head as she moved her mouth up, taking a sac into her mouth and running her tongue around it playfully. She sucked it gently, and let it fall from her mouth as she kissed the very base of my hardening cock. I gripped her firm breast, feeling the hard nub of her nipple between my fingers. I rubbed it slowly, tentatively as she teased me with her mouth. She stuck her tongue out as far as she could, using its full length to lick me slowly, from the base to the tip. She ran her tongue around my cock head, before opening her mouth and letting me into the wet warmth, and I groaned in pleasure as I felt her tongue massaging the sensitive underside of my cock. She took me deep inside her mouth, rubbing up and down with excruciating slowness. My legs were tensing and untensing around her small body, and she knew this meant that my cock was engulfed in pleasure as she continued at a faster speed. My cock was stiff to the point of pain now, and my fingers were tight against her head as she moved up and down on me. My pleasure mounted faster and faster, building to what was going to be an incredible orgasm. * * * I thought to have experienced that love--the kind of love that all men dream about. And no wonder, either--it was an incredible sort of love. I knew it was a quick, impulsive decision, made entirely with my emotions and completely without common reasoning. But I'd thought it was the right one, believed it was the only one I could possibly make. She was beautiful, and she had a way of cocking her head to the side when you talked, and taking your hands in hers to let you know she cared. Of making you think you were the one that mattered. * * * "Hello." The words were spoken softly, and I immediately broke into a smile when I heard her voice. She came up from behind me and took a seat across from me, carefully draping her beaten leather coat over the back of her chair. "I ordered," I said quietly, entranced by her gaze. "I'm happy that you came to meet me tonight, I've felt so alive, so purely _vital_ ever since that night. You're just so amazing- I can't get you off of my mind." I took her hand in mine and caressed her fine fingers, gently running my thumb across her knuckles. I lifted her hand up slightly, kissing her on the back of her fingers, and wondered momentarily just how far I'd go for this woman. It had only been a few days that I'd known her, but already--already, she was a major force in my life. She came to me in my dreams. She was there when I was drifting in the half-conscious stage of the morning, only to disappear like a wisp of smoke when I revived fully. She blushed and shrugged, her expression turning serious. "I just felt obligated to come talk to you. But I have to tell you the truth, this can't go very far. I know we've gotten together a few times, but honestly, I'm already involved-" I hid my expression of slight surprise, quickly silencing her with a finger. I tried not to let my confusion show (had she not had as much fun as I had?) and told myself that she was probably just afraid to get committed to someone so quickly. "Just humor me at the least. Pretend that you love me. You might not believe it, but I'm not pretending when I say that I love you. I _know_ that I do." * * * Inside the hallowed building's hallway, my lifeless, cold hands clutched at the inside of my pockets. I glanced around the room, and saw who the lucky husband-to-be was. He seemed to radiate evil to my eyes, and I wanted nothing more than to lunge at him with the strength of only the truly mad. His vileness was such that it seemed to warrant my delving a knife deep into his chest, letting the blood flow out with his life. Nevertheless, I turned around and a basket of flowers by the room in which the couple were to be wed caught my eye--two of them in particular. They were bright red, with hints of orange at the less mature parts of the petal. I lifted one of these flowers out of the basket and cradled it close to my breast. I stood in silence, frowning with contemplation. My Julie. I had not been good enough for her. She never complained, she never was bitter. Bitter? Julie? Not Julie, the sweetest soul the Earth ever knew. But I found myself to be increasingly inadequate, being poor in matters of wealth. In matters of the heart, I was rich. As a lover, I was tender and affectionate. As a beau, I bought her flowers, her favorite of all being the flower I held in my hand now, the dragonlily. She'd mentioned dragonlilies once, and the next day I bought her a whole bouquet. Every time I found out what she liked, I took care to bring it to her. * * * "Oh! It's gorgeous!" Her gasp of surprise made me smile as she embraced the bouquet of dragonlilies that I had brought her. When she'd opened the doorway, she had started to say something, but the surprise of the moment swept her up as her bright grin took over her face. She leaned over and kissed me on my cheek, shyly at first, but I caught her lips as she drew back. We kissed for a few minutes, her soft tongue slowly running along the lower edge of my lip. She tasted of the chocolates that I'd given her, slightly tinged with milk. My hand slipped up to her breast, where the hard nub of her nipple protruded thickly through the fabric. She leaned close to me, being careful not to crush the flowers between us, and the light smell of her perfume made me dizzy with lust. Our kiss became more urgent as my body firmed against her. I tweaked the nipple gently between my fingers, and she pressed her breast against me in response. She broke the kiss, her cheeks slightly flushed as I ran my hand down from her breast along her muscular stomach. I opened my palm to squeeze the soft padding on her belly gently, and my hand traveled downwards as her body trembled in excitement. "This can't go very ... mmmm ..." * * * Most of the crowd had migrated inside the church, and I sat silently in the very back pew on the bride's side, alone. Nobody noticed me--perhaps because nobody else sat quite as far to the back as I did, even though the church's pews were filled nearly to overflowing. The thick crowd tapered off by the fourth to last row. I absentmindedly plucked a precious petal off the flower--fragile, just like myself. I didn't like to feel fragile, but I had to admit that I was. Over the last few months, I'd felt my emotions breaking down. I cared less now what people thought, and cared not at all what people might think if I was spotted cradling a delicate flower as if it was my child, and carefully rubbing the soft satin leaf of the plant. I stared at the petal and thought: "This petal represents my eyes. These eyes, which were once worthy, and never again will be, to hold Julie's full beauty inside them. Never again to see how truly magical she was. It may not have been very long, but ... but it was the best time of my life." * * * She stood before me, completely nude. Her body seemed to be perfectly shaped, as if sculpted by the hands of God himself. My breath caught in my throat as I gazed upon the way her high neck made her shoulders look even slimmer than they were, the hollow of her shoulders following two mounds of beautiful flesh. Her areola were light pink in color, just a little paler than the rest of her body, and wrinkled with the cold and with the anticipation of the moment. Her nipples jutted out teasingly, almost begging me to kiss them and nibble them. Her stomach was hard from her workouts and from the physical activities of her job, yet she had a womanly curve to her belly. Along the side of her belly was a light pink scar, about two inches long. It was barely noticeable, but I loved how it seemed to make her susceptible to me. It showed the past, whatever had been done to earn that scar, showed an experience that she wouldn't forget, an experience that left her vulnerable to my eyes now. The pubic hairs curled softly underneath the curve of her stomach, the same light shade of red as her mane. She stood with her thighs slightly apart, and the wetness between her legs glistened in the pale light. * * * The music started, and the ceremony advanced. When the groom walked down the aisle, I could only stare in horror and distaste. His proud friends grinned at him from the aisles, happy that one of their own had found such a good woman. The groom himself was vile--underneath that blanket of wealth and good looks, I was sure that he would eventually make the bride unhappy. As I had made Julie unhappy--it killed me to even think of her being unhappy. I'd tried in earnest to keep her satisfied. I watched listlessly as the bridesmaids made their way down the church. Their dresses were a glimmering emerald shade, glistening in the pale light of the sanctuary. The younger ones looked nervous--I could imagine them thinking of their own wedding day, wondering if it'd be as beautiful as this. I thought of their hands as being clammy as they threw out petals in the aisles, wondering if the light would hit the stained glass windows in the same delicate manner. The older bridesmaids were more confident in their movements, smiling at the uneasiness of the less experienced ones. Oh, when the bride stepped gently down the carpeted aisle. So beautiful, my Julie looked. Her blushing face was barely translucent through the pale white veil, and her trembling hands held each other. In her dress, to say nothing, she looked remarkable--it showed off every bit of her elegant gorgeousness and every millimeter of soft skin seemed exposed somehow, underneath the virginal white of the gown. When my gaze locked upon her, it was as if the angels themselves sang. She met my eyes through the veil and faltered the tiniest bit. She looked surprised and cornered, but she tore her gaze away from me and smiled as she faced her eyes to the front of the room. I could see her now, her hands caressing me, holding me. My hands had touched this most elegant and beautiful woman, had caressed her cheek as I kissed her. I plucked another leaf off of the revered dragonlily, declaring it now to be my hands that were lost. "My hands--what will they touch now? They have already been to the most beautiful place on earth." * * * My hand ran up her bare, smooth thigh and shook slightly as they reached the wetness of her smooth labia. I slowly ran my fingertip along her hard clitoris, rubbing it in a circular motion. She trembled, and moaned softly at this feeling. While I massaged her clitoris, I ran another finger down to her slit, rubbing it gently along its length and letting her lubricated excitement guide me inside her. It was so wet and hot, and when I thought of how my cock would feel in there again, it hardened considerably. I slowly and gently slipped my finger deeper into her pussy and moved the tip in and out. * * * It was a beautiful wedding if you could discount the Satan-like groom's presence lingering amongst the proceedings. The white drapings and the classy carpet, all the works, failed to cover up an unpleasant aura throughout the entire thing. It should have been my wedding, should have been my Julie on my arm, and it should have been my tongue spilling the words that I had ached for such a short while that'd seemed like forever, to say-- "I do." I left before the kiss. I sighed, and looked down at my lily. "This petal," I declared, pulling off another silky appendage, "Is ... was ... my lips. Never again they be worthy to touch anybody else's lips, nor anybody else's hands. They were here ..." I sighed mournfully, dramatically. "Only to touch her." * * * I leaned between her legs, parting them slowly. Her pussy was pulsing in excitement, juices trickling out of her. I let my tongue taste her inner thighs first, kissing them softly and with an occasional experimental lick and nibble. I could taste the slightest tinge of her juices on her thighs, and the taste drove me wild just as the musky aroma of her pussy drove me wild. I worked closer to her pussy, teasing her. Finally, I nibbled the edge of her pussy lip, and let my tongue travel between her lips. The very tip of my tongue pushed into her folds, and slightly penetrated her pussy hole, working around the circumference of her tight pussy. She groaned, and her hands traveled down to my head, weaving her fingers in my carefully prepared hair. I moved my tongue up, exploring her slit, before I exhaled sharply on her clit, letting the hot air tickle her. She groaned again in ecstasy, and pushed my head harder against her pussy. I nibbled her clit gently, rubbing it between my teeth. I used my tongue to flick the edge of her clit gently in the confidence that I was doing the correct thing, and she moaned my name over and over. * * * I looked at this balding, beautiful flower. As I had plucked off each petal, I could feel my eyes growing blind, my hands growing useless, and my lips growing numb. My eyes were already blind to everything--to reason, to life. When she left, it felt as if every part of my soul had been tantalized slowly with a fiery, hot poker. My heart ached and burned with the shame. I longed to end this pain, to do anything to end this pain. It was unbearably physical as well as emotional. There could have been a gun--the cold nuzzle nestled lovingly against my tongue, and the pleasure of feeling the last pain of my life explode out of my body the way that my thoughts and blood would come out of the back of my head. All that remained of myself and my soul would be splattered behind on the wall, for an unfortunate person who cared not who I was to clean up. It was too easy to do it that way. I sighed, and trudged along the streets as I headed away from the chapel. Cars occasionally whizzed by me on the narrow pavement, and one honked at me when I wandered off into its path. Other than that, it was a slow, peaceful day--everyone was at the wedding. Drifting aimlessly, I shivered as the cold wind bit through my jacket. I walked on a small metal footbridge going above the river and looked across the edge of the bridge, my vision of the chilly rapids blurred by the pain in my heart. I looked at my flower, and chose yet another petal, slowly pulling it off with my numb fingers. "This is my heart, which she kept in her possession. I gave it to her so quickly--she deserved it. A goddess like her deserved so much more than my heart." * * * I nearly cried with happiness and satisfaction as I looked at her face, which was flushed with excitement. "I love you, Julie." * * * As I released the petal, the wind caught it in its cold hand and carried it off into the distance, dancing above the rapids. One final petal remained on the flower. "Oh Julie, my Julie," I murmured. "If only you could see what a mess of a man I am now. This final petal of the flower you loved so much I hold in my hand. This final petal is my life. I gave you my life, my mind, my soul. A woman like you deserves so much more, but I just couldn't give that to you. I just can't imagine anything close to this feeling ever again. A couple wild nights. But it's touching me forever, Julie." * * * A slow pause. "I love you too." * * * I let the petal slip out from between my fingers, and the wind didn't snatch it up like the previous one. The petal spiraled down towards the rushing rapids in a red-orange flutter, its plummet increasing in momentum with every subsequent second. I followed the last remaining petal of the dragonlily to the churning, noisy waters below me without another thought. The cold water was no shock to my cold life. I could feel myself seeping out of my body with every intake of water. My body was racked with coughs, my limbs grew stiff, and my eyes grew heavy. My body felt as if it was in the fire of ten thousand blazing furnaces, and it felt as if heat was making fresh blisters appear on my skin. Vessels were popping inside my lungs with the strain of the heavy waters, and blood leaked from my lungs to escape on my lips. As the warm, incarnadine blood in my body turned colder, my last thought before I slipped into the arms of cold unconsciousness was- "Oh, Julie, you knew what a mess of a man I was."