Encore!" - (m/f, M/F, rom, cons, sappy) <*>
Encore! 
(m/f, M/F, rom, cons)


June 5, 1980
 
"Slow down," Ashley moaned, pushing Josh's hand away from her breast.
"Can't we just kiss?"

"Yeah... ok, but damn Ashley, I can only take so much. How long do we
have to wait, anyway?"

"Shut up and kiss me," she whispered, pulling his face against her
own.

Josh was doing his best to respect his girlfriend's need to go slowly,
to be sure about their relationship, but it was growing more difficult
with each date. Each date that concluded in hot, increasingly
passionate necking sessions, only to stop suddenly when the yellow
porch light came on; her Mother's signal that their date was over and
Ashley needed to come into the house.

Her words might have been 'slow down', but her body language was
telling him something very different.  Josh felt her leaning into him,
her tongue brushing against his lips and entering his mouth in a hot,
passionate embrace.  He squirmed in his seat in a desperate attempt to
free his straining excitement as she cradled his face in her hands,
guiding his lips down to taste her exposed neckline.

"Yes Josh," she moaned, running her fingers through his hair and
pulling his mouth hard into her flesh.

Their passion seemed at an all time high as he leaned more of his
weight into her.  She returned her mouth to his, consuming him,
steadily draining away any remaining willpower.   

"Oh God, Ashley, I want you so bad," Josh moaned.

She leaned back into the bench seat of the Malibu, pulling Josh on top
of her.  His heart thundered in his chest, this being the furthest
they had ever gone as he sensed Ashley's arousal straining, her
breathing more labored than usual, her mouth becoming more ferocious
against his own. 

She parted her thighs, allowing him to move still closer.  His
excitement was hard and fighting against his jeans as he slid between
her legs in sensuous friction.  Within moments she was moving with his
rhythm.  He pressed harder and she rose against him, finally inching
up until the soles her feet were pressed against the car door as she
rocked her hips with the grinding of his hardness, her moans filling
the car's interior.  

'If it went this far...' Josh thought silently to himself.  He lifted
himself slightly and gently ran his fingers up her rib cage, expecting
to feel the familiar deflection of his hand back to neutral territory.
But instead of moving, she arched her stomach into his palm, an
unspoken signal that tonight's passion might hold more promise.  

His fingers continued upwards until he sensed the bottom of her bra;
upwards further, until he crossed the soft flesh of her breast.  She
moaned in pleasure, her breath hot against his cheek, as he gently
squeezed her through her shirt, feeling the texture of her body,
tracing the outline of where the bra met her skin.  Her hand ran up
and over his, the signal for him to stop that he knew was inevitable,
but again she ready with the unexpected, guiding his palm downwards
and under her shirt as she arched her shoulders to allow him access.  

Her skin was soft and warm to his touch as his fingers washed over
each rib.  He lifted himself up on his elbows, sliding his hands
behind her until he found the clasp of her bra, wrestling for a few
seconds until her giggling interrupted their kissing.

"Are you having problems there?" she smiled.

"Well, it's not like I do this all the time."

Finally freed, she collapsed her weight back into the seat.  Josh
returned to kissing her, more slowly now, sensing her shiver as his
hand slid up and under the cups of her bra. 

"Hold it," she moaned between kisses.

"No Ashley, no!  You can't do this! You can't let me start and then
make me stop like this!"  He felt like he was whimpering, but at this
point he didn't care.

"Who said you had to stop, silly?  I just thought you might like a
little more room, that's all." 

His heart raced as she reached down and grabbed the bottom of her
shirt, wrestling it upward until her pale breasts were exposed in the
dim of the streetlight.  He looked down at her as stared up at him, a
delicious smile on her face. Her breasts were perfect; everything he
had imagined.  

"God, you're beautiful," he moaned.

He returned his mouth forcefully to hers as he gently explored her
exposed chest, working slow circles with his fingertips until he
reached the sensitive nipple.  In truth, Ashley was the first girl he
had ever done these things with and he wasn't all together sure what
he should be doing or how he should proceed.

"Is that ok?" he asked.

"Hmmm...yes, that's wonderful."

Gently he rolled and tugged at the tip of her pink nipple, using the
pace of her breathing as a guide to his effectiveness.  She was almost
panting now, her mouth grabbing into his, her kisses more intense than
he had ever felt.  His wanting was now a need, his desire a dull ache.


"You can kiss them too.  I mean, I don't mind," she moaned, guiding
his head downwards.

Josh gently grazed his mouth around the edge of her breast, working
his way up to dance his tongue across her skin.  She was slightly
salty to the taste from their increasing passion and feeling her
hardening point in his mouth, her fingers combing through his hair, he
started to lose himself to the moment.  He slid to her other side,
repeating his devouring with more intensity, using his palm to cradle
and squeeze the breast his mouth had just left behind.

Holding back any longer was futile.  He ran his hand down her bare
stomach to her pants and tugged forcefully on the buckle.   He
released the belt and unfastened her jeans as their mouths moved in an
almost frenzy, her fingernails digging through his Rugby shirt and
into his skin. He worked loose the button that held her pants closed
and dragged down the zipper, sliding his hand inside her panties until
the tips of his fingers grazed the coarse tuft of hair hidden inside.
Without warning, the moment of truth arrived.  She turned her lips to
the side and away from his as she grabbed his hand.

"Josh, no -- not that -- not now."

He closed his eyes, panting and trying to recover.  As quickly as
things had moved, they were screeching to a halt. 

"Sit up Josh," she said in a serious tone.

He moved up and behind the steering wheel, rubbing his face in his
palms in an attempt to regain a sense of calm as she pulled down her
clothing.

"I'm sorry," he said.  "Are you Angry?"

"For what?" she replied as she sat up, fastening her bra and tucking
in her shirt.

"For taking it that far.  I know you want to wait.  It's just --- damn
Ashley, this is hard for me!"

"I could tell," she smiled.

Josh smiled in return.  "You know I love you, don't you?"

"Yes, I know that Josh.  And I love you.  It's just that I want a
moment like that to be special, to be something we'll remember for the
rest of our lives.  I don't want it to happen in the back of some
car."

"How bout the front seat?" he asked with a mischievous grin.

"No, not in the front seat either."

Without warning the porch light came on.  "That's my Mom.  I gotta
go," and she reached across and kissed him on the cheek.  "I love you
Josh," her last words as she exited the car and ran towards the porch,
disappearing into the house.

"I love you too, Ashley," he heard himself saying out loud, even
though she was too far in the distance to hear him.

December 24, 1997

Josh Ambrose stared with a puzzled expression at the game controller
resting in his hands.

"Button A does the punching?  Or was it Button B?" he muttered under
his breath.

His nephew Steven was sitting Indian style in the middle of the floor
next to him.  Trying desperately to find an answer Josh stared at
Steven's hands as they moved with lighting speed across the buttons of
the game controller. It wasn't working.  His nephew's nine-year-old
fingers were moving too fast to make out any pattern.  Whatever the
pattern was, it was effective.  Steven's animated fighting man was
delivering a lethal stream of kicks and punches to Josh's guy and
there wasn't a damned thing Josh could do about it. 

"Fight back, Uncle Josh, fight back!" Steven giggled.

"I'm trying Stevie, I'm trying.  Which button punches and which one
kicks again?"

The boy paused, reaching across his uncle's lap and pointing at the
buttons with his tiny index finger.   

"Ok, Uncle Josh, I'm only going to tell you one more time.  This
button does the punching.  That one makes your man duck and cover, and
when you push these two at the same time you can do a flying drop
kick.  But remember, you have to use the star key too or he'll just
stand there and get clobbered."

"Right!  The star key!" Josh exclaimed, as if he suddenly recognized
the missing link.  "Ok... ok, I think I've got it!  

He felt a rush of confidence approaching, a sense that he was on the
verge of a dramatic comeback, an upset bigger than when Hollyfield
defeated Tyson.  He watched the screen, punching the sequence his
nephew had just explained.  Success!  His character had just delivered
a crushing uppercut followed by a pounding right hook sending Steven's
fighting man stumbling backwards.

"Aha!" Josh yelled.

"That's good Uncle Josh!  Now watch this!"

Josh watched with a pained expression as Steven's fingers danced
across the game pad.  He looked back to the TV screen just in time to
see Steven's character hoist Josh's fighting man high into the air.

"Body slam Uncle Josh!" were Steven's last words the moment before his
fighting man slammed Josh's into the ground.  

Josh sat solemn watching his character's strength meter drain to zero.
The bright red words flashed on the screen -- Player 2 has been
defeated.

"Wanna play again Uncle Josh?" 

"I don't think so Stevie," he said in a defeated tone. His bones
creaked as he lifted himself from the carpet, his legs cramped from
sitting cross-legged for so long. 

"Turn that game off Steven and help your brother decorate the tree!"
Stephanie shouted from the kitchen.

"Oh Mom, just a little while longer.  Please, Uncle Josh, just one
more game.  I promise; I'll go slower this time!"

Josh smiled at his nephew, grabbing him from the floor and lifting him
high in the air above his head.  "This is your last chance Stevie!
Either go and do as your Mother asks --or face -- A BODY SLAM!"

Steven was laughing hysterically.  "Mom!  Mom!  Help me!  Help me!"

Stephanie appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, her hands on her
hips. "Josh, put him down.  You're not helping matters any."

Josh lowered the young boy gently to his feet.   "Maybe we'll have
that rematch later," he whispered to his nephew.  "And trust me.  I've
got this game figured out - you'll be going down!  Now, get out of
here and do as your Mother says -- before I decide not to let you off
so easy."

Stevie scurried off into the living room where his older brother was
adding tinsel to the newly delivered Christmas tree.  Josh watched him
racing away, unable to believe how much his nephew had grown since the
last time he had seen him.  It seemed like only yesterday that Josh's
Mother had left a message saying his sister Stephanie had given birth
to her second child, a 7-pound baby boy.  Now here was that baby boy
decorating trees and playing video games; masterfully playing video
games at that.

Josh followed into the kitchen where his Mom and Stephanie were busy
preparing for the family Christmas feast to be held the following day.
If his Mother wasn't humming Christmas carols, she was engaged in
non-stop talking.  It was the most excited he had seen her in years,
this being the first Christmas where she had all her children and
grandchildren together and home for the holidays.  

"Whatcha doing sis?" Josh asked, peering over Stephanie's shoulder.

"What does it look I'm doing?"

"Making a wagon wheel out of vegetables?" he said in a serious tone.

She ignored him, putting the finishing touches on a circle like
assembly of celery and carrots around a bowl of avocado dip.   Josh
waited stealth-like for the precise moment when she would turn to grab
the plastic wrap.  As soon as her back was to him, he reached for a
carrot strand and stuffed it quickly in his mouth.

"Hands off, those are for dinner tomorrow!" Stephanie scolded without
even turning around. Josh wondered if she inherited the eyes in the
back of her head from their Mother.

"I'm just having one," he muttered, his mouth full of a half-chewed
carrot.  "By the way, that game your son is playing is awfully
violent, don't you think?" 

Stephanie leaned close so only Josh could hear her whisper.  "You're
just pissed because you got your ass kicked."   She was smirking as
she stared at him, devouring a carrot of her own before stretching the
plastic wrap around the platter.

"Yeah, you're probably right." 

"Where's your brother, Josh?" his Mother asked, wiping her hands on
her apron. "I need him to go to the grocery store and pick up some
things.  We have nothing for dessert tomorrow."

"I'll go," Josh replied.  "Just let me borrow your car.  I kind of
want to cruise around the old neighborhood anyway."

"Take my car," Stephanie offered.

"You mean the minivan?  The one that looks like a dust buster on
wheels?"

His big sister turned to him, her eyes narrow and glaring.  It was a
familiar expression he had seen many times when they were growing up,
usually after he did something like cloak a pair of her panties on the
end of a broomstick and run through the room where she was
entertaining a new boyfriend.  

"Yeah, the minivan, smart ass.  No, it's not one of your fancy
limousines, but it suits us just fine!"

"Stephanie Marie!  No swearing on Christmas Eve," her Mother scolded.

Josh stood smirking, waiting for his Mother to turn her back before he
stuck out his tongue and wagged his hands like mouse ears at
Stephanie.      

"Where are the keys?" he finally asked after she turned and ignored
him.

"In my purse on the counter."

"Old man Hawkins will have his store open tonight?  On Christmas Eve?"

"Old man Hawkins retired," his Mother answered.  "We've got that big
fancy Safeway now.  It put Mr. Hawkins right out of business."

"Safeway, huh.  Where's the Safeway?"

"It's off of Grand Street, across from that Texaco where you worked
during high school.   You need to come home more often.  We're not
that little town you left behind, you know.  We're growing."

"Sounds like it.  What do you want for dessert anyway?  Pies?"

"That's fine, get whatever you want," his Mother answered.

"Yes, pies.  Pumpkin and coconut cream.  You need me to write that
down?" Stephanie asked in a condescending tone.

"You want to use my pencil?" Josh snickered, wiggling his hips.

"That's so gross.  Go away Josh," Stephanie laughed.  

His mother turned to him, wagging her hands to send him on his way.
"Go Josh!  They're only open until seven tonight.  If you don't hurry
they're going to close."

"I'm going, I'm going." 

"I think he's a little glad to be home for Christmas, don't you?"
Stephanie said with a smile.

"Same old Joshy," his Mother added, shaking her head.  "I was worried
that lifestyle of his might have changed him."

"Nah, I don't think you need to worry."

Grabbing the keys from his sister's purse, Josh made his way out into
the cold evening air.  It was definitely December, with the wind chill
slapping briskly against his beard.  He folded up the wool collar of
his overcoat and squeezed his arms tight around his chest, watching
his breath spray like smoke in front of his face. 

The holiday season was everywhere.  The neighborhood houses were
traditionally decorated for Christmas with blinking, colored lights.
He could hear the carolers singing in the distance, their melodies
interrupted only by the sound of his own crunching footsteps as he
tracked across the icy lawn towards the minivan.   Quickly he climbed
inside and pulled the door closed behind him, rubbing his palms
together and blowing into his fists to try and generate some heat.

Sitting and waiting for the engine to warm he noticed that even the
van smelled of Christmas.  Stephanie and her husband had just used it
to bring home the Christmas tree leaving pine needles scattered
throughout the cargo area along with a rich, forest-like aroma.
Unable to hear the carolers from inside the van, he punched the play
button on the cassette and laughed out loud when he recognized the
crooning voice of Dean Martin singing "Baby it's cold outside".
Stephanie loved that Christmas tape, so much Josh remembered offering
up a portion of his allowance if she would agree not to play it again.
It was amazing she hadn't worn it out by now.  

He pulled away from the curb and started towards the store, a flood of
memories rushing back as he drove down the familiar streets.  He
passed his best friend's Larry's old house and smiled as he remembered
the time the slightly pudgy Larry had tried to sneak out through his
bedroom window to attend a pool party being thrown by a friend's older
brother, only to get stuck.  He was found the next morning by his
Father, sound asleep and still wedged half-in and half-out of the
window.

Josh made a turn and headed down Main Street.  His Mother was right.
His hometown of Duffy was growing.  He counted three new traffic
lights, making a total of five.   As he turned down Grand he passed
the bowling alley where he played his first gig.  Probably the most
fun he ever had as a musician was at that bowling alley, with Sal on
the drums and Kenny on bass; where the night's wages were divided
between a beer mug full of tips and, on a good night, a smile from a
pretty girl.

Based on his Mother's directions he knew the Safeway would be straight
ahead, about a mile or two up the road.  The digital clock on the dash
read 6:35 p.m.  There was still time.   He slowed the van and made the
familiar right turn down Eighth Street, the same turn he had made so
many times before when he and Ashley were dating.  He pulled van to
the curb in front of the third house from the end and turned off the
lights to avoid drawing attention.

He sat staring at the porch of the now dilapidated track home, a faint
smile crossing his lips as he listened to the sound of Dean Martin
churning out yet another Christmas Carol.   His mind wandered back to
the days when he and Ashley were dating some seventeen years before.
That was a long time ago, yet it seemed like days and not years that
they were sitting in this very spot; listening to the radio, sharing
their dreams, and fogging up the windows of his old Malibu. The
memories were so vivid.  He closed his eyes and, for just that moment,
he could almost feel her next to him, sense her fragrance, hear her
voice...

The tape ended and so did Dean Martin's voice as the ratchet of the
cassette player automatically engaged side B, jolting Josh out of his
daydream.  He glanced again at the digital clock on the dash of the
minivan - 6:45 p.m.  He would have to hurry.  He turned around in
Ashley's old driveway and returned the way he had came.  

Before long he could see the lights ahead at Safeway and slowed down,
turning into the half-empty parking lot.  He made his way into the
store and grabbed one of the hand baskets, scanning the aisle signs
for the frozen foods section.  Standing in front of the frozen bay,
trying to make the executive decision for what dessert would be
enjoyed on Christmas day, the shopper across the aisle caught his
attention.   He couldn't be sure, but there was something oddly
familiar about this figure; something in the way the long auburn
ponytail was slotted out the back of the baseball cap.  

They were all out of pumpkin, but did have two coconut cream pies in
stock, so he grabbed those and made his way down the end of the frozen
case.  He stalled, pretending he was looking for something more, but
really just trying to get a better look at the familiar looking
redhead.   His heart began to race as he got close enough to confirm
his suspicions.    He turned and started to leave without saying
anything, but something stopped him.   Taking a deep breath, he turned
and walked slowly behind the familiar figure, reaching out to gently
touch her arm.

"Ashley...?" he said with hesitance.

The woman turned around and looked at him strangely.  The eyes were
familiar.  More worldly, but just as blue as he remembered.

"Yes?"

"You... you don't recognize me, do you?" 

He smiled as he watched the recognition appear on her face, her eyes
growing wide.

"Josh...?" she said with disbelief.  "Oh my God... Josh!"

She sat down her hand basket and went to hug him.  Her movements were
too quick and unplanned causing her purse to slip from her arm
scattering a variety of personal items across the linoleum floor.  She
wrapped her arms tight around his neck.   

"What are you doing here!"  She leaned back and grabbed his beard with
the tips of her fingers as her eyes washed over his features.  "Oh my
God!  Look at this," she said tugging on his whiskers and laughing.
"What is this Joshy?  You look like such a man!"

"Well, I guess I'll take that as a compliment."

She looked down at the contents of her purse spilled across the floor.


"Oh that was good," she said in embarrassment.

Josh bent down to help her regroup and they laughed as they placed the
items, one by one, back into her bag.

"So, tell me.  What are you doing here?" she asked again.

"Well, I decided it was time I came home for Christmas.  I hadn't been
back for almost five years, my schedule being so hectic and all.  How
are you?"

"Good... I'm good."  

"I was just checking out," Josh said.  "You on your way out?"

"Yeah, I am."

He reached out and took her basket in his free hand and they made
their way to the check out stand.  She was the first to pay for her
items and waited at the end of the counter as Josh sat down his basket
and placed his purchases on the black conveyor.  The pies rode the
belt until they reached the end and stopped.  The clerk wasn't moving.
When Josh finally realized the bagging process hadn't started, he
paused from his conversation with Ashley and looked up.  The clerk, a
female about seventeen or eighteen, was staring at him, motionless.

"You're Josh Ambrose, aren't you?" she said, almost out of breath.

Josh smiled.  "Yeah, I am."

"Oh my God!" the clerk exclaimed, her hand covering her heart as she
talked almost too fast to understand. "I can't believe it's really
you!  You're from this town, aren't you?  I've heard you're from this
town! I am your biggest fan, I swear!  Oh my God, I can't believe
you're here!"

"Well, thanks," Josh said, trying to down play all the attention.  He
looked at Ashley.  She looked at the clerk and smirked at Josh,
rolling her eyes.     

"Can you please sign something for me?" the clerk begged.

"Sure, I'd be happy to.  Can I borrow your pen?"

The clerk grabbed a pad from next to the register and a pen and handed
both to Josh, her hands shaking.  "My name is Stephanie."

"Really?  That's my sister's name," Josh said with a smile, scrawling
'Merry Christmas Stephanie.  Love, Josh Ambrose'  He handed the pad
and pen back to her.  "How much do I owe you for the pies?"

"Oh," she said, regaining her composure and dragging the boxes across
the scanner.  "They're $5.81".  She took Josh's money, a look of 'deer
in headlights' still on her face.

"Merry Christmas to you Stephanie," he said with smile, taking his
change.

"Oh, you too!" 

Josh turned and started out with Ashley.  He leaned into her so only
she could hear.

"How come you didn't get that excited when you recognized me?" he said
with smirk.  

"Oh please," she laughed.

They made their way out the door and moved around to the front of the
store towards where his car was parked.  

"It's so crazy.  I was just sitting in front of your house," Josh
said.

"My house?"

"I mean your parent's old house.  You know, out in front, where we
used to park, waiting for your Mom to turn on the porch light.  I had
my car parked in the very same spot."

"You didn't!  Oh, that's too funny.  Actually, my parents moved away
from that house years ago."

"Yeah, I could tell.  The lawn was a mess and we both know your Dad
would never let it get that way."

She laughed.  "What were you doing there?"

"Oh... reminiscing," Josh added, a bit embarrassed.  

"Reminiscing, huh?" she asked with a sly grin.

Feeling himself start to blush, he quickly changed the subject.
"Listen, it's still early.  Can you stay with me a while.  Just to
catch up, I mean."

Ashley looked at her watch.  "Josh, I would absolutely love to, but
it's Christmas Eve."

"Oh, you're right." He couldn't hide the disappointment in his voice.
"You probably have to go home and get your kids in bed and ready for
Santa Claus."

"No, no kids."

"Then, let's go have a drink.  Nothing major and I promise you'll be
home early.  Come on, like old friends."

She paused in thought.  "Every place is closed in this small town,
Josh."

He handed her the bag with the pies.  "Wait here," he said, turning to
run back towards the store.  A few minutes passed and he returned
carrying a plastic bag.  He reached in and pulled a six pack of Coors
high enough for her to see without taking it all the way out of the
bag.  "Come on -- let's go have that drink."

She smiled at him.  "Not here.  This town is still small and full of
gossips."

"I've got just the place.  Get in. I'll drive."  He guided her by the
arm to the other side of the minivan and helped her inside, rounding
his way back to the driver's door.

"Well, it's good to see success hasn't gone to your head," she added
with a nudge as he started the engine.  "Material possessions I mean."

Josh laughed.  "It's my sister's.  I know, it looks like one of those
little vacuum cleaners on wheels, doesn't it?"

They drove for about five minutes with Ashley being the first to break
the silence.  "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

Josh pulled along side the deserted drive-in theatre.   He didn't
really expect it to still be in business, but was relieved to see it
still standing.  Unfortunately, the field behind the theatre he had
counted on using as a parking place had been converted into a gas
station.

"You remember this place?" Josh asked.

"Of course I remember this place.  We used to come here all the time.
Although, I don't remember us watching too many movies," she said with
a nudge.

"Me neither," he laughed.  He drove about fifty yards further, then
stopped the van suddenly.  

"What are you doing?" Ashley asked with a giggle.

"Wait here."  

Josh jumped from the van and ran across a weeded area that used to be
the entry point for the drive-in.  Some wooden planks were hung
strategically to block the entrance. Ashley watched from inside the
car as Josh looked around on the ground until he found a piece of flat
wood, using it to pry away each plank, pulling and tossing the boards
to the side until the entrance to the drive-in was cleared.  He ran
back and jumped into the minivan.

"Josh Ambrose, what are you doing!"

He smiled as he threw the van in gear and eased into the drive-in. 

"Show is about to start any minute now.  We need time to go to the
snack bar."

He drove towards the back and then circled around, following the rows
of neatly arranged, rusting speakers, finally rolling down the window
to get a better view.  He parked the van and turned off the lights,
turning to Ashley.

"This was our spot," she said, before he had time to speak.

"I'm impressed.  I didn't think you'd remember."

"I just hope we don't get arrested.  We're trespassing you know."

"Nah, you worry too much."  He reached into the bag and wrestled two
beers from the plastic rings, popping the first open and handing it to
Ashley.  "Your drink, m'lady."

"You're a nut," she said, taking a slow sip.

They sat talking, catching up, swapping stories of 'whatever happened
to so-and-so', a comfortable air about the conversation as if they had
never been apart.  As they sat and talked, all Josh could think about
was how little Ashley had changed over the years.  She still had that
heart-warming smile, those gorgeous blue eyes, and that contagious
laugh.  He had hoped this trip home for Christmas would lead him to a
mutual acquaintance that could tell him the turns Ashley's life had
taken; but having her sitting here, right next to him, was almost too
much to believe.  

She shook her can, indicating she was ready for more.  Josh pulled the
remaining beers out and used the bag to hold the empties.  

"I just can't believe you're here," he said, handing her another beer.

"I know, this is so wild meeting like this.  Oh, I've got a funny
story for you. Phil and I were out doing some Christmas shopping in
Westwood.  They've got a mall there now."

"Phil?" Josh asked.

"Oh yeah; Phil's my husband."

"Oh," Josh replied, trying his best to hide the disappointment in his
voice, realizing he never thought to look for a wedding band on her
finger.

"Anyway, we went into this record store.  There was this really big
poster of your face on the wall, surrounded by a bunch of little
pictures of you.  You didn't have the beard though."

"Scary to think about a big picture of my face hanging in some mall."

She laughed.  "Well, I just kept staring at it until Phil came up and
asked me if I wanted your album for Christmas.   He doesn't know about
you and me and about our past.  I don't think he even knows you're
from Duffy."

Josh hung on to his forced smile, still thinking about the
announcement that she was shopping for a Christmas present with her
husband.

"Well, did you buy it?"

"Yeah, we did and it's very good.  But that's no surprise, I always
loved your music.  You must be doing really well?"

"Yeah, to be honest, things have gone better than I ever could have
imagined."

She pulled her legs up to the side and turned to face him, her blue
eyes twinkling in the dim light of the van's interior.  "I remember
sitting in front of my Mom's house and listening to you go on and on
about how great it would be to play your music to people in places
bigger then that bowling alley."

Josh laughed.  "Yeah, I remember those days."

"What's it like to be famous, Josh?" she asked, her eyes filled with
curiosity.  "Is it everything you thought it would be?"  

He thought for a moment.  "Yeah, a lot of it is.  I mean, the
audiences are fantastic and it definitely has perks, but the traveling
and all that goes with it can be hell at times.  The pace can drive
you crazy and it can get really lonely on the road."

She stared into his eyes, smiling.  "Well, I'm really proud of you and
I want you to know that," she said, reaching out to touch his arm.

"Thanks," he said, reveling in how warm he felt in her presence, even
after all these years. "So, enough about me; tell me about what has
been happening with you."

She paused.  "Well, let's see. I thought about going to college, but
that never seemed to work out.  After you left, I thought a lot about
what I wanted to do with my life.  I knew whatever it was; I wanted it
to be meaningful.  I didn't want to spend my days going through the
motions just to get a paycheck, you know?"

He nodded for her to continue.

"So, I ended up getting a job at the retirement home outside of
Westwood.  It doesn't pay much, but I know I'm helping those people."
She smiled as she talked.  "If you could see how those people's eyes
just light up when I show up for work.  It just makes my day to know
I'm making a difference in their lives.  Sometimes, it seems like that
job is the only thing that keeps me centered."

"So what do you do there?"

"Well, my official job is to help out with the office work, the
scheduling and billing, that type of thing.  That takes up most of my
time.  The rest is spent making sure the residents are comfortable,
visiting with them, letting them know they're not alone in the world."

Josh smiled.  "That's great Ashley.  I bet the time you spend with
those people means so much to them."

"Yeah, I think so.  I know it means a lot to me."

So what about this Phil character, tell me about him."

Josh felt a certain sense of relief watching her face drain of emotion
when Phil's name came up.

"Well, I met Phil through a mutual friend of my Mom's about five or so
years ago.  He's an architect and works out of our home."  She paused.
"What else do you want to know?"

"Well, you mentioned no kids.  What happened there?  You always talked
about having kids, what changed your mind."

The look of elation she had when describing her work at the retirement
home faded as quickly as it had appeared.  She stared down at her lap,
twisting her wedding band back and forth on her finger.  

"Well, my mind never changed.  I still want kids someday but Phil
doesn't.  We talked about the idea before we got married and, at that
point, he said he was open to it, but didn't really think he wanted
any.  I guess I thought I could change him, or that I would change how
I felt.  But now I'm realizing I can't - it's just too much a part of
me to want to be a Mother," she said, shifting uncomfortably in her
seat.  "I've thought a lot about who I am as a person -- who Phil is
-- why we got married, what we want out of life -- all that kind of
stuff.  I realize now that, while I hate to admit it -- I don't think
I ever really loved him."  She turned to Josh.  "Don't get me wrong,
he's a good man and he has been a good provider.  I just don't think I
ever really loved him," she said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Then why did you get married?" Josh asked, a bit confused.

She thought for a moment.  "Security I guess.  After you left, I was
so lonely, Josh.  I started worrying that I would be alone forever,
that I would end up being an old maid stuck in this little bitty town.
When Phil came along I saw a way out.  I saw security without leaving
Duffy.  Sounds silly doesn't it?"

"No, it doesn't sound silly."

"But I'm over that and now and know I need to get on with my life and
do what's best for me."  Her lip began to quiver and she stared away
from Josh and out the window, brushing the tears that were forming in
her eyes.  "I've made the decision to wait until the holidays are over
and then I'm going to tell Phil I want a divorce."

Josh could sense how difficult it was for her say those words and how
difficult it must have been for her to make that decision.  "I'm
sorry, Ashley, I really am," he whispered, reaching across and
squeezing her shoulder in reassurance.

"So am I," she said, shuffling in her seat and drying her eyes.  "But
you live and learn, right?  I just hate to think something as
important as my marriage has failed."  

"Well, I think you said it best.  It has been a learning experience
and it really wasn't a true marriage from the beginning."

She smiled and nodded, squeezing his hand.  "Enough of this sad stuff,
so what about you!  I see no wedding band," she said, glancing down
and rubbing his empty ring finger.  "Too busy with all those
groupies?" she asked with a wink, reaching in her purse and pulling
out a tissue.

"No, the groupie thing was never for me.  There's something about
having a woman who also had  the last hundred musicians that passed
through town that kind of reduces the appeal, you know?"  She laughed
as he continued. "Truth is, I just haven't met anybody that..."

He stopped in mid-sentence.  "That what?" she asked.

Josh took a long sip of his beer and stared out at the snowflakes that
had started to fall.  He wondered if he should up and say it. 

"I haven't met anybody that compares to you," he finally admitted.

She smiled and looked down. "That sounded wonderful, Josh, but
honestly, I have a tough time believing a man in your position, with
all your experiences, has still been thinking about me stuck here in
little old Duffy County."

"You want proof?" he asked, reaching into his back pocket and pulling
out his wallet.  He opened the section holding the pictures and turned
to the first one, handing it to her.  

"Oh my god," she whispered, covering her mouth as she stared at the
worn out photo.  "We look so young.  You didn't even have peach fuzz
in this picture," she giggled.  "And look at my hairstyle!  This was
taken at our Senior Prom, wasn't it?" 

"That's right.  It's the only picture I have of you  --- of us, I
mean.  You know -- you haven't changed that much over the years.  Your
eyes are still as blue as I remembered."

She looked at him skeptically.

"I know, that sounds like a line, but I'm sincere," he added.

"Why do you still have this?  In your wallet I mean?"

"I've carried it with me ever since I left Duffy."

She stared down at the picture.  "You remember that night we took this
picture?" she asked suggestively.

"Oh, I remember every detail."

"How much did you have to pay that guy at that hotel not to tell
anybody in town?"

"Gosh, how much was it?  A hundred dollars I think; and that was big
money back then.  But I knew you wanted the first time to be special.
Trust me, it was the best hundred dollars I ever spent." He paused.
"Toast?" he said, lifting his beer.  

She made one last glance at the picture and handed the wallet back to
Josh. "To innocence," she said with a smile, raising her drink. 

They sat silent for a moment, the words becoming harder to find.  He
didn't want this moment to end and sensed that she didn't either, but
both of them knew it needed to, sooner more than later. 

"Well, I guess I better stick to my original promise of not keeping
you out too late," Josh said.

He reached for the ignition key when Ashley placed her hand on his.

"You know what I would really like for Christmas this year?" she
asked.

"What?" 

She reached up to the fake mistletoe that Stephanie had hanging from
her rear view mirror, gently taking it down.  She held it up to the
top of the van's cabin.

"I would like a kiss under the mistletoe from you Josh Ambrose."

Josh sat, staring deep into her blue eyes; her beautiful, blue eyes.
He could still get lost in those eyes, just as he did so many years
before.  Whatever hesitance he felt passed quickly. He leaned towards
her until his lips brushed against hers, until he felt her fingers
gently caressing his whiskers.   Her lips were as soft as he
remembered, just as he had thought about so many times before.
Without trying, one kiss turned into two, then a third.  She placed
her hand on his neck in a gentle caress as his hands wrapped around
her back.  Their passion was increasing at an alarming rate, causing
Ashley to pull back into her seat.

"I'm sorry," she said, embarrassed and out of breath.

"For what?" 

"For that.  I just got a little carried away.  You can take me back
now."

"Well, I'm not sorry," Josh added.  She smiled a relieved smile.  He
reached out and touched her arm, slipping the mistletoe from her
fingers.  "I haven't got MY Christmas present yet," he said grinning
and twisting the plastic plant.  

She looked at the mistletoe in his fingers.  He watched a mischievous
grin appear across her lips as she glanced into the empty cargo bay of
the van, then back to Josh.  "You know - all those times we were at
this drive in - you were always trying to talk me into getting in the
back seat with you..."

Josh laughed out loud.  "Yeah, I remember those days."  He paused,
waiting for her to finish her thought, but she instead just stared at
him with that Cheshire grin.  "You're not serious?" he added.
"There's a bunch of pine needles back there."

She looked back and thought for a moment, then reached down to grab
the edge of the blanket Stephanie had originally laid down when they
had gone shopping for the tree.  "Shake this out and turn it over -
poof - the needles are gone," she said.

Josh laughed again. He sat, almost stalling as he wondered if she
could be serious.  'One way to find out...' he thought to himself,
jumping from the van and moving to the rear.  He opened the hatch and
grabbed the blanket.   Carefully he slid it out the back and shook it,
sending pine needles flying into the winter night air.  Ashley was
turning on the radio and searching for a station, stopping with the
first one that was playing Christmas music.  She climbed through the
captain's chairs into the back of the van and sat watching Josh as he
folded the blanket into squares.

"You're serious about this, aren't you?" he said grinning.

"What, did you think you were calling my bluff?"

He laughed as he climbed into the van, pulling the hatch closed behind
him before turning to her.  She had removed her baseball cap and
ponytail and was fluffing out her thick strawberry blonde hair.  God
she was beautiful.  She slipped off her coat and he followed, slipping
off his.  The sound of the Christmas carols poured from the rear
speakers, filling the cargo bay with seasonal spirit.  She smiled and
held up her hand.

"I think you forgot this," she said, dangling the mistletoe from her
fingers.

Josh took the mistletoe and moved towards her as he leaned against one
arm and nestled close to his first true love.  As impromptu as this
moment was, it didn't feel awkward in the least. They both knew why
they were there; they both knew how right this moment was.  He grazed
her lips gently with his own, drawing her into a passionate kiss.
They continued kissing, gently, then faster, then gently again,
exploring every contour of one another's mouth.  He finally pulled
back, looking deep into her eyes.

"You always were the best kisser," he whispered.

"And you were always so sappy," she said smiling as she leaned into
him again.

This time their kisses only lasted a moment before his mouth began a
slow descent of her neckline.  Her head moved in gentle circles with
the movement of his beard against her skin, her breathing becoming
slightly irregular.  He moved down until his cheek grazed the wool of
her sweater, then back up again until he tasted the soft skin of her
earlobe. 

"That tickles," she giggled.

His heart began to beat faster as he felt her breasts pressing against
his chest.  He continued the sensuous pouring of his mouth across her
skin until she pushed him backwards.  

"It's getting too warm in here," she said with a smile.  

She reached to the bottom of her wool sweater and pulled it up and
over her head.  She was wearing a button down blouse underneath and
Josh watched her breasts pushing against the material as she raised
her arms over her head.  Freed from the sweater, she moved closer to
him, resuming their kissing.  She reached and took his hand in her
own, resting it against her cheek as she unbuttoned the top few
buttons of her shirt before guiding his fingers in between the open
lapels and against her skin.

Josh glanced from her eyes to the open area of her shirt as he created
slow circles with his fingertips before releasing the additional
buttons, one at a time.  One after another the buttons fell, revealing
a bit more of her beautiful body.  He reached the bottom and she sat
up, finishing with the last few herself, drawing her shirt back over
her shoulders and down her arms as she tilted her head back to expose
her breasts in the pale light of the van's interior. 

His heart raced as he moved into a kneeling position facing her.  She
was sitting upright, resting her weight on her calf muscles, tracing
her own fingers along the edge of her brassiere. They watched together
the movements of her own caress, her shoulder length strawberry blonde
locks now washing across the front of her shoulders.   

"What do you want me to do next for your Christmas present?" she
giggled.  

Josh laughed in return.  "My Christmas present?"

"Uh huh.  Anything you want."  Josh had no hope of hiding the grin
that was crossing his face.

"Wow... where's the shy Ashley I remember?"

For a moment her expression changed from one of playfulness to
concern.  "Do you miss the shyer Ashley?" 

"No, absolutely not," Josh added quickly.  "If you want the truth,
this is insanely erotic."

Ashley bit her lip as she smiled.  "I know, it is for me too.  I just
feel so -- I don't know, so comfortable around you Josh.  I always
have."

"Well, I don't remember you being THIS comfortable around me; but I
can tell you I like it."

She giggled.  "So want do you want me to do next?"

Josh smiled.  "Unbutton your pants.  But do it slowly."

She smiled again as she pulled the belt loose from the buckle. Josh
scooted backwards and leaned against the inner cabin of the van,
watching her every move.   She worked loose the snap of her jeans and
pulled the flaps open until the white of her underwear was exposed.
Her eyes closed as she slid the tips of her fingertips slowly back and
forth, first across the top of her panty line and then underneath and
inside.  Josh could hear her drawing air through her teeth as she
pushed her hand deeper into her underwear, drawing it in and out in
rhythmical movements.

Quickly she regained her composure, pulling her hand from her pants.
"Hmmm, sorry.  I was getting a bit carried away AGAIN," she giggled.
"What's next?"

Josh leaned back against the window, considering her offer.  "Take
your pants down a little further -- so I can see more of you."

She paused, bending down to look out the window of the van. "I never
thought to check if somebody can see me in here.  I don't think they
can, do you?"

Josh laughed.  "No, I don't think so. It's not very crowded tonight,"
he said, grinning in anticipation. 

She wrestled with the sides of her jeans in the confined space, but
managed to drag them, panties and all, to the mid-point of her thighs.
She leaned up slowly, looking at Josh sitting across from her.   She
reached down and ran her hands between her legs, along the edges of
the strawberry colored triangle visible in the dim light of the van.
She leaned her head back allowing her hair to fall between her
shoulder blades, lowering her face once again to stare at him as her
fingers reached deeper between her legs.

"Having you watch me like this is making me very excited," she moaned,
her hands moving with more force.

"You have no idea what it's doing to me," Josh groaned as he wiggled
in his seated position.

He couldn't take any more.  Easing up from his place against the
window, he crawled towards her, her movements slowing as she noticed
him approaching.  Reaching around her back he unfastened the clasp of
her bra, pulling it gently forward and releasing it.  His hands began
at the crest of her ribcage and started upward, under the cups and
across her breasts, squeezing gently as his lips reached out to meet
with hers.

With one hand caressing her breast, his other slid down her stomach
and between her legs.  Slowly he used his fingertips to graze her
moistness, working with certain finesse in finding her pleasure point
as she wrapped her arms around his neck, rocking her hips against his
hand.  

"Oh Josh... that feels good."

His fingers glided in effortlessly and he felt her shudder as his hand
slid around to support her lower back as he drove deep inside, then
withdrew, only to delve deeper inside again.   As her body accepted
his entry, he moved from one finger to two, exploring all of her.  Her
moans were growing louder, breaking the melody of the Christmas carols
seeping from the stereo.  He sensed she was nearing a climax when she
grabbed his hand, forcing him to stop. 

"Oh have I missed you," she whispered, glancing in his eyes, then
downward as she started to work on the belt that held closed his
trousers.  She moved with an animalistic aggression, working the
buttons loose and forcing her hand deep inside and against his arousal
as her mouth moved against his neck.  

"Pull em down," she growled into his ear.  

Josh reveled in the sensation of her mouth combing his skin as he
worked his own jeans to a mid-thigh level.  His arousal sprang forward
and Ashley was ready with both hands, using one to wrap his length,
the other to reach down between his legs in gentle squeezes.  She slid
her fingers up and down his width, gently dancing across the sensitive
head with her fingertips in small, teasing circles.  He looked down to
see her gripping her fist tight around his stiff cock, stroking faster
and harder.  Her eyes traced upwards to his and they maintained locked
eye contact, neither wavering, as they bathed in the brewing passion.

"My, you're happy to be here," she giggled.

Josh stopped the movement of her hand.  "Let's lay down," his final
words, "before it's too late."

Gently guiding her to her back, she lay out, staring up at him as she
lifted her bottom high enough to allow him to slide her jeans down and
off.  He followed with a slow descent of her panties, adding them to
the growing pile of clothes, before slipping off his own jeans and
shirt and joining her.

They embraced with their whole bodies, interlocking limbs, bathing in
the sensation of skin-on-skin, with barely a moment passing before
their hands were again exploring one another's most erogenous zones.
Their moans grew in unison, filling the air as they became consumed
with the moment, taking their passion, their intimacy, further and
further.

'Lie back," she moaned, rolling over and straddling Josh's hips.  

She stared down at him from above, scratching her fingernails down his
chest and across his nipples in a wave, finishing with an embrace of
his stiff cock.  She used one hand to support her weight, the other to
deliver a slow, methodical stroke, running his length from top to
bottom.  He felt the flutter of his eyelids slow long enough to open
his eyes and meet with hers, to see the delicious smile on her face as
she quickened her pace and started to lower her mouth towards him.  

"Does that feel good, Josh?"

"Uh huh," he answered with something between a stutter and a giggle.  

He looked up to see her lips pass over the fist that held him outward,
the ends of her long red hair tickling his stomach.  Her tongue moved
near the middle of his chest and started a slow descent.  She opened
her mouth and wrapped her lips slowly around his sensitive head,
enveloping and withdrawing like she was savoring a melting ice cream
cone. Her tongue continued where her lips had left off, running erotic
circles around the flair of his swollen ridges.  With one final look
into his eyes, she wrapped her mouth around him, taking more of his
hardness between her cheeks, before peeling slowly back again.

Josh felt his thighs beginning to tremble as she moved her head down
further, consuming more of his length.  Her mouth was warm and soft;
her tongue tickling as it danced around the sensitive knob snugly
wedged within her cheeks.  He lifted enough to watch her as she locked
her lips around him and reeled back before plunging again and
engulfing him to the point where her nose brushed back and forth
against his pubic hair.  She shook her cheeks gently from side to
side, withdrawing, then devouring again in more sweeping, up and down
movements.  Finally, she paused for a moment of oxygen, pumping his
passion with her fist.

"How ya doing up there," she asked teasingly as she stroked him in
quick successions.

Josh mouthed a flurry of silent, indistinguishable words. 

"More?" she asked.

He grunted a few short nods.  

With one last smile she returned her mouth to him, wasting now time
and no energy.  Her head and mouth fell up and down in quick thrusts.
He felt the rising and knew he was close, clamoring for her shoulders
in an attempt to signal.

"Oh no you don't," she gasped, lifting her head with not a moment to
spare.  

She moved her body up to straddle his hips.  One hand caressed his
mouth as her other reached between her legs to guide his cock towards
her.  He watched her delicious expression, feeling her nails digging
into his chest as she slowly sat back on to him, watching her eyes
close as he bathed in the sensation of her warmth surrounding her
arousal. As she leaned all the way back, he lifted his hips from the
bed of the van allowing him to vanish inside her.

"Oh yes," she groaned quietly as Josh ran his hands down her hips and
against her buttocks to guide the movement of their bodies.

Her one hand met with his and they interlocked fingers as the other
gently caressed his mouth.  She lifted and rocked her hips back and
forth against him in delicious rhythm.  The ecstasy of the moment of
was overtaking Josh and he released his hand from Ashley's long enough
to reach upwards and cup her breasts.  Her hands covered his as their
bodies rocked with more force.

"I'm close Josh," she moaned.

He squeezed his palms hard into the soft flesh of her breasts as he
felt her fingernails digging into the back of hands.  He looked up to
see her jaw tense, her teeth clenching, her eyes shut.  As he felt his
own heat building, she tightened around him, her thighs squeezing hard
against his hips.

"I love you Ashley," his last words as he felt their bodies cross over
at the exact same moment.

He grabbed her hips and with a final movement, pushed her across the
border of orgasm.  She lifted and fell in a flurry of quick thrusts
before falling on top of him as the pace of their bodies slowed, until
she lay motionless on top of him.

"I love you too Josh," she finally whispered, her mouth pressed into
his chest.

They rested for a few minutes before Josh raised his hand and tilted
his watch to the light that was peering in through the fogged up
window.  

"What time do you need to be home?" he whispered.

"Soon.  But I don't want this moment to end.  Can we just lay here a
while longer?"

"We can lay here all night if you wish," Josh replied, brushing her
hair away from her face.

Eventually she eased herself up and to the side.  They dressed in
silence, with Ashley finishing by readjusting her ponytail and
baseball cap as Josh backed out of the rear hatch of the van.  He
moved around to the driver's seat, reaching across to give her one
last kiss as they waited for the engine to warm.
 
"Remember your old Malibu?" she asked as they made their way out of
the drive-in.

"I do."

"You know what I loved best about that car?"

"What?"

"I could sit right next to you when you would drive me home."

Josh smiled, remembering exactly what she meant. He flipped the
collapsible armrest of the captain's chair up so that Ashley could
lean into him as they drove.

They eased into the parking lot of the Safeway.  The lights were out
and the only remaining car was Ashley's.  Josh pulled up a couple of
spaces away and turned off the lights and engine of the van.  

"Thank you for a wonderful Christmas Eve," she said.

"Thank you.  It was wonderful seeing you."   He reached across and
applied a long, gentle kiss to her cheek.  

"It was good seeing you too, Josh."

The moment seemed to drag on forever, until she grabbed the handle of
the car door and started to exit.  Josh reached and took her arm.

"Ashley, don't go."  She turned to him, an uncertainty in her eyes.
"Ashley, I'm sorry, but I just can't let it end like this again.  I
don't want to lose you like I almost lost you the last time.  Our
meeting tonight was fate.  Ok, maybe that's a stretch, but we're meant
to be together.  Tonight and everything we shared tonight made that
clear."

She paused, staring at him.  "What are you saying Josh?"

"I'm saying, come back with me to Colorado.  I'm saying lets live the
dreams together we talked about so many times when we were kids.  We
can do that now Ashley, you and me.  I can provide for you, anything
you want. Most importantly, I love you Ashley, I never stopped loving
you, and I never want to be apart again."    

She took his hands in hers, the tears welling in her eyes.  "I love
you too Josh and there's a part of me that never wants to let you go."

"I hear a 'but' coming on."

She smiled.  "But there's another part of me that thinks running from
one relationship to another is a very good idea right now.  The thing
I need most in my life right now is some space and some time to decide
what it is I really want, to figure out who I really am as a person."

"I'll give you that space.  I'll give you all the space you need."

She smiled, cradling his cheek in her palm.  "I know you would Josh,
that's not it.  I just need to sort things out and I need to be here
to do that, close to my roots, close to my family.  I still have my
job at the retirement home.  Those people still need me.  I know
that's not forever and I don't want it to be forever, but like I said
before, that part of my life helps me to stay centered.  I need to be
centered right now Josh.  Do you understand?"

"I think so.  How about if I moved back here to be with you?"

"Josh, we both know that would never work.  You wouldn't be happy here
- especially with the lifestyle you're accustomed to.   Six months
wouldn't pass and you would be aching to leave, just like you couldn't
wait to leave when you did live here.  This place is not you, Josh.
The lights, the stage, your audiences - that's you."

He stared at her in silence, realizing that as much as he hated to
admit it, she was right.  Right about her need to stay and sort things
out and right that this small town lifestyle was not for him. "Will I
see you again?" he asked, the tears welling in his own eyes.

She paused.  "God, I hope so," she said, reaching across to hug him,
placing her head on his shoulder.  She leaned into him as he felt her
begin to sob uncontrollably.  He held her in his arms with all the
strength and willpower he could muster until she leaned back up and
brushed his cheek one last time.

"I have to go."

Josh nodded silently.  She opened the van door and made her way out,
running across the parking lot to her car.  As Josh watched her get in
and start the engine, the snow that was falling turned into rain,
spotting and tracing down the windshield.  He sat motionless until he
saw the taillights of her car easing out of the Safeway parking lot
and disappearing into the distance.

June 6, 1998

Working had always been a sort of therapy for Josh.   He realized that
even though he didn't have Ashley by his side, he knew he was still
fortunate enough to make a living doing something he truly loved.  As
soon as Christmas had passed he contacted the record company and told
them he wanted to start earlier than usual on the new album.  He
figured that immersing himself in a new project would help him to look
forward, and not backward.  It would also force his mind on something
other then Ashley.

He eased himself on to the piano bench and stretched his fingers as he
discussed the night's arrangement with his guitar player.  The huge
spotlights were blaring down on the stage like a noon day sun,
increasing the temperature of the room by more than a few degrees.  He
could see the silhouette of several figures just on the horizon of the
stage moving about in a hurried pace.  

 "Josh is starting to sweat!  Can we have some powder please?" yelled
his publicist.

A young, attractive girl raced in from what seemed like nowhere.  She
first blotted Josh's forehead with a big puff, then applied some type
of powder with yet another.

"This will help," she smiled, staring from eye to eye as she dabbed
his brow.   "You know, you're even cuter in person then you are in the
magazines," she said, pausing in between dabs with the powder puff.

"Thanks," Josh replied, returning her smile.  She was attractive, but
bottom line - she wasn't Ashley.

"Ok!  We're coming on in ten," the deep voice shouted from behind the
lights.  

The sound of theme music started, overcome by the sound of the canned
applause tape that provided the illusion of a much larger studio
audience than the one that was actually present.  From his seated
position behind the piano Josh could see the show's host looking down
to ensure his feet where situated squarely over the masking tape marks
fixed to the stage floor.  He turned to look towards Josh and nodded
in a signal that they were almost ready.   Josh glanced at his band,
then returned a quick nod.

"And five - four - three - two - one!" came the loud voice from behind
the bright lights.

"Welcome back," the host said, speaking towards the bright red light
illuminated on top of the large camera.  "My next guest has stormed
the music scene over the past two years, generating not only two top
10 singles on the pop charts, but crossing over to land a top spot on
the Country charts at the very same time.   His latest album, 'Jagged
Hearts', will hit record stores next week.  Here to perform his first
single from that record, 'Will I Ever Love Again' is Josh Ambrose!"

Josh heard the combined roar of the recorded audience mixed with the
applause of the people in the studio.  He felt the large, rectangular
Cyclops with the big red eye swivel in his direction, bringing the
eyes of millions of viewers bearing down on him.  He smiled and nodded
at the introduction, looking first to the drummer to count off the
tempo before slowly pressing his fingers on the ivory piano keys.  He
flowed through the solo introduction and leaned into the microphone as
he sang the words that told the story of his unexpected reunion.

*****

Met my old lover in a grocery store,
The snow was falling Christmas Eve,
I stole behind her in the frozen foods,
And I touched her honestly.

She didn't recognize my face at first,
But then her eyes grew open wide,
She went to hug me and she spilled her purse,
And we laughed until we cried.

I took her groceries to the check out stand,
The food was totaled up and bagged,
We stood there lost in our embarrassment,
As the conversation dragged.

We went to have ourselves a drink or two,
But couldn't find an open bar,
We bought a six pack at the liquor store,
And we drank it in the car.

We drank a toast to innocence,
We drank a toast to now,
We tried to look beyond the emptiness,
But neither one knew how.

She said she married her an architect,
He kept her warm and safe and dry,
She'd like to say that she loved the man,
But she didn't like to lie.

I said the years had been a friend to her,
And that her eyes were still as blue,
And in those eyes I wasn't sure if I,
Saw doubt or gratitude.

She said she saw me in the record store,
And that I must be doing well,
I said the audience was heavenly,
But the traveling was hell.

We drank a toast to innocence,
We drank a toast to now,
We tried to reach beyond the emptiness,
But neither one knew how.

We drank a toast to innocence,
We drank a toast to time,
We're living in our eloquence,
Another Auld Ang Sine.

The beer was empty and our tongues were tired,
Running out of things to say,
She gave a kiss to me as she got out,
And I watched her drive away.

Just for a moment I was back at school,
And felt that old familiar pain,
And as I turned to make my way back home,
The snow turned into rain.

*****

He finished the song and as he stood up, squeezed his eyes tight to
hide the tears that were gathering. Carrying a copy of the new CD, the
host made his over to Josh.  They spent a few minutes introducing the
band members before moving to the living room setup at the far end of
the stage.  Josh took one of the overstuffed chairs and the show's
host took another.

"Well, it's great to have you back, Josh."

"It's great to be back, Rick.  Thanks."

"That was quite a song.  I'm sure the audience is curious if there's
any truth to the lyrics?"

Josh forced a laugh.  "Well, I suppose there's some truth in all the
lyrics I write.  Most come from some aspect of personal experience,
although personal experience doesn't always fit neatly into a song.
The end result definitely mixes in some imagination."

"So what has been happening since we last saw you."

"Well, work mostly.  The past six months have been spent here in Los
Angeles, writing and recording the new record.  Most of last year was
spent touring, with the only break being some time I spent with my
family over the holidays."

"This album is hot on the heels of a very successful last effort.  Do
you see another tour in the works?"

"Well, we've talked about it, but that's a bit up in the air right
now.  Actually, I had planned on taking a break, but decided to just
work straight through.  Originally we were going to hold off recording
until the end of this year.  I'm not sure I'm up for a tour, but we'll
see."

"Workaholic?"

Josh laughed.  "Yeah, that probably has something to do with it.  And
it keeps me out of trouble."

 "Well, listen, I could sit and talk all night, but there's no
guarantee I'll ask what your fans want to hear.  What do you say we
take some phone calls?"

"Sure," Josh replied.

"Great; Dan from Portland.  You're on the air with Josh Ambrose."

"Hey Josh, how's it going?" 

"It's going good Dan.  How are you?"

"I'm great.  Hey, first wanted to say I'm a huge fan.   I caught your
live show when you were here in Portland last year and it was one of
the best I've seen."

"Well, thanks."
 
"I was wondering.  Do you make a conscious effort to write songs that
can crossover from one chart to the next?"

Josh thought for a moment.  "Well, that's a good question Dan, but no,
actually I don't.  I write songs that I would like to listen to, with
the hope that somebody else will like to listen to them also.   But I
don't set out to write a pop tune, or a country tune -- nothing like
that.  The record company plays some part in deciding where they want
to focus the promotion, but I just write what I like and hope that
works."

"Well keep up the good work.  I'm looking forward to the new record."

"Thanks for calling," Josh added.

The host took over again.  "Do you think your concert audiences have
changed since you've started crossing over to different charts?"

"That's hard to say.  I see more families at my concerts these days.
I'd probably say yes, I have noticed some changes."

"Ok, our next caller is Ashley.  Go ahead Ashley, you're on with Josh
Ambrose."

Josh's heart skipped a beat when he heard the name.

"Hi Josh." He sat silent waiting for the caller to say something else.

"Josh?" the host prodded when he didn't respond.

"Yeah, hi Ashley," Josh replied, recovering quickly.    

"I can't believe I actually got through," she said.   Josh could hear
the familiar grin in her voice.  "I'm the president of your fan club
right here in your home town of Duffy."

Josh laughed out loud.  "Are you now?"  His heart was racing and he
could feel a grin spanning from ear to ear.

"I sure am.  Gosh, there's so much I want to ask you."

The host interrupted.  "Ashley, we need to ask you to be brief.  We're
almost out of time."

"Oh, ok," she replied.  "Well, I wondered if you do tour this year, do
you think you'll be passing through Duffy?  I would love to see you
perform - again I mean."

Josh fought hard to suppress a laugh, knowing there was more to her
question than the obvious.  "Well, anything is possible Ashley.  But
even if I don't make it out to Duffy, I'm sure we'll play  Coswell.
Maybe you come and see me perform there? "

"I would really like that.   Also, I'm the editor of the newspaper
here in Duffy.  I was wondering if we could arrange an interview.  You
know, for all your hometown fans."

Josh paused.  "Sure," he replied, a bit puzzled.  He turned to the
host.  "Can she stay on the line and pass her number on to somebody?"

The host shrugged his shoulders.  He glanced to one of the faceless
bodies behind the edge of the stage.   "Sure, I guess.  Tim, can you
take this call when we're finished?" He turned back to Josh.  "Ok!
Well, listen.  It's been great having you back and we wish you much
success with the new album.  Josh Ambrose everybody!  We'll be right
back!"

Josh could hear the familiar theme music blaring as they went into the
commercial.   He stood, shook the host's hand, and made his way to his
publicist at the side of the stage.  

"Did you get that number?"

"What number?" she replied.

"The number from that last caller!" 

"No, I didn't get that number, Josh.  We don't have time to be doing
interviews with hometown newspapers.  Listen, I think I've got Leno
lined up..."

Without thinking he grabbed her by the arms with both hands, stopping
her in mid-sentence.  "Melanie, I need that number."  Clearly
startled, she stared up at him until he finally loosened his grip.
"Please," he added.

"Ok, ok.  I think that guy over there was the one who took the call.
I'll go ask him."

"Never mind, I got it," Josh said, making his way to the stagehand.
"Are you Tim?"

"Yeah, I am.  Hey listen, I'm a great fan."

"Thanks.  That number from that last caller.  Did you get it?"

"Yeah, but your friend over there said you didn't need..."

"Never mind what she said.  Where is it?"

"I threw it in that trashcan over there."

Josh grabbed the plastic container and dumped it on a nearby tabletop.
He sifted through the pieces of paper wadded inside until he found the
scrap with 'Ashley - Editor' scrawled on it. He made his way back to
the greenroom where he remembered there was a telephone.  Holding the
receiver in one hand, the scrap of paper in the other, he punched the
buttons in sequence.  His heart raced as he listened to the ringing on
the other end.

"Hello?"

"Can I speak to the editor in chief please?"

There was a giggling on the other end of the line.  "Hi!  I can't
believe this.  I can't believe I saw you on TV and got to talk to
you!"

"Well if I had these odds all the time I'd spend more time in Vegas.
What's with this editor of the paper stuff?"

"It was all I could think of as an excuse to get you my phone number.
Hey, it worked!"

Josh laughed out loud.  "Yes, it did.  So how are you?"

"I'm holding up, how are you?"

"Oh, holding up on this end too."  There was an awkward silence.  "So
what, were you channel surfing when you saw the show?"

"Alright, alright, I saw it in the TV guide and I've been waiting
since Sunday.  I even made popcorn."

Josh laughed.  She was so cute.  "God Ashley, it's so good to hear
your voice."

"It's good to hear yours too. You know -- that song you sang made me
cry."

"Did you like it?"

"Very much.  It was funny, though.  When you started singing it and I
realized the lyrics; I wondered how you were going to explain the
whole story on national TV."

Josh laughed.  "Artistic privilege.  I get to leave out the parts that
don't rhyme."  She laughed with him.  "How are things at home?" he
asked.

"Well, the divorce was final a month ago.  I'm ready to move on with
the rest of my life."

"I bet.  So what's next."

"Well." She paused without continuing.

"Well?" Josh prodded.

"Well, I've been thinking of doing some traveling.  I know you said
you might be touring soon.  I was wondering if there might be an extra
place to sleep on that tour bus of yours?"

"You're kidding, right?  What about those small town roots, what about
your job?"

"Well, I've had a lot to think about in the past six months.  Yes,
keeping my roots in Duffy is important, but Duffy isn't going
anywhere, and as long as I stay here, neither am I.  I figure my roots
will always be my roots, whether I live here or not.  As for the job,
I always knew that was not forever.  Besides, how often is it I get
the chance to play groupie for a famous musician?  That is, if you
still want to be with me."

"Ashley. Of course I still want you.  But I'm afraid there's some bad
news."

"What's that?" she said hesitantly.

"There are no extra bunks in the tour bus.  I guess we'll have to
double up."

He could hear her smiling on the other end of the phone.  "How long
will it take you to pack?" he asked.

"How long will it take you to get here?" she replied.

His publicist appeared in the doorway, tapping her watch.  

"Listen, I have to go, but I'll call you first thing in the morning
and we'll make the necessary arrangements," Josh said.

"I can't wait Josh.  I love you."

"I love you too."  He rested the handset on the receiver quietly.  He
stood to leave and the makeup girl he had met earlier appeared the
doorway.

"Hi again," she said.

"Hi again yourself," Josh replied.

"Listen - this is really awkward and I know you get these kind of
offers all the time.  But -- I was wondering if you would like to have
dinner with me tonight?"

Josh smiled and she smiled in return.  "What was your name?"

"Susie," she said.  

"Susie, I am very flattered and very much appreciate the offer, but I
have somebody special waiting for me at home.  Thanks anyway."

"Oh, ok," she said, the disappointment obvious in her voice.  "Well,
she's a lucky woman."

"Thanks, but actually -- I think I'm the lucky one.  Especially
tonight."

"Well, can I show you out?" she asked.

"I'd appreciate that," he said as they made their way out of the
greenroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I always wait until the end of my stories to make my shameless request
for feedback, figuring if you got this far you enjoyed it..:)

If you did, or even if you didn't, can I ask that you drop me a short
line and let me know. Feedback is what keeps me motivated to write.
It's also my only means for improving.

Thanks!