======== Path: news1.sunbelt.net!mel.hargray.com!news-out.internetmci.com!news.internetMCI.com!newsfeed.internetmci.com!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.cftnet.com!ns2.mainstreet.net!sloth.swcp.com!news.dgsys.com!dgs.dgsys.com!not-for-mail From: John_Carter@docs.dgsys.com Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories Subject: The Journey By John Carter Date: 3 Nov 1996 12:08:25 -0500 Organization: Digital Gateway Systems Lines: 649 Sender: jvogel@dgs.dgsys.com Message-ID: <55iji9$pja@DGS.dgsys.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: dgs.dgsys.com A story written at the request of a fan, in the spirit and set in the world John Norman created -- Gor. ------------------------------------------------------------------- The Journey / by John Carter She was disoriented. She would percieve sensations but couldn't organize them. She was walking. For some reason, she didn't dare stop, even when fatigued. There was forest. There were others. There was the sun on her back and occasionally the wind on her body. She seemed to come in and out of awareness and not question what was happening. Each time she approached awareness she seemed to be able to put more together. The others near her were also women. She became aware of their nudity before she realized her own. It didn't bother, but it seemed worthy of note like finding yourself on the wrong road or ... but then she slid back. There were hands moving her to begin walking again. Women's hands. They were for the most part gentle. She looked ahead and saw a bronzed bottom with no hint of a tan line swaying ahead of her. She was carrying something, a bundle that was not terribly bulky or terribly heavy. Ahead of her were the backs of several naked women, each carrying something. Her wrists had leather bracelets on them, several inches wide. Her right hand was supporting her bundle on her shoulder. Her left hand, she noticed, had a rope going through a ring on the bracelet. It was not tied. She could go closer to the woman in front of her or fall back, but not leave. She knew somehow to fear trying to fight it, to fear pulling away. She continued walking. She didn't question what was happening. That seemed to be beyond her. She simply observed. Toward evening, it had been just past noon when she became aware, a voice called directions to them and they filed into a clearing near a slowly moving stream. Several of the women had a vacant stare when she looked at them. About half seemed much more alert. There were three men and perhaps a dozen women, the number didn't seem important to her yet. One of the men directed one of the more alert women, calling her Dina, to do something. She disconnected three women from the line and took them to the stream. Dina began to wash them, everywhere. That seemed odd to her. She didn't yet know her name, but it seemed out of the normal scheme of things for a woman to be rubbing another's breasts, another's bottom, and very obviously cleaning her between her legs. What also seemed odd was the lack of interest Dina had in her job. It seemed to be done without passion, activities that she had linked in her mind to passion. The three women stumbled out of the stream led by Dina and she selected three more. She was the third. As she stepped into the stream she was shocked by the coldness of the water. She found herself more aware. She watched Dina wash the dust of the days' walk off of the first two women, a brunet and a redhead. Without seeing her hair, she knew or remembered she was blonde. Dina moved to in front of her and began cupping her hands to hold the water she poured over her body. As the cold water hit her breasts she jerked, a reaction that had been beyond the other two women. Dina noticed and looked into her eyes. Dina spoke softly, "Do not try and escape. They will punish you in ways that will make you regret it. You are special for some reason and they will not harm you if you do not cause them problems. I can tell because of your fiber." As she said this, Dina's hands were on her sex and she tugged at her lips. The sensation was very odd. Her hands flew to her sex and found that her outer lips had been pierced. Between her thighs were cords that did not close her, but would prevent any man from having her. She knew without being told that was the reason for their placement. There were just two, closing off only her opening from penetration, but having no other effect. Until Dina tugged on them, she had not even been aware of their existence. She knew somehow then, with her calves in the cold water of the river, her sex infibrilated, her body naked and being washed by another woman that this was something frightening that had happened to her. It was not just her life, but was a large change from whatever she had known before. Dina still had her hands on her sex, supposedly washing her. Dina ran her finger over her clit sending a wave of pure pleasure over her which confused her as much as it excited her, "This only prevents the men from taking you against your master's wishes. It prevents nothing else." End of pt. 1 -------------- Pt. 2 She was more and more aware each day. She still could remember nothing about her past specifically. Her name eluded her. She _knew_ that the fiber was new. She knew that was not her own choice. She knew also that once, and not terribly long ago she was not a kajira, not one of these women bound in slavery. How she had become one still was beyond her. Had she committed some crime? Had she been taken from her father as payment for a debt? Had she been captured in a raid? She had floated off soon after she had been bathed by the side of the stream. It was the morning and she was travelling again, naked, in line with the others when she regained her senses. Each time she became lucid she kept it longer. It had been over a full day since she'd floated away this time and while she still occasionally felt disoriented, she had not had any more periods of complete discontinuity. Last night was the first night she'd been aware of the sleeping arrangements. The three guides selected women from the group, only those who did not have that far away look in their eyes, to share their beds. Wether the fiber had saved her or her floating in and out had prevented this, but she was sure she had not been taken by them yet. Somehow she knew that. It was her third day when one of the guards noticed her eyes. He grabbed her chin and looked deeply into her eyes. He laughed, "Tonight, caged bird, you will please me." A second guard walked up. "Cridus! You take pleasure with her and your lord will hang your liver from the his rampart!" He laughed while he said it. Cridus met his gaze. "As long as I don't break her fiber, I can have whatever I desire from her. His orders were only that her fiber remain intact." His statement made her cringe. ------------------------------------------------------------ Subject: Pt. 3 Cridus gripped her by one of her bottom cheeks and laughed. He signaled the others to start walking again as he released her. She knew terror. Cridus would not be tender. She knew that from her brief flashes of memory the past days. She grew more and more aware of her nakedness as she continued along. Tired as she was, she was more afraid of making camp that night. She trembled as the lead guard signaled for them to stop. She put down her bundle as she had on other nights and went with two others to gather firewood. As she returned she saw Cridus talking to Dina, giving her orders. Dina turned and approached two other women who did not have the glassy stare. As Dina moved toward her, she wanted to run, to escape somehow. Dina might not be cruel, but she would follow Cridus' instructions to the letter. The two women took her arms and led her to a fallen log. Dina forced her to her knees and the other two bent her over the log, her stomach feeling the rough bark as she was pulled forward. Dina spoke, "Do not resist. If Cridus sees that I do not do as he wishes, all of us will be punished. Especially you." Unsure of what resisance was, she'd offered none so far, she was uncertain of what to reply. Dina shoved her ankles apart. She had to move her knees further apart after a moment. In a very short time she could feel the tension on her fiber. She hadn't tried to move her thighs this far apart and while it did not actually hurt, it did allow her to feel the fiber without reaching between her legs. She expected something to happen between her legs and so was surprised when she felt Dina's hands on her bottom. Dina pulled her cheeks apart. Without conscious thought, she resisted. Dina reached between her legs, took a handful of pubic hair and gave it a sharp tug. She made a stifled yelp. She knew that Dina would make her regret any punishment that came Dina's way. She relaxed her cheeks, closing her eyes against what was happening. Dina slowly forced a finger into her bottom, twisting it from side to side to slip by the natural resistance to penetration common to that organ. She heard Dina spit and the finger was moving more easily. Without warning she felt Dina's hand between her thighs, rubbing her clitoris. The unpleasant sensation in her bottom was combined with the rubbing of her clitoris to form an unconnected whole. Dina kept the motion coordinated until she began to move in response to the finger in her bottom. As she began moving she heard the other two women laugh. She could clearly hear the laughter, but her ears were barely able to hear the words they used to describe them. She began to come. Dina had built it up over several minutes so that it was like floating down a river until you suddenly realize there are rapids and you are in them going much faster. She was unable to stifle a moan. "She moves well, Dina," Cridus' voice came from behind her. She hadn't even known he was watching. "She is too tight. You'll hurt her, Master," Dina volunteered. "Then take care of it, Dina," he replied, "Until then, she will ready me for you." She could hear the gasp and feel Dina's fear through the fingers holding her sex. "Lita here had best be good at preparation or you will pay, Dina. My Lord would not wish his white silk damaged." "Yes Master," Dina said over her shoulder, her finger still burried in her bottom, her hand still absently rubbing her sex. She heard Cridus walk away. "Hold her until I return," Dina said to the other two women. They took hold of her arms with more certainty and pulled her across the log more. One of the women, the red-head on her left, took her face into one hand and pulled her head until they made eye contact. "You can be a little trouble or a great trouble. It is up to you, but in the end, it will not matter." Something in her tone only frightened her more. She knelt there, the bark irritating her stomach, held motionless by the two women, knowing that they had watched her fondled and made to come at their feet. She wanted to cry, to hide, to run away. All were denied her, except the tears. She was afraid of showing her weakness and so kept silent. She was so wrapped up in her own troubles that she didn't hear Dina return. This time the finger wasn't wet. Rather it was greased. It slid into her bottom with even less resistance than before. After a half dozen in and out motions it was removed. Without warning something larger replaced it. She tried to resist but it was already past her sphincter. She could not expell it. She tried to rise, but her arms held her down. In a moment Dina had the intruder fully in her. She'd never felt anything quite like this. Dina attached a belt to her waist and attached chains to the belt. "Release her," Dina commanded. She stood slowly, the intruding implement making itself known with each movement. The chains were small and ran on either side of her pubes and a third one ran between the hills of her bottom, clinging to the bottom of the valley there. "Cridus will want to inspect you," Dina said as she led her forward. Cridus was sitting by a recently lit campfire. He gestured her over and tested the chains and asked Dina what size she'd used. The number meant nothing to her. "Kneel in front of me little lita," Cridus told her. Was that her name, she wondered. She dared not ask. Kneeling made the intruder even more noticible. When she was in front of Cridus, he reached forward and fondled her breast. "Each evening until you are ready to recieve me, you will prepare me with your mouth for Dina's bottom. Dina doesn't like my use of her bottom so, the better a job you do, the less time I will be in there. I imagine that Dina will give you all the encouragement you need to perfect your technique." He suddenly looked at her oddly, "Unless you are already well practiced in this art?" She had no idea. Until that moment she had no memory of even thinking of using her mouth, not to mention her bottom, that way. She had no idea of how to formulate an answer. She knelt there, her thighs apart, his hand on her right breast, unable to make a sound. She heard his laughter through her tears. ---------------------------------------------- Subject: Pt. 4 Cridus continued to laugh. She could only kneel, naked and helpless. "She must be the whitest of white silk. No wonder the Lord wants her for himself," Cridus said as if it was the funniest of jokes. It was then that she realized it happening for the first time. It had happened several times over the past few days, but this was the first one where she was really aware. She was suddenly more lucid. Much of the fog that had covered her thinking seemed to vanish. She realized this had been happening in stages over the past few days. It was then that the last half hour became real to her. She felt, 'it' in her bottom, making itself more known with each movement. She realized that not only had another woman masturbated her while violating her bottom, but that it had taken place in the full view of several others. Certainly Cridus and the two women who had held her arms while it was done. Why hadn't she resisted more? All she could blame was this foggy feeling that kept creeping over her and receding. She had to push the image of her violation out of her mind or fall to the ground in tears. She knew that Cridus would not allow her to do that without punishing her. Somehow she knew his displeasure would be terrible. Dina was kneeling next to her. Dina's hand went to the back of her neck, slowly guiding her towards Cridus' lap. Dina said something about showing her and exposed Cridus' erection. She was confused by this. The lucidity didn't help her here. She would have been better off in more of a fog where she could react without the necessity of thought. Now, watching Dina gripping Cridus' shaft and running it up and down did nothing to calm the turmoil in her mind. The pressure from Dina's hand grew greater. The head was at her lips a second later. Turning her mind away, she took it in her mouth. The salty taste was less unpleasant than she'd expected. "Do a good job or he'll hurt me when he takes his pleasure with me. Do a good job or Dina will make you wish you had," Dina said as she shoved her head to indicate the head should go well past the lips. She sucked on it, pulling her head back and forth. She varried the movement hardly at all. "Faster," She heard Dina say. When she didn't increase the speed enough for Dina's measure, she felt pressure on the thing in her bottom and knew that Dina was encouraging her. She increased her pace. Suddenly, Cridus pulled her face away and moved in a single fast movement to Dina. His slick erect member was placed at the center of Dina's bottom. She could see Dina wince slightly as he entered her. He lasted only a short span of time. He collapsed over Dina. As he sat back, spent, he looked at her, "Little lita, you will wear one of those until you are ready for me, and practice like this each night." Saying that he turned and walked away leaving the two women on the ground in his wake. She turned to Dina and again felt the intruder. ------------------------------------------------------ Subject: pt. 5 She was walking some days later when she realized that she was growing more lucid each day. The first days had been a large difference. She went from a complete fog to a moderately lucid state several days back. When the blank periods went away she thought she was over it. Then she looked at how she had reacted and it came to her that she was still detached much of the time. She had allowed Dina and the others to fondle her, to intrude on her in ways that now, with a much clearer head, she couldn't imagine really happening. It had happened three more times and each time the shame had been greater. She was sure Dina was much more aware of her condition than she was. Dina continued to 'prepare' her with what could be only described as a mission. Dina was also very insistent that her oral skills continued to improve. When she had been lackluster the second evening, Cridus had pushed her aside and taken Dina. He had taken a long time. Dina had looked at her with anger while Cridus impaled her, turning her head to stare at her. When Cridus was done, Dina had scowled at her. When the time to remover her insert had come, Dina had brought 4 of the other women with her. She first immobilized her and then slowly began touching her everywhere. She had tried to ignore the feelings Dina had aroused, but the fog would not return. When she was thoroughly excited, her breathing ragged, Dina had begun pulling the insert in and out of her, stimulating lovemaking, but in her bottom. Dina brought her to the brink of orgasm, and then suddenly (and without stopping her massaging of her sex, released the probe and grabbed her pubic hair, nearly lifting her from the ground. The combination of sensations had been ... indescribable. Dina grabbed her chin and pulled their eyes in line. "Little lita, I will not pay for your mistakes a second time. If you cause me pain again, I will make this seem like the tenderest of lovemaking." She was more afraid of her tone than of a repeat of what she had just done. The following night Cridus had had to forceably pull her mouth from his member. When he entered Dina it was for a short time until he sprayed his seed into her bowels. Dina was much gentler with her that night. Last night she had caused Cridus to erupt in her mouth. Fearful of his reaction, she had swallowed everything though it nearly choked her. Dina had been almost loving when she took it from her that time. When they stopped she had to blink. With the cessation of the monotonous walking, the fog lifted, much more than before. It was then that the full realization of her own nudity came to her. She had known it was different to be naked. This was the first strong realization she had that it was somehow shameful. Other memories came to her, memories of many different clothes, of freedom. There were no images of her real life, only an understanding that at one time she had been free. She was standing there when Dina's two friends took her arms. She wanted to resist, but the pattern of the last days prevented her. She was upset, but at the same time fearful of breaking up what was happening, fearful that something worse might come. This time, Dina's friends pulled her arms in front of her and caused her to kneel, bent over on the ground. Dina shoved her knees apart and began to stroke her sex, rubbing her clitoris to prepare her. As her breathing became more strained, she felt that each of Dina's friends had begun rubbing one of her breasts. In spite of her shame, she felt the arousal in her build. Dina's lubricated finger penetrated her bottom. Her strokes kept time with the finger on her sex. When 'it' slid into her bottom she was appalled to find herself welcoming it. Dina made the movements of the intruder the central point of her excitement. When she reached orgasm, it was as much a result of the penetration as any of the other stimulations. She was mortified at the betrayal by her own flesh. Dina slid it into her to the hilt and attached the chains to her belt, holding it there. "You are almost ready. Cridus will have you tomorrow night," Dina said in a whisper in her ear. -------------------------------------------------------- Subject: The Journey, pt. 6 The news of her coming deflowerment caused a cold knife of fear to go through her center. She felt the fog begin to return. No, not the same fog, but rather one of emotional detachment from what was happening rather than the previous one that she attached to drugs. Dina had made her reach orgasm, all the time stimulating her bottom with the shaft Dina had used to impale her. As she lay there, panting in the after effects of of her orgasm, Dina had told her that tomorrow would be the night. With Dina and the other women holding her and using the rod to impale her there had at least been a kind of detachment. She could not imagine being able to remain separate from Cridus as his belly rubbed on her flanks, his all too well known member penetrating her bottom, being thrust forward by his lunges. Her mind rebelled at the image. She was led over to Cridus later that evening. As she had the last few nights, she exposed his member and, kneeling, she took him into her mouth. She felt him grow as she manipulated him with her tongue. It was more real to her than on the other occasions. Before at least a part of her mind had seen it as a mechanical activity, no different from trying to tie a cherry stem with just her tongue or from pretending with a banana in front of her friends as a lark. She paused for a moment as she suddenly realized that these were clear images from her past. They were disconnected from any supportive memories. What her name had been, what her friends were called, where they had met, but the basic memory of pretending to perform sexually as a kind of in joke was frighteningly clear for a moment. Cridus tugged her hair and she realized that she had stopped. She continued, but she had difficulty focusing on what she was doing. After several moments Cridus spoke to Dina, as she sucked on him the whole while, "Her heart is not in this." His tone was accusing, accusing of Dina. "Tomorrow she will be ready for you. She is afraid." "I'd hoped she would be as enthusiastic being taken as she has been with her mouth. Have you stimulated her during her preparation?" "Each time, Lord. She is white silk and she fears your size and power," Dina tried as an explanation. "It is not my fault she fears your strength." Cridus seemed to consider this and after a moment pulled her from his member roughly and took Dina harshly. She could hear Dina's gasps and knew they were as much of pain as any excitement. She felt guilty to have failed Dina in this way but was even more afraid of Cridus than she was of Dina. The way both of them spoke about her as if she was not there--or could not hear--or as if she did't matter was frightening as well. She knelt there, naked, watching with a kind of morbid fascination Dina's ravishment, knowing it was a precursor of her own. She looked around, something she has not thought to do on previous evenings. She saw the other two men watching as well as many of the women. The women watched her as much as Dina and Cridus. The men watched Cridus impale Dina, ignoring her. Cridus took a long time. When he was done, Dina lay there under him, motionless, a look of distress on her face. Cridus left her there without a word. She went over to Dina and helped her up. Dina cursed at Cridus under her breath. She was relieved to see Dina's anger was not directed at her. She has gotten a towel for Dina when she felt someone behind her. Cridus was standing there, holding a vial. "Drink this little lita," he said in a tone that for Cridus was not unkind. She began to panic. Was this dark red liquid what had put her in a daze? She didn't want to return to that state again. Sensing her reluctance Cridus took her hair at the nape of her neck and brought the fluid to her mouth. She swallowed it, afraid to do otherwise. "Cridus! What are you giving her?" It was one of the other men. "This doesn't concern you," Cridus spat out at him. "What is it? Our lord will string you up by your filthy member from the battlements if you've given her Diauin." "Nothing so strong. This is just Red Soma, Markus." "You don't give Red Soma to white silk!" Markus continued to shout at Cridus. Cridus walked away from her, still shouting at Markus. She stood there, knowing that they were talking about her, not knowing what all of this meant. She turned as found that her sensations were beginning to change. "What has Cridus given me?" She asked Dina. "Red Soma is given to reluctant slaves. It intensifies all sensation, making every strong sensation seem to be pleasurable. If he's given you enough, he could whip you and have you writhing is pleasure." ------------------------------------------------- The Journey pt. 7 She walked away from Dina then. No one bothered her for the rest of the evening. She lay down on her blanket to sleep. She has been a sound sleeper for the whole journey, the fruits of a series of long marches. Tonight she awoke to see a sky filled with stars. Then she realized what was causing her to remain awake. The thing they had left in her while she slept. On past nights she had learned to ignore it, to treat it as if her bowels were just full. Tonight, she felt something different. It felt like a milder form of the treatment Dina and the other women had given her as she lay, held down by them, and penetrated. She shifted and it felt as if Dina's hand had stroked her, except that the stimulation was definitely in her bottom, not in front. Her sleep was fitful the rest of the night. In the morning it was as if the fog has reappeared, but that it had stayed around her, not penetrating her brain. She could still remember, she could still observe, but each sensation was different. All of her skin was more sensitive. All of her skin reacted to the sensations around her as if she were being carressed. The sensation when Dina removed it from her bottom was ... indescribable. Dina as before had rubbed her sex as she went through the process of removing it. The sensations were overwhelming, not just the pressure, not just the rubbing her sex, but somehow she was well beyond anything she could have experienced before. Dina had to leave her sex alone and just work on removing it from her bottom. When Dina had touched her sex she had nearly thrown off the women holding her. She had climaxed twice as it was thrust into her and again as it was removed. The sensations were overwhelming. They had fed her and gotten her moving with the line but while she could think reasonably well the nature of her reality was terribly distracting. It got worse. She felt the wind on her naked body. It felt like silk running over her. They crossed a knee deep stream. It was like ice cold velvet. It intensified all morning. She leaned against a tree for support and found the bark rubbing against her breasts to bring on an orgasm. She fell to her knees and couldn't focus on anything for some minutes. She felt hands on her trying to get her moving but she couldn't stand. She couldn't focus enough for that. She felt the sun on her body like a lover's caress. She heard voices. She tried to focus. Cridus was there shouting. A moment later so was Marcus, but Marcus wasn't shouting the same way. After an interval she realized the reason she noticed a difference was that Marcus was not shouting at her but at Cridus. The shouting continued and then stopped. Something was forced into her mouth. She swallowed. After a time she found herself stumbling along with Dina on one side holding her up. The sensations were still strong, but tollerable now. She found herself walking on her own and while the feeling of the ground on her feet still was terribly sensual, she was able to continue. That evening she had to sit carefully in order to be able to eat. She looked about and couldn't see Cridus. She tried to meet Dina's eyes but the meal was over before she could make contact with Dina. Dina sat next to her. She saw Marcus walking toward them. She looked into Dina's eyes with the questions showing plainly. "Marcus cursed Cridus for endangering you after the Lord had made such a show of wanting you whole for him," Dina told her, Marcus still approaching, "Cridus bore his insults for just so long and then drew his knife. "Cridus tried to cut Marcus. Marcus left Cridus in the streambed." She tried to assimilate this. She had feared Cridus but as for wanting him dead ... Marcus was standing next to her. "Come little lita." He took her arm and led her away from the other women. She looked back to see Dina smiling a triumphant smile at her. Marcus took her to his tent. He pulled her to her knees and then sat down. She knew what was expecteed. The opened his garmet and took out his thickening member. Taking it in her mouth she showed what Dina and Cridus had taught her. She had been a good student. She licked the sides. She took the head between her lips. She used her lips on the tip and the sides. His member stiffened in her mouth. The sensation of sucking on him was nothing like what it had been like with Cridus. While a part of her knew it was the effects of the drug, another part reveled in the sensation of performing oral sex in a way that made it feel like she was, was masturbating as she did it. She did not have the concentration she'd had the night she'd forced Cridus to orgasm into her mouth when he'd planned on invading Dina's bottom, but her enjoyment was no longer at just doing a good job, it was literally making love with her mouth. Marcus pulled her off or his throbbing member. She hung on against his strength as long as she was able. He touched her breasts. She came seconds later. The orgasm stayed for a very long time as he crushed her lips against his. This was her place then. She not only didn't resist Marcus, couldn't resist him, she was his active accomplice in her deflowerment. For the first time she saw the fiber that kept her virginity intact, not as a blessing but as a curse. She desperately wanted to know what it would feel like to have him enter her there. She could feel the moisture from her excitement begin to dampen the tops of her thighs. Marcus turned her over on her stomach and her excitement reached a new height. As her passions rose, she found herself piercing the veil that had shrouded her memory. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered that was not sensation, that was not immediate. She needed Marcus, needed to be penetrated by him, needed the contact, needed the power he brought with him. She bent over thrust back her pelvis, moving her knees apart to make it easier for Marcus to enter her. A part of her was lucid enough to know what she was experiencing the results of what was left of the red soma in her system, but the largest part of her awareness was on the sensations and her need of them. His hand was on her slit, running up and down it. She felt his member and realized he was transferring her wetness to it. Then Marcus' hands were on her bottom, spreading her cheeks. The sensation of his member touching her bottom nearly overcame her. As she felt her sphincter stretch she felt her knees go weak. As the angle changed, his powerful arm snaked around her waist, pulling her back up. He continued his way into her until she felt his hips, his pubic hair pressed against her bottom. He withdrew but then thrust back into her. She was in heaven. Her body began to writhe as the first orgasm hit. She was lying on Marcus' mat. She felt her own perspiration drying on her naked body. Marcus' seed was drying on her thighs and bottom. Her skin was still sensitive but not as, as powerful as before. She felt the sperm drying on her thighs and realized that in her current condition, it felt good, even luxurious, the way a soft towel would have felt in the past. The past. An odd concept for her at the moment. It was like looking at a picture through a doily. The picture was indestinct, couldn't be seen clearly enough to attract her attention. She remembered ... Seattle. It began as an odd name and then became buildings, became her home, became her parents, her sister. She remembered what it had been to be in those days. She shuddered at the memory of Dina fondling her. It was not just unusual it was wrong shameful. It would have been bad enough to have had a man do that, but ... then the rest of it came to her, the memory of not just being touched, excited, but the preparation that Dina had put her through to have Marcus, no not Marcus, Cridus, take her bottom. She was still in this daze of partial memories when Marcus returned. It took him longer this time. She wasn't sure if he was slower this time because he was trying to be more gentle or because he was not as passionate or because she was less passionate, less under the effects of the red soma. When Marcus saw how she was moving he slid his hand from her waist to her sex, stimulating her as he took her bottom. She came again, less powerfully this time, but still very strong. She slept. When she awoke it was dark. She was still naked. Her bottom was sensitive if not painful. Marcus was asleep next to her, his arm over her, holding one of her breasts in a propriatary manner. He was close to naked himself. She could feel his member, soft now, pressed against her bottom through some cloth. She felt his strong thighs against her flanks and leaned back on him. Again the memories scattered around her. When she thought of how she had been trained by Cridus and Dina to perform orally on him, she shuddered. The self she remembered had never considered doing such a thing though she had been aware that other women did such things. Even in the dark she knew her cheeks were red, she could feel the heat against her naked shoulders. She remembered the pride of accomplishment she'd felt and that was the most shattering thought of all. Her movements must have woken Marcus. He pulled aside his wrap and had her again, this time less a matter of passion than a sign of ownership. He caused her orgasm more as a sign of his control than out of concern for her. If anything this was stronger than the last. She moaned and shuddered as she came, later certain that everyone in camp must have known what she was doing. She awoke again just before dawn. Her sensations seemed back to normal. When she sensed the dried semen on her thighs she was much more interested in bathing than in reveling in the sensation of being a recent conquest of Marcus. She found herself thinking of how much better the experience of anal sex had been than she had expected. It was then that she realized, as if her mind had only just begun working again, that Cridus was half a days march behind them, dead in a stream bed. Marcus had killed him in the arguement over her. She saw herself not just as Marcus' sex object but saw herself as the spoils of a fight to the death. Certainly Marcus was less objectionable than Cridus had been, but his conquest of her had been the result of winning a fight rather than out of desire for her. This combination of thoughts caused several emotions to run through her. Shame at not even being able to tell herself that her ravishment was the result of passion. Relief at being spared the attentions of Cridus. Excitement at the remembered passion of the previous night. A second different shame at having enjoyed it. She was sent to the other women as the day's march began. She detected no special treatment or tenderness from Marcus, save that he and Melar, the youngest of the guards now seemed to move up and down the line more than before when Cridus had been available to help. In a strange way this lack of any benefit from her night of sex with Marcus was comforting as if she could now finally take her place as just another of the women instead of one with special privledges from a shameful act. She had tried to catch Dina's eye at each of the rest stops they'd made but Marcus had had something for one of them to do at each stop. When they stopped for the night and it was permitted, she waded into the river and washed off the last of the signs of the previous night. She left the river and went to the line of women where dinner was distributed. Dina sat next to her as they ate. Neither of the men were near. "Thank you, Dina," she said quietly, "You prepared me well. It was not," she paused, unsure of the word to use, "an ordeal," she said finally. "Don't think it's over yet. They often keep a new girl for several days," Dina answered, not meeting her eyes. With that they ate the rest of their meal in silence. She watched Melar and Marcus eat their meal. Marcus was good naturedly cuffing the younger man and was obviously enjoying himself. Marcus turned his back after giving Melar a shove. Melar walked toward the women and pointed toward her and toward Dina. He lay down on his back signaling to them just as Cridus had. Dina and she exchanged glances and walked forward. Dina knelt down in her regular position and she knelt down at Melar's side and began exposing his sex. "No, little lita. Change places with Dina," He said. She watched Dina expose his lengthening member and take it into her mouth. After watching for several minutes, she judged her skills to be superior to Dina's. Melar shoved Dina off of his lap and had impaled her in a matter of seconds. He gripped her sex as he thrust into her. All through the day she thought on her new memories. As she felt him in her bottom she realized that she was experiencing something here that had been lacking in her life. She reached her first orgasm as she lay under him. He continued to thrust into her. Even without the red Soma she was on the ragged edge of losing herself to the sensation. She saw her name from those days before and it had no more meaning to her. She lay on the ground as Melar walked away from her. Dina helped her stand. They walked over to their sleeping mats. The next morning as Marcus got them moving he told them that they were on their last day the trail. He gripped her by her right cheek and said, "I'm sure the Lord will be happy to see all you've learned." She felt a chill go through her at the thought of meeting the man who had set all this in motion. The Journey by John Carter