I'm a trucker.  I drive all kinds of trucks, including the tractor-trailers that
gay guys everywhere fantasize about when they see those ads on TV about hitting
the road in a "big rig." I've had the opportunity to curse every kind of weather,
every type of road, and every fucking dispatcher who ever screwed with my
routine.  I've sat with hundreds of other drivers in truck stops, rest areas, and
engaged in the bullshit of the profession in which every story begins with the
words, "You won't believe this one, but . . ."

And I've fucked up a storm on the road in every state among the lower 48.  I've
met guys on the road in cars and, yes, there are situations in which long-haul
truckers even do it with each other.

I've never understood why gay guys have such a big attraction to truckers.  Hell,
most truckers I've seen in the truckstops are overweight, have lousy dental work,
need a shower badly, and talk like the backwoods boys of "Deliverance." 
*Without* ever saying, "Squeal like a pig!"

But the attraction is there.  I feel it every time I park my rig, and in every
setting in which I've parked it.  A tractor-trailer is like a magnet.  It
attracts guys who want to do a number with äyou merely because you're a trucker. 
And in the darkened back of my sleeper cab, I've actually had guys spend an hour
cruising me without even knowing what I look like.  As an aside, I should tell
you that I don't do it with those guys - if their standards are such that they're
willing to do *any* trucker, regardless of looks, then their standards are below
mine.  For better or worse, if ninety percent of the truckers out there are,
figuratively speaking, trolls, I'm lucky enough to be in the other ten percent.

As I have written the stories of trucker encounters, I'm often asked to describe
the guys I meet on the road more fully.  But I don't want to do that.  If you're
reading these stories with one hand while your other hand is occupied, I don't
want to blow the image *you* are creating in your own mind about what the guys I
have encountered look like.  Or, for that matter, what I look like.  Some of you
may be into hairy studs who wear Harley jackets, others may be into California
surfer types, still others fantasize the nice-guy trucker who could pass for a
preppie in another life.  The one thing that the guys I have met in this
profession have in common is the profession itself - the fact that we intimately
know what life on the road is like.  The shared knowledge that, in spite of every
dispatcher who can throw a hissy fit as bitchy as any queen, the negatives are
outweighed by the opportunity to wake up in the middle of the wilderness, to
catch a mountain sunrise or sunset that you can't appreciate from the perspective
of a car, to hit the road knowing that you have a freedom that few will ever
experience.  The "Last American Cowboy" image of the long-haul trucker may, to
some degree, be a stereotype, but to another degree it rings quite true.

There is one quality that I want all of my stories of trucker encounters to have:
other than the fact that you can get your rocks off on them, they will also give
you an education of what a trucker's life is like.  Every one of the stories
contains actual information about the profession itself, about driving a big rig,
about what it is that truckers actually do for a living.  And if you want to
increase your chance of actually having a trucker encounter of your own, the
least *you* can do is become literate about what *we* do.  For every story,
you'll not only shoot a load or two, you'll actually learn something.

As a result of these stories about my trucker encounters, I've received e-mail
from many guys who want to know if I travel through their home areas and if we
can hook up for an encounter. Sorry, guys, the answer is no.  I get through most
areas of the country while driving a rig, but to arrange a sexual encounter in
advance would, for me, take the spontaneity out of the situation. Somehow, the
thought of a pre-arranged blow job or fuck session at a specific truck stop or
rest area doesn't cut it - it would be too damn routine.

So how do you ultimately find a trucker with whom you can have an encounter?  You
learn about the places that truckers hang out, äyou learn about who we are and
what we do, and you learn to practice patience.  Whether gay or straight,
truckers are hip enough to know what we want, and if it's a matter of getting our
rocks off, don't worry about it - *we'll* find *you*.

One final note . . . You'll notice that none of the stories involve the use of CB
radios to arrange encounters.  I've often been asked about "the right lines to
use on a CB" to cruise a trucker.  But that's a technique I don't recommend at
all.  Even though there are lots of truckers who will be willing to get it on
with you, there are also a lot of redneck crackers out there who wouldn't think
twice about kicking the shit out of you because you happen to be gay.  Yeah, we
could get into all of the arguments about their repressed sexuality, but the
bottom line is that if you cruise the wrong guy, you're running a risk.  Even
straight truckers know about the gay action that abounds over the road, and
they're the ones that you don't want to provoke. Truckers are generally a human
bunch of guys, and you don't have to be paranoid.  You should, however, be
careful about who you cruise and how you do it, placing your own safety above
every other concern.

With that in mind, it's time to read about the trucker encounters.  And there
*will* be a quiz at the end of the class.