You ever have one of those days where everything you do turns to shit? Well today was my day, I woke up horny as always and while pounding away on myself my mother walked in. She stood there for what seemed like three hours before turning in disgust and walking out slamming my door behind her. I got up, dressed, and headed downstairs to face the music. I walked into the kitchen and she just pointed to the table. "What do you have to say for yourself young man?" She said sternly and without emotion as I sat down. I don't know what hit me but she really pissed me off. She walks into my room without knocking and I'm the bad guy. "I didn't invade your privacy - you sure as hell did mine!" I snapped back. I didn't even see her move but my head snapped back when she hit me. I rubbed my face and could feel the heat from where her hand hit. Fighting back tears I got up and ran back to my room. I ran before she lost control and beat me. She promised me she would never do that again. She said she loved me and would never ever hit me like she used to. I just can't see how someone you love can hurt you so much. "Ryan, open the door." "Go away." "Ryan, Iım sorry. I shouldnıt have hit you. Come out and letıs talk." I could hear the pleading in her voice. I opened the door and let her into my room, keeping a safe distance as she walked in and sat on my bed. "Ryan, Iım sorry - I shouldnıt have done that. I don't know what got into me. Can you forgive me?" She looked so sorry for what she did and I wanted to accept her apology right then but she also embarrassed me so much that I thought she needed to pay. "Why did you walk in like that?" I asked. "I deserve some privacy." "I know - itıs that you surprised me. I didn't think you were old enough or even knew about that." She looked down with an embarrassed look, almost as pained as I must have looked. "Mom, Iım 15 - I'm not a kid." "I know but I still see you as my little boy. Iım sorry." She reflected for a moment and added, "Iıll tell you what, I won't ever come in without knocking again, deal?" "Deal." I went to her and we hugged. It was always this way - she would hit me and feel sorry. Then we made up like nothing ever happened, that is until the next time. I ate breakfast and wondered what I do that sets her off, I try to do what she asks but sometimes my mouth gets me backed into a corner. Grabbing my books and saying "good-bye" as I was pulling the door shut behind me and trotting to the bus stop. "Whatıs up Rye?" Steven asked as I sat beside him on the bus. Steven was a year older than me but was held back a year because of his grades. He was also my best friend. "Nothinı much, you do the history assignment?" He laughed at me like I was some kind of fool, "Do I ever?" I laughed also and handed him mine to copy. Steven never seemed to do his homework but I always allowed him to copy mine. I know he didn't learn anything from that but not only was he my best friend but I have this crush on him and would do anything for him. Iıve had these feelings for some time, feelings that girls werenıt my thing but guys were. I guess that makes me weird or worse yet a freak but I can't change who I am. We sat in silence on the way to school, Steven copying my homework and me daydreaming. I was thinking about this morning and not getting off because my mom walked in - I was going to be all pent up all day now. I was startled back to the real world by Steven handing me my homework back. "You with us this morning?" "Sorry," I mumbled, taking my homework. Steven was looking at me like he was unsure if he should say anything to me and I noticed he was looking at my cheek. "She hit you again," he said. It was not a question but a statement. He had been around when my mom lost control and had also let me stay over at his house while she cooled off. "You OK?" "I'm fine - we made up." "OK." He never pried into the situation but always showed his concern. That is one of the reasons I love him so much. Getting off the bus we parted and headed to our first period class. I entered the science lab and took my seat in the back row and pulled out my lab book. Today was a "conclusion" day and we were going to go over the lab work we did yesterday. I was relaxing and waiting for class to begin when a new kid came in and shyly took the empty chair in front of me. I was thunderstruck, he was hot looking. He had blond hair and a swimmers build and from what I could see from his jeans he had one nice package. He nodded at me and as he sat down I was presented by a full and firm looking ass. Looking at this dude had "Mr. Blinky" pushing my pants out while he tried to bust open my zipper. I was so hard it hurt, but damn it was worth it for the view. We still had a few minutes before class started and I wanted to meet this guy. Even if we never became friends I still needed a name to place with the body to add pleasure to my fantasy session. I tapped him on the shoulder. "I'm Ryan, you new here?" I said as he turned around. He paused for a second then my heart melted as he smiled. "Hi, Iım Ian. Just moved here." Just as I was going to carry on with the conversation, the teacher walked in. Ian turned around facing front and Mr. Taylor started taking attendance. When he got to Ianıs name he paused and welcomed him to our class while filling him in on what we were working on. The whole time Mr. Taylor was talking I was watching Ian. He was moving his legs open and closed like he was full of nervous energy and had to get rid of it fast. While Mr. Taylor droned on I was thinking about Ian - drifting off to a fantasy world where we could do anything. I started wondering what he looked like naked and my mind just ran with the thought. We were in a hotel room with a round bed just like one of those you see in a honeymoon suite. Ian was standing there in a robe and motioned me to his side. I was fully dressed and hard as I walked to his side. "Don't be afraid," he whispered, "Iıll teach you." He stood up and the robe slipped off his shoulders exposing himself. He was firm and tight with a patch of hair around a 6 inch dick that was standing proudly pulling his nut sack forward. Walking to me he wrapped his arms around my back and pulled my lips to his. I felt his tongue push into my mouth, touching my teeth while his hands started pulling off my shirt. Ian stepped back a half step and removed my shirt in one fluid motion. His eyes traveled over my chest and I watched in wonder as he leaned forward and took my left nipple into his mouth. Electricity shot through me as his mouth clamped on my chest. Standing up he wrapped his arms around me again. "Ryan," he whispered into my ear. "Ryan, oh Ryan." "RYAN!!" I snapped back to the class and found Mr. Taylor calling my name and the class looking at me. Shit, how long had he been calling me? "Welcome back Ryan, now will you go up to the board and show the class the conclusions you made from the lab this week?" I was panic stricken, my cock was standing up hard as a rock and I had to walk up to the front of the class with a tent pole showing for all to see. Standing up I tried to use the lab book to hide my crotch and was running through figures in my head hoping that Blinky would go back to sleep. There were a few chuckles from my classmates who saw my problem. I was hurt more because Ian also saw my problem and had a smirk on his face. What more could happen to me today? First mom catching me jerking off and now having to stand in front of 25 classmates with a hard-on. I got through it somehow and headed back to my seat embarrassed but glad was over. I passed Ianıs seat and couldn't look at him, I felt he knew what caused my hard-on and that if we had a chance to be friends it was now shot to hell. By lunch time I had put the morning behind me hoping that the day would get better. I grabbed a tray and got the fine mass produced lunch of government approved nutrition and sat down alone. I almost choked on my food when Steven slapped my back as he sat down. "Asshole." Steven was fun but could also be a pain. "Have a good time in science?" He asked with a wicked grin. "I hear it is a hard subject to master." I was mortified. If he knew what happened it is all over school now. I would be fucked with and teased until some other spud did something stupid or embarrassing. "You know?" I asked. He chuckled and told me how some guys were talking about it in his third period English class. "Donıt worry, they seemed to think it was funny but said you had Œballsı to stand up like that." "Fuck," I said under my breath. This was not going to be my day. "Listen," Steven said, "it will blow over. What were you thinking about?" Right like I was going to tell my friend that a new dude in class got me all hot and bothered. "Daydreaming, thatıs all." "Been there - didn't need to stand up - but I know it happens." His attitude was not mocking but one of understanding. That's one thing I like about Steven - he never puts you down no matter what happens. Guess in some way Iım lucky to have a friend like him. "Playing ball after school?" "Can't," Steven sighed. "got detention for the spit wad thing yesterday." I laughed, "Someone must have ratted you out." "Who knows." We ate lunch and joked around - sort of talking about nothing and everything at the same time. We headed off to gym together when the fourth period bell rang. I was thinking about Ian while we walked to class and wondered if he was in any other of my classes and if maybe we could become friends. We had a killer game of volleyball during gym and even though my team lost I had a good time. After the game we all hit the showers to rinse off before our next class. OK, Iıll admit it the showers are what drives my day, a chance to look at some flesh and not get caught or accused of being a "queerboy." That happened last year, this kid got a raging hard-on while in the showers and he never heard the end of it. From that point on I did what it took to keep from getting "Mr. Blinky" all excited. If I felt I was getting hard I hit the towels like a bat out of hell. I pretty much have it down to a science, I hit the locker, move to the corner of the showers, look at the dicks and when "Mr. Blinky" starts to stir I hit the towels and get dressed. Maybe itıs a cheap thrill but for now it is all I have. I was able to breeze through the rest of the day without any major mishap but was a little disappointed to find that Ian was not in any other classes with me. I guess Iıd just settle for the first period class with him. Sitting down on the bus for the trip home I was startled to see Ian board the bus and head right for where I was sitting. "Hi Ryan," he said taking the seat beside me. I couldn't help but to smile, "Hi," I answered, "you survive your first day?" He paused for a minute as if he was reflecting on what to say. That didn't bother me because his leg was up against mine and I was in heaven. "It was tough - don't know anyone. You were the only one to say one word to me. I was wondering how cold hearted everyone was but then remembered this morning and shrugged it off." "No problem." Holy shit, I made his day. Because I was horny and said "hi" I made him feel welcome. I was now pumped up, Steven was not going to be around but it looked like I had a chance to make a new friend. "Where do you live?" I asked. "We moved in a house on Cherry Drive," he answered. "Moved in over the weekend." He was 2 blocks from my house - this was looking better every minute. "Youıre close to my house, I live on Oak." "Cool." I took a breath, "you want to stop by my house on the way home? Itıs on the way - that is if you don't have to rush home." "OK." We headed down the street to my house. My mom was at work so I knew we would be alone for a while - shit I was hoping for something I knew wouldn't happen but my little dirty mind wouldn't give it a rest. "My roomıs upstairs," I said leading him to my sanctuary. "Itıs a mess so hope you don't mind." He laughed, "The only reason my room is neat now is because I haven't unpacked anything yet." I could see him scanning my room as we walked in - he was looking at the posters on the wall and I was a little embarrassed because a few of them were of the Backstreet Boys. I sort of have the hots for Nick Carter the blond one. I set my books down on my desk and stood for a second while he looked around. "Itıs not much but I can hide out here." "I know what you mean - I canıt stand being bugged and live in my room most of the time." "You like music?" I was hoping he would stay for a bit and wanted to make him feel welcome. "Some, mostly just mess with my computer." I went to my new stereo, it is monster system my Uncle Bill got me for Christmas last year and I play it all the time. I put in the Backstreet boys CD and set the volume high enough to hear it but not to be too loud. I always worry about how loud the music is - mom gets a little angry when my music is too loud. That is one hassle I try to avoid. Would Ian want to be my friend if he found out how nasty my mom could get? Not everyone is as cool as Steven. "What kind of computer do you have?" "Just an Apple, not top of the line but itıs cool. You don't have one?" "No, never really got into them." He told me I was missing a lot - that there was tons of porn on the computer and it makes skin mags useless. "Can I see them sometime?" I was slightly excited, shit he was bringing up dirty pictures and that told me he was into the sex scene - I just wondered how far he was into it. "As soon as I get it set up come on over." He looked at his watch and said, "Getting a little late, I need to run - see you tomorrow, OK?" "OK," I led him out and watched from my window as he walked down the street. "Mr. Blinky" was getting full and hard as I watched him walk away. He was cute but I just didn't know if he would ever be interested in me. I couldn't take it any longer, I had to blow a wad and soon. I ran up to my room and stripped naked. I stood in front of the mirror watching my dick as I rubbed it to full attention. I love to do this - watching my body as I got harder and fully aroused. I did this until I spotted some pre-cum on the cockhead and then went to my bed to jerk off to bliss. I closed my eyes thinking about the hotel room scene that was fresh in my head. Tugging my balls and sliding my hand up and down my hard tool I returned to the room with Ian. "Ryan," he whispered into my ear as he started to kiss my neck. I sighed in pleasure as I felt his tongue on my chest. "Shit that feels good," I sighed as his tongue hit my right nipple. He went from one nipple to the other for what seemed like hours then looking into my eyes, he slid to my waiting cock. I watched in awe as his tongue snaked out to lick up the bit of pre-cum that was leaking from all 5 inches of "Mr. Blinky." The heat of his mouth surrounded my cock and I nearly lost my wad at that second. He sucked all of me into his mouth and while moving back and forth on me while lightly twisting my nut sack. I felt the sperm boiling up in my body as he did this - my heart pounding and my breath coming in pants. "Oh fuck," I cried as I started shooting silver strings of cum into Ianıs sucking mouth. I came around to reality as my orgasm slowed down and could feel the hot cum on my hand and stomach. I took up a bit of my own cum and licked it off my finger - wishing it was Ianıs hot tool that was thrust in my face. After cleaning up the spent spunk, I got up and changed into my after school clothes and went to the desk to do my homework before my mom got home. Nothing major happened that evening. As usual mom quizzes me on my day - she always seems to do that. The funny thing is that a simple "Nothing happened" isnıt good enough for her. She needs a long dissertation detailing my activity. "Parents," I mumbled under my breath as I headed upstairs for bed. It was dark in the room but I was under some sort of bright light, I could only see two people but felt like there were hundreds of eyes on me. In one corner under a red light was Steven, he was reaching out for me and calling my name but I couldn't get to him. The more I tried to move in his direction the farther away he became. I was moving toward the other person, moving toward Ian. He also had his arms outstretched and was telling me how much he could show me. I was torn, I couldn't get to Steven and he was in need. I finally gave up and turned to Ian - walking to him I heard Steven cry out one last time before he vanished. I ran to Ian for comfort and when I reached his arms he slapped me hard. I looked up with tears in my eyes to find my motherıs head on Ianıs body. "Is that any way to treat a true friend?" The Ian/Mother thing said. I awoke with a start bathed in sweat confused for a moment then realized that I was only dreaming. What a dream it was - disturbing and scary. Was I really running away from Steven? I rolled over and tried to sleep, tossing and turned all night - I just couldn't shake the image from my head. I got up just before my alarm sounded, I couldn't sleep anyway so decided to take a shower early. I cleaned up, dried off, and got dressed for school. I wondered if Ian would be at the bus stop and if he was, would Steven like him also. The best thing in the world for me would be if all three of us could become friends. Approaching the bus stop, I spotted Ian standing alone as well as Steven near by. They both spotted me and moved to meet me as I got there. Steven looked a little puzzled by the Œnew kid" moving in to talk to me. "Hi Ian, what's up Steven?" I called. "ıMorning," Ian answered looking like an intruder. "Howıs it hanging," answered Steven. I decided to ease Ianıs mind a little. "Steven, this is Ian - heıs cool. He just moved into the area." Steven looked Ian over for a second, "Hi - where you from?" "Moved here from Las Vegas." "Vegas, that sounds cool," I chimed in. "Hot but OK, left a whole bunch of friends there." "That must suck," I told him. We chatted a bit before the bus got there - sort of getting to know each other. Steven and Ian, it seemed, had the same likes when it came to computer games. I felt a little left out about that but was glad that outwardly they were getting along together. When we got on the bus Ian squeezed in beside me. I watched Steven as he moved to the empty seat behind us, he looked hurt and angry that someone had moved in on him. Man, this was not good. "You have the history homework?" Steven asked. I smiled, "sure do." I handed him the paper and he quietly copied down what I had written. "Your room fixed up yet?" I joked with Ian knowing there was no way he could have finished unpacking. "Right, like I can blink and poof the room is all done." That cracked us both up but I was knocked dead in my tracks when I saw Steven looking at Ian with hate in his eyes. Damn, my dream coming to life - he thought Ian was taking me away from him. "You OK?" I asked him. "Iım fine," he said handing me my paper. "Iıve got all I need, thanks." I took my papers back noting that he only copied a small bit. "You coming over after school?" I asked Steven. He shrugged his shoulders, "I guess." "Cool, maybe some video games then." The bus ride was semi-uncomfortable, I was joking and talking to Ian with Steven interjecting occasionally but he was not into the conversation. I was really getting to know Ian better and just wished that Steven would also give him the chance. I wonder why when one person makes another friend that his friends feel that they are being replaced. Iıve known Steven for a few years and I guess in my own way love him. Iım not talking sexually, not that I would object, but as a brother. He has watched out for me when some older kids picked on me and I in turn do homework for him, sort of give and take. Steven has always done even more for me, a few years back my mom really lost it and was so short fused that she smacked me around just for looking at her wrong. I remember running out of the house wondering where I could go - winding up on Stevenıs porch. He welcomed me into his room and never made a deal out of me crying. I know his parents knew why I was there but they never made waves. I guess in some way I wished they turned in my mother but then again where would I have ended up? "See you in gym," I called to Steven as he walked away. "Something bugging him?" Ian asked at my side. I shrugged my shoulders, "don't know - maybe heıs tired." I guess Iıd talk to Steven tonight - have no idea what to say but I don't want to lose him. After school I got on the bus and sat beside Steven, I was glad that Ian wasn't there yet. I really didn't want a scene. "So? Coming over?" He was looking out the window. "Nothing else to do," he answered turning toward me. I let that comment slide - I didn't want to get into a deep talk with Steven knowing that Ian would be getting on the bus soon. "Hi Ryan," Ian said grabbing the seat in front of me, half turning so that he was facing us. "Hi." "You want to come over to my house?" Ian asked. "Sorry butŠ.." "Heıs going to be busy," Steven said cutting me off. "Oh sorry - didn't know," Ian said looking a little taken aback by Stevenıs reaction. I decided to play peacemaker. "Sorry Ian, I made plans with Steven - maybe later or this weekend." "Sounds good." When we got to my house I said "Bye" to Ian and went inside with Steven. I turned on the stereo and started changing into my after-school clothes. "Are you mad at me?" I asked while pulling off my shirt. "No, why?" "You've been quiet - not like you at all. I know I've seen the comments on your report card. What is it, I know, Œdisruptive talking during quiet class times?ı". "Nothingıs up," he replied showing no sign of amusement. I stood there for a second - pants in hand and looked at him. "Is it Ian?" "Maybe" "Listen asshole - you're my best friend. Thatıs not going to change. Ian is just new and has no friends, what does it hurt to be nice to him? Howıd you feel being dumped into a new neighborhood and not knowing anyone?" "I guess it would suck." I laughed, "You know it would suck. If you want Iıll drop him - you are the one whoıs always stood up for me. You're my best friend - that is not going to change. Besides who will do your homework if I don't?" He burst out laughing - that was a good sign. "It wasn't that funny," I told him. He was looking at me still chuckling under his breath. "Not that, you should see yourself - waving your pants like a flag while youıre making a point. Put some clothes on, don't queer out on me standing there in your BVDıs." Ouch, that stung. I know Steven didn't know what he just did but it still hurt. Why must we use labels to describe people? Black, white, gay, straight, Christian, Muslim? I pulled on some pants without saying anything. If I did he would know that I was gay. I bet that would end the friendship real fast. "It takes one to know one," I shot back while pulling on my shirt. "Yeah, right." We listened to some music for a while and I was feeling better about our friendship. I guess Ian was just a small speed bump in it. I was going to challenge Steven to a video game but my mom came home early. She stood in the open doorway, "You finish your homework?" "No mom, Iıll do it a little later." She stood there for a second not saying a word. Shit, Iıd made a mistake - she came home pissed and Iıve added to it. "You can do it now," she retorted. "Steven you need to head home, Ryan has to get his homework done." He got up and said "bye" as he walked past my mom. She continued to stand there for a few minutes then entered my room. "How dare you talk to me like that!!!" "Iım sorry. I wasn't thinking." "I know that, you don't think I know that?? How dare you embarrass me in front of your friend?" Fuck, I knew what was next - it always started this way. I say something after she had a bad day and she went off on me. I braced myself inwardly for what was to happen. She laid into me, "You son of a bitch." I felt blow after blow bouncing off my face and head. She was slapping and punching me about the head and body. "Mom!! Please!" I pleaded. She continued for a few moments and stormed out of the room leaving me balled up on the bed in the fetal position. When she left I allowed myself to cry. I held onto myself trying to hug some comfort back into my being. I so wanted to be loved and held like anyone else and all I get is hit on. Sobbing I tried to figure what I did to be punished so. My dad left us, mom blamed me for that and I think it might have really been my fault. Not only that but I think Iım gay - did my dad figure that out a few years back? Figure me out and leave us high and dry because I was a queerboy just like Steven called me? I walked to the mirror to look at my face. I winced at the reflection looking back at me. My left eye was swollen shut and there was blood dripping from a split lip. "I can't take this much longer," I said to no one. I grabbed my jacket and slipped out my window and down the side of the deck. I didn't know where I was going but I had to leave. If I stayed any longer I might get beat more or even worse I might hit back. I loved my mom so much and it would kill me to hit her, it would tear me apart to cause her any pain. I headed down the street scared and unsure of where I was going.