Unwrap Me First Grump. Piss and Moan. Bitch. Sitting on our bed amid piles of bright crinkly paper, tangled ribbons and bows, I attempt to finish the wrapping of presents for our kids this Christmas Eve. We're behind; of course we're behind. Two busy adults, lively careers, graduate school, two young children just beginning their own crazy schedules with piano lessons, gymnastics, scouts, Sunday school . . . "How am I going to find the time to work on my dissertation?" I wonder to myself, fuming, opening another roll of paper. "And who do they think they are, demanding we finish that project in two weeks?" Cutting quickly with furious motions my tirade continues with, "I can't believe all the money we just spent - they'd better love these presents!" Then, centering yet another toy to wrap, "Shit!" as the paper tears on the corner of a large box. At that moment the bedroom door opens just a crack to admit the relaxed face of my husband, back from checking on the kids. Eyes twinkling, he takes in my frazzled appearance and the ensuing storm. He says, "Hey. They're asleep." He risks life and limb wandering into the room, locking the door behind him. "Hey," he says again. I mutter an unintelligible reply. "Can I help?" Glaring at him, "What do you think?" Chuckling now, totally unaffected by my angry mood, he sits on the bed and picks up a toy to wrap. It's one of the boys from the Bratz dolls series. Squinting slightly, he holds it out at arm's length, studying the cropped hair, jewelry, backpack. "It looks like a girl." "I know." "So why does she -" "I don't care why she wants it!" He looks over at my fuming face and smiles easily. "God, you're sexy when you're pissed." I bite back an answering smile, saying, "If you're not going to help, please leave. There's still too much to do before we can get some sleep tonight. "Absolutely." he says, wearing THAT grin. Ladies, you know the grin I'm talking about. That charming, I wanna have sex, aren't I cute, c'mon baby kind of grin. Most women have seen that grin before. Only somewhat affected, I shake my head, "No." "Aw, c'mon," he teases, picking up the dolls again. He rearranges limbs, placing them in obscene and compromising positions. "See? The Bratz dolls are having sex!" "No." I say, looking away. "We have to get this done." Next he finds the Magic 8 ball. Shaking the toy he asks the bedroom at large, "Will we be having sex tonight?" He's astounded as he turns it over to read, "It Is Decidedly So." That forces a smile, but I'm not going to give in that easily. (It's tough to get rid of a really good grump). Moving in closer on the bed, he toys with the Rescue Heroes URV robot I'm attempting to wrap. He flicks the switch and the robot announces loudly, "System Operational." I try to pull the box away but URV keeps talking with, "Awaiting Input," (and my husband's questioning glance) and then "Commence Action," (to his "Yeah, baby!") Next he takes control of the remote, causing the robot to become very tall and announce it has reached, "Maximum Body Extension." At my husband's answering wink and somewhat inappropriate hand gestures, I decide enough is enough. I throw wadded green wrapping paper in his general direction, followed by gold ribbon, a bag of bows and an empty shirt box. He ducks each item, and grabs my arms, tickling me, finally making me laugh at his antics. Still a bit worried, I met his eyes and wonder, "How are we ever going to get all of this stuff wrapped by tomorrow?" He gentles my hair, strokes my cheek, saying, "It'll get done," and then pulls me in to capture my mouth. His chin is rough, he tastes like peppermints and I melt into his body. I can't believe how hot he makes me, instant lust, and I wrap arms around him and kiss him back with excitement. It's a good thing our bed is large; we shove the presents and wrapping implements aside as we tumble. I'm wearing one of his shirts and as we kiss and lick and nibble he easily opens it, baring my tits. Leaning back he removes his T-shirt and then takes us down on the sheets. Our warm bare skin meets, soft against hard. I writhe against him with increasing passion as his mouth and tongue and teeth devour my neck, my nipples, my navel. Moaning, I stretch out, hands fisting in his dark hair as he travels down the length of my exposed body. Sliding impatient fingers into my panties he tears them down; they end up somewhere below my knees. His mouth finds my aroused pussy and I gasp as he begins to lick. He isn't gentle; his insistent tongue demands my attention as he pleasures every inch of my quivering flesh. When he moves to my clit I can't remain still. Groaning and moving my hips up to his mouth I'm murmuring, "don't stop, oh please," and I can feel him smile as he continues to lick and now nibble my sensitive clitoris. Clenching, trembling, my body arches upward as my orgasm bursts through me. "Ohhhhh!" Everything implodes, my eyes are shut tightly, I can't even think as I fall back, panting, shuddering. Still shaking, my eyes open to watch my husband join me at the top of the bed, erection pointing the way. He wipes his smiling mouth and then kisses me. I taste myself on his lips, and the thought excites me darkly as I reach out to touch him. Oh, he is so hard. I start to stroke him with one hand but he has other ideas and pushes me back on the bed, putting his hands under my ass cheeks. He lifts me slightly, easily fits his cock to my dripping pussy and thrusts home. He groans at the tightness, the wet, the warmth, and I gasp at the sensation of his thick cock filling sensitive tissues. I am so willing; he easily fucks in and out of me, pleasuring us both. "Pinch your nipples," he says, and I comply, looking up into his lust-filled face. He pumps harder into me as I tease and toy my peach-colored nipples for his and for my own enjoyment. With a grin he reaches, lubes a bit with some of my wetness and then slides a finger into my tight ass. I squeal and squirm, but his hands are holding me firmly, and soon I'm begging for more as he continues to fuck me and finger me. Whimpering, I pinch my nipples harder at his direction and moan as he continues to torment my ass in time with his thrusts. Then he stops, backs up slightly and lifts my knees up over his shoulders. His smoldering look tells me what he intends, and before I can protest, his large, rock hard cock is poised at my tightest hole. I am well lubed, somewhat prepared, and I attempt to relax as he pushes forward, forcing entrance. Eyes widening, biting my lip, I wriggle a bit as my tender ass gradually submits. I reach down to play with my aroused pussy as he continues to push forward, not stopping until he is in all the way. Pausing slightly to allow me some time to adjust, he watches my busy fingers. "Oh, yeah, finger your pussy," he breathes, and I do, the arousal filling my head. Sweet moisture trickles down to where his thickness stretches my tightness. Grabbing my cheeks, cupping them, he begins to take deep, powerful strokes. Anal sex is always so intense for me; his hard pounding makes me beg for more and I clench as I start to cum again. I hear his answering groan as my ass tightens, and with a few more rough thrusts he fills me with copious liquid, spilling out a bit as he slows, gentler, softer, more soothing. My eyes are still closed, I'm breathing heavily, perspiring freely, wincing just a bit as he backs away. Then I'm soothed as he gathers me in close. I'm comforted, loved, cherished. Our lust-filled holiday fog slowly lifts and I open my bleary eyes to find myself snarled in a tangled pile of ribbon. We've managed to crush a roll or two of wrapping paper, and as I push my mussed hair out of my eyes I realize I have a shiny red bow stuck to my ass. I yelp as he pulls it off, then holds me tightly, chuckling. "Better now?" "Mmmm," I manage, snuggling. "Wonderful. But I suppose," I reluctantly add, sighing, "we'd better get moving on wrapping these presents. If I can move." Grinning again, tucking my hair back from my face, he says, "I suppose." "Oh, we have to," I groan. "We've got a lot of work to do before Santa comes tonight." "Honey," he smiles. "I think he already did."