ASS TAX 


I adjusted my tie and rang the doorbell.  I heard
scuffling and a female voice say "Get out of my way,
you damn cat" and then the door was unlocked and
opened.  "Yeah?" said the woman visible in the small
opening.

"Ass tax," I said.  "You should have received official
notification--"

"Oh, yeah, right," she said, closing the door and
unlatching the chain, then reopening it.  "I got it
here somewhere.  I never heard of no ass tax before."

"It's a new government program, designed to reduce
bureaucratic inefficiency as a result of the
Hmmhmm-Frmmhmmhmm Act," I said as she let me into the
house.

"Whatever," she said as I followed her back toward the
kitchen of her cheap, untidy apartment.

Her place, and its occupant, were perfect examples of
Jerry Springer America--the apartment dominated by a
TV, food plates sitting straight on the roughly
upholstered couch, beer cans and one of the Left
Behind novels visible just under it.  While she--how
may I describe her loveliness?  Fat ass in a too-tight
pair of white shorts leading down think trunk-like
thighs to bare feet, sloping breasts hanging low over
a broad belly under a Tommy Hilfiger T-shirt, stringy
bottle-blonde hair and sunken eyes bespeaking little
intelligence but, I sensed, enormous primitive
enthusiasm in bed.

"Here it is," she said, holding my own crudely
computer-generated document at me.  "Are you sure this
is the only way to pay this tax?"

"Not at all, ma'am," I said.  "If you'll just look
under subparagraph B, Section 2, codicil XVIII, you
will see that a cashier's check for $6,313 may be
remitted--"

"I don't got no six thousand dollars lyin' around,"
she snorted derisively.

"Well, that only leaves one alternative," I said.  "Is
your husband around?"

"Nah, he's at work at the bottling plant," she said. 
"He won't be back until tonight."

"Well, then, that should give us plenty of time to
handle the entire past due amount," I said.  "Would
you like to get started or do you need a drink first?"

"Nah, I already had one at breakfast," she said.  "You
want something?"

"Not on the job, ma'am," I said.  "May I sit down?"

"Sure, whatever," she said, as I knocked a pizza box
onto the floor, scaring the cat back into the closet. 
"How do we do this?"

"Well, from my point of view, it's usually best to get
started with a little striptease," I said.  "Helps me
get into the frame of mind.  You understand, I have to
keep my enthusiasm up, I have to make 7 or 8 of these
calls a day."

"I don't normally like to show off," she said, looking
uncertain for the first time.  "I ain't no Cameroon
Dye-ass."

"Why, I think you're quite lovely," I said.  "A
robust, womanly figure of Rubenseque sensuality.  He
was a painter, Rubens."

"Right, and he played Pee Wee Herman, too," she said,
visibly cheered by the unaccustomed praise.  "I guess
I can do that."  She turned on the radio and some
ghastly rap music started coming out of it.  But it
did the job, she started grinding her huge round ass
and letting her droopy tits sway back and forth. 
"Should I take off my shirt?"

"Yes, please, slowly," I said as she snuck it up over
her white belly, then revealed the bottom part of each
pendulous tit, then turned around as she lifted it
over her head, showing the folds of fat beneath each
underarm and the love handles on each hip.  She turned
around, and shimmied as her flat dangly tits swayed
back and forth, rising and then slapping down onto her
pale jelly belly.

"Show me your bush," I said.  "I like a woman with a
big bush."  She blushed and then began to slide the
white shorts over her broad hips and past her belly. 
I saw brown fur, confirming the insincerity of her
blonde hair, and then she stood before me completely
nude except for her tattoos, a Venus of Willendorf (I
decided not to try to explain that one to her). 
"Gorgeous," I said, and she smiled broadly.

"Now what?" she asked.

"Show me where the government's going," I said, and
she turned around and displayed her big broad white
ass to me.  "Spread wide," I said, and she planted her
fat thick thighs a little further apart and then
spread her cheeks apart with her hands, revealing a
little pink pucker and her broad, hairy gash below it.
 I grabbed her huge hams and starting licking my way
down her crack, tickling her from behind until I
reached her asshole.  I wiggled my tongue around it
and then started ramming her with it, pushing it as
far inside her brown ring as I could get it to go.  

"Play with yourself," I said, and I felt her hand
appear below my chin and start to frig her clit,
furiously, as her slit moistened and the smell of her
sex became inescapable.  I withdrew my tongue from her
asshole and jammed a finger deep into her ass.  She
shrieked but then rubbed her clit even harder and
within a few moments, as I slowly, torturously drew my
finger out and her greedy pink asshole sucked it back
inside, I felt her whole body start to shake and she
moaned and then slammed her massive hams around my
face, trapping my nose flat against her asshole as she
slimed pussy juice all over my face, as she came.

I let her relax for a moment and then I said, "Are you
ready to pay your ass tax?"

"Yes, fuck my ass, govermint man," she moaned, and I
whipped my pants down and stuck my hard dick against
the hole I had been moistening up.  If I thought there
was going to be any resistance I was quickly shown
otherwise as her hungry ass seemed to suck my dick
deep inside her guts.  I slammed her ass hard as my
cock rooted her out.  Her fingers kept playing with
her clit as I grabbed onto her enormous swaying tits
and felt her sagging belly brush up against my arm
with each thrust.  I took the finger that had been up
her ass and touched her lips with it; she sucked that
into her mouth, moaning for it.  It was great watching
her massive fat ass ride my dick like a lollypop, her
ripples of fat swaying with each hard slam of my groin
against her big, sloppy ass.  Within a few moments I
could control it no further and I grabbed her chunky
thighs to keep my cock as deep within her butt as I
could as I shot wave after wave of cum far up her
intestines.

She whimpered as I pulled out of her ass, then rolled
over, her massive tits rolling to either side as her
jelly belly jiggled.  She grabbed her T-shirt and
wiped my cock roughly clean of whatever it had picked
up inside her ass, then greedily pulled me up and took
my cock into her mouth and began sucking it.  I grew
hard again as I massaged her big floppy tits and
rested my ass on her soft belly.  "Is there a pussy
tax, too?" she asked, in between sucks.

"As a matter of fact, there is," I said.

"Well, no sense in you having to make two trips," she
said, and started pushing me off of her face so that I
could get into position to collect it, too.



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